Sufi | book 3

My hopes and dreams

Turn off my hopes and the dreams for the world you know what they are that is that there's no terrorism in this world or war or anything that's gonna cause any human suffering but anyway here's my personal hopes and dreams and stuff and goals that make me tingly at night that make me tingly in the brain that is. One thing is is I'm a good writer or I think I'm a good writer and should be best-selling author one day why do I say that because I have so many things to talk about through fiction or non-fictional books in this case this is my my own memoirs sometimes I write fiction and I have to say what I have to say in the fiction as well. I don't sugarcoat anything and I am a good writer I don't say stupid stuff like freely little flowers and stuff and less it's part of a story. Anyways that's one thing I wanna be the best selling author because I've always wanted it to right and I've been very happy that I've been able to write these past three years since Covid started and I've been able to go and write up a storm starting with my autopsy and then starting off with that and then going towards other books in jars of music as well as stuff that is interesting and I'm also exploring different interests and stuff. I've always been a good artist particularly I wanted to be a tattoo artist for a long time that's something I've always wanted to do with being a tattoo artist. Another thing that I wanted to do as well as being a tattoo artist being a piercer. Decent piercer not trying to pierce myself anymore I've tried that before and that didn't really work out. That'll be the next chapter in the final chapter this is kind of a ha ha story and a kind of a stupid last and I had to learn but anyway I want to be a tattoo artist and if you're sure. And why would I want to be a tattoo artist in piercer because number one I like art number two I like tattoos and piercings and that's the way it is it's very one thing I've heard the Christians say many times that if you don't use your talents it's gonna be a sin for you not to use your talents even though I could be FBI or enemy I'd rather decide to be me as a medicalexaminer I decided I'd be good at what I'm actually good at in the first place and not what I should be doing with my life instead what I should be doing with my life I have developed the skills for since I was a young kid and start it up pretty soon I'll love gun tattoos for myself and other people all my tattoos over all four of them have been designed by me and drawn by me but that is that. And I continue to design or colour and more tattoos the way I want them to be. As far as a piercer is concerned I like body piercing I was good at it at one point but then I did something goofy but I still want to be a piercer but I would know enough not to go near the mouth of the technical areas. I know the best solution for any piercing is salt water and you have to change it every once in a while after it's healed so it doesn't get itchy and painful that's one thing I've learned I want a lot of things about how to take care of piercings and tattoos over the Internet and I was in a fascination of mine until I got Spanky this wearing water molecule then it became well say this an obsess.   I need a go things that I might want tattooed on me or I draw tattoos for other people I have build up the portfolio it just needs to be printed off for the artist to look at and then after that I do my own tattoos and I might even as much as design more other tattoos for other people. It's a way of saying that I'm in control of my pain and my trauma is a way of controlling and coping with my emotions. Am I a masochist no I just enjoy art is purest form which is tattoos piercings drawing painting writing. Those are the ones that got me interested in the first place in creativity and I believe I hope to be a very creative and wonderful person also a best selling author I said I was before that selling author because I am good at writing and I love reading books and I love me see the letters that make the word New York Times bestseller or something of that sign and I'd like to see my name under that Sufi Mustafa. So I just saw it I'm going to write and draw on people write on paper and draw on people and that is basically how it's going to be and decorate peoples faces that's what I want to do. I also like make up and stuff and might decide to be a make up artist as well both with a special facts and normal make up. Because I'm pretty damn good another hope for me used to be a semi pro model address and I amateur model. I think I reach that goal already but anyway I decide that I want to be a tattoo artist and a piercer and that's the final straw as well as a best-selling author. What will my stories be consisting of one of my tattoo artist probably my conversations with my clients even though they are supposed to be confidential I like to shoot the breeze and then write about them like in a pistol Larry Noble maybe that may happen I don't know. Either or I'm going to still be writing but I really on the stuff that I'm on even ground with. Will I be still an author one on my Mother's Day 66 years old I don't know yet I think so because I am pretty stubborn and strong enough to survive anything I've known that for a fact that I am very healthy enough not to do stupid stuff or to put in stupid stuff into my body like either cigarettes or some alcohol either way I don't do that stuff so I just I think I'll make it to a ripe old age. Still tattooing people and still even as much as writing books. Will I still be doing the warranty's yes I might still be if technology is still around at the time but that is basically yes is that I'll be writing e-books and books I don't really like e-books I like more like the lines of online Noel online rock spa physical books in Stade that are actually made out of paper. That's the only time I like paper usually I say the paper is just a meaningless thing do you write on drawn or something but I end up writing about mine problems in my six asses and I also write about stuff about life in general. I decided I was going to be enjoying my life and writing about how I enjoy life and even how sometimes sometimes I can be a pain in the ass sometimes life can be. But it can't be as big of an ass as the Grim Reaper so I'm trying to jam in as much things as much as possible in case I end up like yours truly's mother. Because you never know when he might get hit by a bus or something so I want to cram in all my hopes and dreams will I be an FBI agent or a medical examiner I don't think so that was her to hurry up with dreams but I know one Hyatt dream that I can do is climb mount Everest to make people aware of PTSD but then I'm doing this very damn same thing with writing this right now making people know that different people are not serial killers or evil or anything by that matters if they're just unique human beings so I don't think I will be climbing Mount Everest but I still read mountaineering boxing on the last and works on combat and stuff because well it's in my DNA. I have no hopes of marrying anyone else except for myself I have no hopes of having children while I'm because I don't wanna have children and I don't wanna marry anyone else is going to cause me any drama. And we were in my life people you know I wanna be worshipped and kissed asked that's what I don't like so I decide that I'm not gonna bother with that crap that I'm just going to let me be with me and enjoy my life as simply as possible and enjoy the fact that I'm going to be a tattoo artist and a writer and have time for that only as well as eating and taking a bath. That's my life is turning a shit show and/or clean show a beautiful soul instead of a complete shit show it's important not to feel sorry for yourself and that's why I set goals for myself fun goals like being a tattoo artist a piercer author artist writer musician rapper these are my reasons why I do these things even in the day I try to plan things for me to do. When I go to my brother I always go with a goal that every day there is a goal to you like go to the market go to the bookstore or gold here or go there or do this or that during each day I'm with him and that's the same thing when I'm at my group home I try to plan things for myself go here go there do this do that that's what I do.
But I don't think that you should be doing a 9 to 5 if you're especially gifted wake me at 9 to 5 is not really good for it might be good for people like my mother who are average intelligence and below average intelligence but I am not a 9-to-5 grind person I am I'll do what I wanna do when I want to do it how I want to do a type person and that's all I will do for my life is you and pursue my passion is our my days goals for the day for that reason that is why I don't want your 9 to 5 job it sucks donkey butt.   As much as my mother had a wonderful job it wasn't the job that I wouldn't consume having working for the government or working for an office or a firm or anything by that matter instead I'd rather do what I actually enjoy doing learning how to tattoo learning how that peers doing this doing that that's creative and making money off of that as a side effect of my actions. I don't think that you can do the 9 to 4 I think that was a great sin in all religions evening a season as well because why you should give me using your talents that were given to you in the first place and your coping mechanisms that you the drive your passion in the first place you should not be going around doing menial work. Unless you're good with me and you'll work with my mother was I don't suggest doing it for a living if you're creative and gifted you're supposed to use your gifts and use them in the fall and vantage that is why the creator of the universe has gave us special talents either if you're a dancer a tattoo artist a swinger on whatever pursue that instead of a 9-to-5 job if he even if you miss a meal fine that's the size of it because that's how it should be you should not be eating three times a day and doing a 9-to-5 grind unless there's something you got out. Instead enjoy what you do enjoy your job. My hope is not to do 9 to 5 bullshit instead is to do what I've been morning to do and trying to enjoy my life as it is. So I decide that I'm not going to go to 9-to-5 work or government work or financial work it's just a waste of time for me and that is the truth because I'd rather be creating and making artwork for either on a person or on paper that's just the size of it and I'd rather be writing as well instead of having to be writing up a report on finances instead I would rather ride up on my adventures with my what do you call it fictional stories that's basically the size of it as well so there and of story