Sufi | book 3

kissing myself

You're wondering what it's like to kiss yourself your reflection in the mirror. It's basically the same as kissing another person but a whole lot better in my opinion. You get more out of it than you would kissing another person in my opinion and that's what I think. When I kiss myself in the mirror I end up really feeling honestly the best person in the world and halfway decent. Plus it's a lot of fun. I know that sounds childish saying that oh I like to kiss girls cuz it's fun or I like a kiss boys because it's fun but that's what it is it's kind of fun to kiss yourself in the mirror and then you're kind of you know turned on but that's beside the point is good to make out with yourself once in awhile I think. I always kiss myself good morning make out a good morning make out session on the mirror with my reflection. Is it hard yes it is very hard and interesting and you need to do so. I'd like to do this with fake blood water do you say that because well it's kind of a thing for me the fake blood it's a golf thing it's not that were mentally ill or anything it's just a golf thing we like her special effects makeup. But this is the first time you'd ever want to kiss someone who'd have fake blood all over their face and in this case it's yourself because that's what rekindled your interest in yourself in the first place. Kissing myself is very fun and I'd like to keep doing it all day but I couldn't because I have other shit to do.
Plus I like to take pictures of me making it with myself I don't grab my own body parts or my ass or anything I just make sweet love to my face with my tongue and go ahead and kiss away sometimes it's a lot of fun but it's awkward to take a selfie sometimes when you want to share that special moment on Facebook or otherwise. I enjoy going around loving myself as a partner and as a lover as well as a companion. Is the best feeling in the world to kiss yourself in the mirror you should try it sometime I don't think you should but unless you are open-minded then go ahead. You never know what could be in the future there or who might be your next soulmate it could be you. I'm sorry if I plastered stories about random things before I was just trying to show that I write a lot. But anyways I end up like doing a lot of poetry and a lot of other things but my favorite thing to do is to kiss myself in the mirror and try to think it's thehottest person in the world which is the hottest person in the world because it's me.  
And this might sound narcissistic but why not be in love with myself because I am a decent looking human being I'm healthy I'm strong and I'm beautiful and I am who I am. I'm the only person that knows myself like the back of my armpit and that's the truth so I may as well stick with what I'm on familiar ground with. And resources kind of interesting to kiss yourself in the mirror. I end up kissing myself a lot in the mirror kissing myself good night or kissing myself good morning I had better do that pretty soon because I'm going to go to go and eat breakfast soon and I want to tell myself that I love myself through physically kissing myself in the mirror. It's no different it's like a French kiss and it's just on the mirror as if you're kissing your reflection. But I am attracted to the person in the mirror myself and that's what it is. Is that so wrong now but it's just the way it is sometimes. That's the G-rated version of my love for my selfie are rated version is that I touch my breasts and massage them before I get a little too hot and bothered. And that is the truth there. As I said this is a lifestyle I wouldn't recommend for anyone unless you're very open-minded about your people around you and open-minded about people in general and open-minded sexually. I don't think that you should be unless you're truly in love with yourself and attracted to yourself don't kiss yourself in the mirror don't do anything that's anything hanky. But that's so sorry the point that what do I do to satisfy myself and it made myself happy sexually what do I do to make myself happy otherwise I read books I do music I rap I also do stargazing another things that's how I spoil myself in the long run. This is basically how you date yourself is that you do the things you enjoy. And also touching as well. I covered my breasts very much so and love my touching of them and massaging them. I'm sorry to get a little graphic there but that's beside the point. This is why this is mature because of sexuality and of course the goddamn language that I use sometimes and there's some things that people talk about like me that other people don't have the cojones used to talk about to their friends or family about like being abused or otherwise by other idiots like Marcel or other stuff so that's what it's like. I have the balls to say what I need to say what needs to be said and what I think about life in general and what I think about what needs to be said and addressed in the world. Most people don't usually want to talk about mental health or Suicide Prevention or want to learn about that stuff some people just shot it away and think it's just a pile of b******* and go and not bother with it because they're too afraid that they might be talking about themselves. But it's important to talk about yourself and your feelings about what's going on in your f****** life because it's the only way that's going to survive and make you survive in the world. Is if you have the balls to talk about what you need to talk about like saying for example when I was with Marcel and I was being told to kill myself I had the balls to tell about the relationship and how the condition of the relationship was which was abusive and stuff and I was able to get out of it right away if it weren't for that I probably would be in the morgue. That's why I say it's very important to talk about the tough issues whether you like it or not. Some people just say oh it can't happen to me it can't happen to me or it can't happen to my friends or family but f*** it it can happen. And that's why I wrapped to tell you that these things are real and they should be valid in conversation every day conversation or just in passing conversation like you don't feel you don't look too good you look like you're down and out may I talk to you kind of thing that's basically the size of it with me. I think that's important to talk about my s*** with people when I get upset or pissed off or angry or annoyed even if it's over a small things I eat address it right away and I go and deal with it. I don't handle it like a child and keep things a secret anymore. That's not the way to go to keep things bottled up instead if you're going to be a badass person might I suggest actually talking about the stuff that needs to be said in the world like about abuse mental health suicide and other things that might have a better influence on you if you talk about them and your feelings and experiences that's why I say it's important to God damn open your mouth. Or open a diary and right in case you can't really exactly say what you have to say at least you have your writing to be a form of your voice if it's something bad happens. I kept a diary when I was with and I documented everything when I was with Marcel in case I didn't make it out of the relationship. So it's important to talk about these things whether you want to or not before the red flags come up and to learn what the red flags are and I already mentioned that to you as to what the red flags are. As I said you're the only lover in your life and you're the only friend in your life the other people are just extras and a movie about your life so you just have to be taken care of yourself as well as not just kissing yourself in the mirror but actually helping yourself survive in this world. If you have to move out of a talk to situation say it I need to leave that's what I said when I moved to the group home I need to leave because this is too toxic. And I remembered that year it was toxic environment with the guy from Burkina Faso who was buggering up our family killing my mother slowly and now she is dead because of it liver cancer. But I don't blame him anymore I just blame their liver cancer because that's what really killed her. But as I said these things are things that need to be said about what's going on in life. Or you might want to talk about wanting to go somewhere else if something is toxic if you're too big for the nest kind of thing like I was when I was 31 30 years old and I decided I was done with the small nest and I ended up moving out and I was the best damn thing in the world that I was able to discover things about myself like I can be patient I can be able to handle my anger. And then I found out about my orientation and stuff that I would get in s*** if I still was in the house that I was living in before because of the garden so he would have his if he had it his way he would have ruin everyone's lives. But instead my mother was safe in a nursing home away from the internet and my father was safe from the himself and moving or walking or wandering around at night a dangerous thing when you have dementia so I don't bother with the idea that you have to go and stay and live in at your own house. It's good to break it up sometimes and sometimes it's important to just talk about what he have to do or say or feel when you're with a friend or whatever I think that's what it is I am going to tell you what Eminem said I have the balls to say what y'all can't say in front of your friends. And that is kind of the truth I have the balls to say whatever you all can't say in front of your friends and that's I'm quoting Eminem because he says what needs to be sad and I say what needs to be said and that is the final f****** truth do I swear a lot yes but that's because I have to keep things the way it is authentic when I tell my story unless it's for children then I sugar cold but if it's not for children I don't sugar coat stuff. I started my book called Nature's social which is basically a kids book a trigger called it about nature and stuff do I say that there's spirits in the nature and that there's big foot and stuff no I don't say that but I just sugar coat it with cute social media post from either a dandelion or a tree or a squirrel or a bird I just started it a few minutes ago and it was the best thing I ever did it's called nature social. It was based on my old account near a BB and I believe that it is important to have some fun one writing as well as telling the truth but sometimes the fun is important too and to just sugar coats and things I don't usually sugarcoat stuff but that's beside the point. It's juvenile fiction so I have to actually say things in a cutie woochie and very important and nice way of saying things like sugar coating and being around the boards because these are kids they don't need to hear about what's going on in the real world they just want to read about a tree and a squirrel instant messaging each other a bird tweeting on Twitter and dandelions posting on my space or space hey. And that is basically what children want to read sometimes they want to read the scary stuff the stuff that isn't sugar coated but that's what it is that's how they deal with their own problems. Is through fiction and I only write fiction and sugar coated for children when I write fiction for adults I don't sugar coat it and if I write for adults or young adults I don't really cold half the stuff I say because it's not right to lie or tell the White Lies even though my mental health worker said you know a white lie doesn't kill anyone but to me it does because I been raised to be brutally honest. I'd rather hurt someone's feelings and saying well your shirt looks like a pain in the ass to me instead of saying hey nice shirt and then ruining my day and ruining the other person to say I have to say I got to be honest that's not a good t-shirt. I've been told that half the stuff I wear isn't good. Or doesn't look good on me those are not the ones that I'm throwing out those are the ones that I'm keeping cuz I want to offend the people that get ticked off with what I wear. Do I wear like a prostitute like very skimpy clothing and stuff no I just wear what I want to wear which is actual clothing not tube tops and skirts and stuff. So I end up writing about the importance of clothing now the clothing is very important to be classy and badass you would think this bad ass to be naked and nude in a picture was really the opposite a smile and a set of clothing on your back is very important and very badass to go around modeling or otherwise going around the town I don't suggest wearing skimpy outfits or revealing outfits or anything that's just wrong in my opinion. The only thing skanky that I wear are high heels and even at that that's about it. And I like my high heels because they make me feel girly instead of like a tomboy instead of that I end up wearing heels and I feel better about myself and I also wear makeup not too skanky either to wear makeup but it's just to make myself feel better about myself when people like Marcelo around and they ruin things for me. Yes I have mentioned this a hole so many times but that's because he has caused a lot of issues in my life. He was like the guy in Burkina Faso with my mother I toxic bastard person who is going to ruin everything. And when you're online and someone asks you to marry them that is kind of f****** strange that's basically the end of that topic is that yeah be very careful and if it looks fake or they ask you to marry them right away or something weird like that say no and piss off and stay off the internet for a few days until the person gets the hint that they're not really welcome. That's basically the end of that topic what other topics can I say is that I like to talk about things that are important to me and that are fun to talk about like creepy pasta and other stuff. I don't talk about stuff like blood and gas unless I'm writing about a serial killer and I happen to be doing so called the book called paper boats and that's just one book other than that unless it's gory it's creepy pasta that's about the size of it not crime and True Crime I don't like that stuff it drives me insane. True crime is very disturbing stuff except for one book that I've read which was bitter almonds bitter almonds was about the ETC tablet lacing of cyanide it wasn't as grossome as some of the other s*** that's out there that is about serial killers and stuff this was about a woman named Stella nickel who was more or less a serial killer inadvertently he was trying to kill her husband but I ended up killing through Cyanide and stuff and I shouldn't go and blow the book. It's probably going to Greg Olsen. If you ever am on at Amy then go and look for it. It's very interesting that's all I can say about the book I don't want to be a spoiler alert. And I what got me to write in the first place well as I said it was that Ian Fleming documentary and also the fact that I read so many books in my life. I am addicted to books they are my advice and Obsession other than coffee. They're very healthy addictions except for coffee can cause hypertension high blood pressure that's about the size of it with coffee and I can f*** with your sleep that's about the size of it what books can't unless you let them be and you read all night and then you end up saying God damn it in the morning I finish the book I take my time with my books and I nurse them and save her them. Currently I'm reading a very naughty book called the sex box it's very interesting to read to learn the different you know what practices of the planet. It's important to learn about these things because it's part of learning about different cultures and stuff and different people and how they interact with each other whether it be sexually or nonsexually. I used to read an author named Kelly Rowland I think her name was I don't know what JK I don't know what it was but she was a Korean American who wrote about Japanese society and how sexually deviant some of the people were like the Yakuza and stuff and the practices they use erotically it was very interesting Kelly J Rollin I think your name was. I know the name of the detector was Sano. That was about the size of what I remember of that book but I remember there was a lot of torture and sex and Gore in that book or books I should say and they were about the Tokugawa era. They were very interesting to see what the cultures were about Hanky Panky and other stuff but also that's why I read sex box and anise Nan and stuff like that because that is basically learning about the different cultural sexual practices of other cultures. Do I really want anyone to read these things well it depends on you but I wouldn't suggest reading about it on a daily basis unless it happens the book you're reading right now. If you're going to read in the erotica or erotic mystery like of the channel Mysteries and I would suggest that you would go and excuse my spelling again. But I suggest that you would go and be a speed reader so you don't have to read too much about it I read about this stuff when I was in high school and I was a little taken aback out first but then it was like okay it's just the way they used to do it in the old days or whatever so I don't really give a crud's ass about it anymore because I'm 33 years old and I have my own practices Auto romantic Auto sexual practices and that's fine with me would I write about my entire love life and everything else in between now but I would tell about kissing myself in the mirror or maybe feeling myself up that would be about it I wouldn't go into great great detail and say I had a touch whatever body part there was that's just the way I am I'm a classy lady. I don't say I had a touch my whatever there is down there use your imagination people. Instead I decided that I just say I feel myself up or I kiss myself in the mirror or that's about the size of it because I'm trying to be appropriate to other people. It's not like I'm Sylvia Day or El James who's going to be wall to wall sex when I end up writing about romance or anything there might be some action but that would be about it if I write romance but that's beside the point very rarely do I do that and the last time I ever was that raunchy was when I was writing about my past life into bat and that was basically educational thing for other people as well as the entertainment.