The Printer Chronicles

Story 8 (VERY SPOOKY)

The first time it happened, I thought I was seeing things.

I had just stepped out of the shower, my hair still wet and my skin still damp, when I noticed the fucking printer in the bathtub.

It was an old, battered thing that my fucking dickhead brother had left behind when he moved out, it smelled like shit and I had never liked it. But now, it was printing out porn.

I stared at it for a moment, disbelieving, before shaking my head and stalking out of the bathroom. I didn't want to deal with that right then.

But the dumbass fucking printer kept printing, and the sound of it was loud in the small bathroom.I ignored it for as long as I could, but eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I stomped back into the bathroom, wrapped a towel around myself, and yanked the printer out of the bathtub.

It was still printing, and the stack of paper in the bath water was growing.I shook the printer, trying to stop it, but it kept going. I swore, loudly and fluently, and threw it across the fucking room. It hit the wall with a crash and fell to the floor, still printing.

I glared at it, my hands on my hips, and considered my options. I could unplug it, but that seemed like too much work - until I realized that it wasn't even plugged in. This printer was magic or some shit - maybe that explains why it smells so bad. I could keep throwing it, but it wasn't doing any good. I could take it outside and throw it off the roof, but that seemed like overkill.

I compromised by lugging it out to the garbage chute and shoving it in. I could hear it printing all the way down, and I smiled in satisfaction as I walked back to my apartment.The printer was gone, but the reprinted porn was still there. I gathered it up, feeling a little disgusted, and tossed it in the trash.

I figured that was the end of that, but I was wrong.

The next day, the fucking asshole printer was back.

It was in the bathtub again, and it was printing porn. I swore, loudly and fluently, and yanked it out of the tub. I threw it, but it just kept printing.I was getting really sick of this.I unplugged it this time, and carried it out to the garbage chute.

I shoved it in, harder than before, and smiled as I heard it crash at the bottom.The printer was gone, but the porn was still there. I sighed, gathered it up, and tossed it in the trash. I was starting to feel a little bit creeped out.

The next day, the printer was back.This time, I didn't even bother trying to stop it. I just wrapped it in a trash bag, carried it out to the roof, and threw it over the edge. I watched it tumble end over end until it hit the ground with a satisfying thump.

The printer was gone, and this time the porn was gone too. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to my apartment.

I thought that was the end of it, but I was wrong.

The next day, the fucking printer was back again...