Sufi | book 3

applying for McDonald's

About the round this time last year I ended up trying to apply for a job on my phone for a McDonald's position in McDonald's because I wanted to get tattoos and I never heard from them because I mentioned that I had PTSD. Then I decided it dawned on me that they do not like people with mental illness or mental disabilities and the McDonald's Fleet or McDonald's ranks so I was never given the job I tried again and same thing nothing happened. And I was like what the hell is going on I need money. Pretty soon I ended up having to go to learn how to clean at a house called Bader's house Vader's house is where they do Day program and I end up going to do the house like cleaning the house from top to bottom left to right north to south east or west kind of thing until is spic and span and it is a very good workout but it pays much more money but I still I want another job so I can continue getting more tattoos. Is getting annoying that I cannot have as much money as I want so I have to get another job or we mentioning that one day to somebody that I'm going to need another job just to cover tattoo costs. Not that my tattoos are elaborate or devastatingly expensive except for the Jupiter that was $300. The first one I got Spanky the swearing water molecule was $180 and that was like 20 bucks compared to 300 bucks. Sorry I learned how to handle money to handle it as a Rarity as well like you don't usually see it very often so you might as well hold it if you can and not spend it on stupid stuff. That's why I have a bag of Horrors as I call them where I stuff the money into the bag and the side I'm going to get the tattoo or in this case since I do on my guitar and I think I mentioned there so I'm getting a new guitar then after that I'm going to go straight for the jugular as far as tattoos are concerned. I don't like saving money but it's actually worth the time and wait when you get the tattoo. You going to wonder water tattoos hurt or do they do hurt. My answer is that they don't hurt even in the sensitive areas I pinched myself in the sensitive areas in the tattoo industry still no pain because why I have very thick skin genetically and I am mostly allowing myself to take the pain acknowledge it and breathe through it just like I would with a temper tantrum so that's why I don't really say very much but I do talk to the artist and tell them what who I am and what I like and stuff like that and that I'm also an artist as well. You're going to wonder what my hopes and dreams are nowadays when I was younger it was forensic pathology friends of science or FBI agent. Now it's just me to be a tattoo artist and best selling author. Those are my aspirations in life and maybe a rapper Small Time rapper that's what I think I want to do with my life. I don't really want an extravagant life I just want a simple life and a simple thing the only thing is extravagant if this book series flies off the shelves that these will stymie my trip to Everest Base Camp so I can actually not Croak on the damn Mountain. So I decided to write these stories about my life to tell you what people with PTSD or people who are Auto romantic sexual or just whatever they are human beings. As I said there's only one orientation that's love there's only one religion that's love there's only one race with human and there's no politics in my opinion because that's the supply of shit.
I don't bother very much with religion or politics is the most dangerous stuff you can talk about. I don't even bother with covid-19 anymore I like learning about the scientific aspects of covid-19 but do I really care about the prime minister of fucking up the country and screwing up everything else in between and making this pandemic last longer than it already had to no I am not. In fact I am not interested in that for one goddamn second.
I think religion and politics cause PTSD as you can tell by my childhood passed. I have come over and complex. Sometimes I use extreme language and get really upset and make things worse sometimes I have to learn mindfulness and I have to try to be spiritual about things instead of religious or political I don't believe in that religion or politics that's just a pile of dong. There is only one political thing I enjoyed reading and that was the Romance of the Three Kingdoms that was the best fucking book I ever had read or book series I should say. Anything about China as much as the ancient China is concerned has been relegated to immediate favorites in my books be it the Three Kingdoms or anything else that's Chinese oriented or Chinese from ancient China literature I enjoy it very much so I remember buying a thick thick book about the literature of the Han Dynasty. I have a past life in the Hond Dynasty as a uighur princess that's why I was able to catch on to the actual language is no different from kazak only they say salaam alaikum and the kazx say Salim or Salem. I like languages a lot they're very interesting and I can run circles around the game waited people or the westerners as I've had saying how how you cannot freaking assimilate me kind of thing that's why I do that in the first place. Also I was interested in languages because I was also discovered french when I was in kindergarten. But I never got friends really correctly and my parents thought I was never going to get the languages but it turned out it was going to come up anyway sooner or later the languages the linguistics my first language that I learned other than English was Japanese then some Tibetan dizonka and Weaver as well as kazak. Excuse my spelling for this I'm still using the microphone. I ended up fall in love with Asia before I knew that I was Asian. I know even some Farsi Haley my moon means thank you Nan come boom means no I'm not doing well and thank you. I even pen pal I used to pen pal on Facebook but my Facebook got deleted one day and had to create another one and I lost all my pen pals:-( which was pretty sickening for me to go through. Someone and I think it was bread to be Lord who was also going around reporting me on Facebook and saying that I have fake accounts and stuff one really I don't have a fake account I just happen to have many accounts because there are assholes all over the goddamn place. In Japanese you can say kono yaro which means assholes or assholes in Japanese. My mother thought that the first word I'd learn in the any language would be the f word but instead I learned other different words before the f word was put into play I only know how to use the f word in French. Other than that I don't really swear another language is because I'm trying to switch languages from English to the languages I'm learning. Because I want to keep my dying cultures alive before they get whispered away into nothingness. The Tibetans are a dying race I think and I have to keep their culture alive by expanding my ears even though I split one of your lobe. But do I really care about that you don't know because actually it makes me look a lot more unique and I don't go around having to go to plastic surgery when something doesn't have to kill me. Now if it was going to kill me or it was a tumor or something I would go for the plastic surgery. I don't want you to get me started on fucking plastic surgery.
To me plastic surgery is nothing but a pain in my butt to deal with the only plastic surgery I'm getting is the wisdom teeth taken out and that has more Dental cosmetic. anything else I don't do. I find that if you go to a actual plastic surgeon you feel inadequate about yourself and you don't feel good about yourself and you feel like you have to change yourself drastically in order to feel better about yourself when really a tattoo or piercing can really do fucking wanders instead. I think tattoos and piercings are a lot easier to deal with than plastic surgery plastic surgery number one cost too much money and it can be addicting to some people who are obsessed about their looks not as Auto Romantics but as a narcissist and perfectionist who see oh my God I broke her now kind of shit.
Do I believe in the practice no I don't because it's saying that everyone has to be perfect everyone has to look the goddamn same and everything else when really it's not that case I have three lobes one was split through a gauging accident or expanding accident and frankly I don't really give a damn because it's not killing me now if it was killing me yes remove it or reverse it but if it wasn't killing me in this case it isn't then I don't want to hear about all you got an ugly ear or you should get plastic surgery or there's an option for plastic surgery one really I'm just trying to live a life trying to be decent. I believe the beauty is on the inside and you be creative with it on the outside and that's basically that you customize your own body through tattoos and piercings that's about it I don't believe in cutting yourself up because you need to feel good about yourself when a tattoo can do just wonders. But if you are dying from a tumor this blocking something or if you are a burn victim sure I can see a plastic surgeon being needed but other than that I don't really give a damn about them the plastic surgeons as is that you find they are nothing more than vultures on people's low self-esteem. On mine is pretty good I did have self-esteem issues when I was a kid but it did not cause me to seek the attention of a plastic surgeon mostly my bullying was caused by my PTSD and my orientation I believe everyone can sense that I was different in all aspects. And I was considered a heathen in the Catholic School System that's why I was more or less failed by it. It's not fun to say that but that's what it was my parents try to fight to keep me in when they should have fought to get me in the public school system which would have been a lot easier on me they don't take bullying with kindness what has the Catholic School System their vicious it's like prison Doggy Dog you have to fight to survive one day. I told you that I ended up having to read law books in the library because I was more or less being bullied to death by Alex to free I think it was compliments of her. So I decided I told my mom and she said you're not going back to recess this is how you're going to read at the library and you're going to be there for quite some time and I said that's fine with me and I read the law books and the FBI books and the other shit that I enjoyed at the time.
There was another bully woolly woo Who was really bad to her name was Jennifer Vashon Jennifer Vashon was calling me retarded and spaz out as well. She threatened to kill me she threatened to make me look like I was anorexic nervosa as well as made me look like I was suicidal which kind of planted a B in my Bonnet which wasn't too good later on in my life. As I said that was a God damn waste of time energy and calories and sleep that I missed one day or night actually because of the one stupid stunt I pulled that I wish I didn't have to do again but I wouldn't do it again if I had to do everything all over again that self-injurious act would be something I would not do ever again because it wasn't worth jack shit.
At any point when you have to wait in the waiting room in emergency you're wasting precious calories you're wasting precious energy and time even maybe even sleep depending on one the stupidity has happened. I believe that the hospital is for people who just have bad days will it be physical or mental. I despise the hospital I gave it two thumbs down because it was God awful I'll tell you one story that I am a little embarrassed to tell but I'm going to have to say this anyway. Involved a push pen and an earring and a Medusa piercing.
Let's just say I had to spend the whole freaking day and emergency and had to take out all my piercings not that they were doing me any good favors what is it aesthetic wise they are just there because they were I put them there because they were there in the first place but besides the point I wouldn't do it again unless it's by a professional and as I said I would get my Monroe my septum and my nose nostril done as well that would be it and all. That's one of my aspirations are those but other than that that small potatoes compared to Career or otherwise. I have a lot of goals in life and a lot of Happiness going on and a lot of goals that are I'm trying to achieve. That's why I have a picture of ganache on my wall parallel to my bed where I end up noticing the destroyer of obstacles as he's more or less called in Hindu mythology. You're wondering what got me into Hindu mythology was that someone said that they read like romance novels and I said that's interesting and I gave it a Cracker Jack and I got very interested real quickly. I can't remember all the guys and all those Krishna ganache and some other ones. And I also try to learn about the Tibetan Buddhist gods and goddesses but only one as far as Quan Yin Quan Ian is badass she is about Justice and compassion that's why when you have something go wrong or someone wrong to use it many pad me. And that's basically the size of it right there. There have been comments that quanian was badass that she was the original Lady Justice and that she was Karma as well. So you don't want to piss her off she can be very kind and compassionate she tries to show Enlightenment by being compassionate and stuff but the justice for you don't want to piss her off. I am a quanian interest or a fan I should say quanian fan excuse me for a misspelling or gang name. I ended up want to learn more about the Tibetan with all you in tibetan closer which is basically my culture and my lifestyle that I should be living and had my ancestors not left Asia. I was hoping to go to Asia one day but my parents always wanted to go to freaking Europe something I didn't know I didn't really very much. I was thinking I can see the exact same thing in Canada or the us or in my backyard and not have to worry about anything it was very boring and I was even churched out meaning if I saw another church I was going to scream. And that was a goddamn truth right there I'm sorry to say that but that is what it is if you're a religious person ignore that part but I just don't like churches. They have had been a similar bad experiences for me rather be school Mass or otherwise it was just God awful to deal with. And the same thing with the ruins and Greece when I was a kid I went to Greece with my parents my parents enjoyed the damn ruins did I no I just saw a pile of damn stones in my opinion I didn't see very much there was entertaining. So and that's the same thing with Europe and I even remember me and my mother were trying to find a goddamn t-shirt for me I can't remember the city but it was the Spanish place and you're up and I was trying to get a T-shirt and we ended up in the red light district and end up with sex shops and seeing sex toys and other undesirable things I was wondering what the hell was going on and I was like I can't believe my damn eyes my Virgin Eyes at the time. They're still version to this day I do read eroticas from time to time but that's not visual that's written and that's just the way it is I don't see you guys you know what in a girl's cat. Unless it's her pet cat. But unless there's no writing I don't read it in other words if it's going to be anatomical and stuff in trashy I'm not going to read it. I am reading something called the sex box which is a three Box about sex eroticas one is called sex one is called woman one is called man you can read them with your lover or read them with yourself in this case my lover is myself. I only have eyes for me. But I just read the book for a good kick in the ass laugh for a good kick in the ass entertainment is very tasteful and very presented very well unlike Fifty Shades and stuff the last time I read something like this it was so delicately written was Anna's men's Delta of Venus little birds and Sylvia Day and her works as well. Do I really enjoy going about reading erotica all the time now but I read them from time to time whenever I'm bored I have this thing on gud reads which has the Xbox and I put that in my book challenge to read my books I selected six books for my yearly challenge I'm not illiterate again or else I would be on warp pad. So let's just believe it or not and accept it. I'm literate f*** you to the Ontario government for Branding me as illiterate when I can actually do whatever the hell I want I wasn't illiterate to begin with I just didn't understand the damn test none of the girls understood the test but the guys did go figure all those girls failed and all the boys won and passed which was like what the hell and go figure. I guess it's because the guys watch or read their smart when they're having a dump in the bathroom do I believe in dirty magazines like smuddy magazines and stuff that's not good and smuddy videos no I don't think so but I think is if it is beautifully and Tastefully put together and presented and written instead of as a big trash Heap then that is what I'll read as far as erotica is concerned so sex box is my favorite set of books. I've tried to write erotic romances before involving two people but now it's just going to be involved in one person as an auto romantic Auto sexual. There been many times I've been blocked on drafty digital because I have written Auto romantic sex fantasies about myself I still have those fantasies but I don't like them down as much. Why because every time I do I would be in big trouble with whatever platform on particular particularly be aim or rafty digital. Either way I've been in trouble for over sexualizing my stories. Even the auto romantic stories have been Auto deleted as well. This is just mature themes. And I believe that my mother didn't want me to read the book Delta Venus why I don't know why but he had it in for me to read that book. She said well you don't want to be touched that way well yeah well I want to be touched that way by myself not by some ass hole that basically the difference between wanting to be touched by a person or touched by yourself. Now I remember why when I was in grade 8 when someone was crashing on me and trying to touch me in areas that well I didn't enjoy being touched then they decided they were going to be my boyfriend and I tried everything in my power Taekwondo swearing and other stuff too say to the person get the fuck out of my side before I rock you kind of thing because and I didn't see this as a sign of being Auto romantic it was just me being a late bloomer but besides the point found out in January when I was I'll tell you that story first and then it gets to the best part after that.