Kickin' it old school season 2

The truth behind the lies

Every day was just like the last for the next couple of weeks. I would lay in bed for hours even when I wasn't sleeping. But sometimes I would pretend so that no one would bother me. Or I'd sit in a corner of my room with the lights off but not so dark that I would be scared. My brother would leave my meals on my nightstand. He'd tried to talk to me and tell me how much he loved me. And of course I'd tell him I loved him as well. Even when my heart felt shattered and I felt broken somehow it didn't make me feel good not to tell him that I loved him. After all he was still my big brother. And he was still a child. All he had done was do what I had asked. How could I fault him on that? Had I been projecting? My brother and his friends were always so nice to me. Even Kayla.

He felt what he had done was right. No Jack no comparison. But at the same time no one to save me no one but myself. Something I'd done my whole life. Or just sitting and taking it. What did I want to be when I grew up they had asked me? My big brother I'd said. Had I been maybe mom would've treated me differently. She wouldn't had blamed me for our father's death. Was I being unfair? I was hurt! He had left me when we were younger and I came to find him. I forgave him right away. He promised he wouldn't leave me. So why had he? Why did he listen when we told him to leave me alone? To give me space? Maybe that wasn't the problem. Yes I would've needed a little space. But not that much. Being alone was all I knew.

Comfort was new. Smiling laughing. Trusting. Being taken care of. It was all new to me. Friends and family that care about me. would he had come looking for me had I not went looking for him? Would he had waited till he could do something about it legally? Or wait till he was 18? When was the last time before he'd even thought of me? Why couldn't he take me with him? Why did he just up and leave? We could've gone off together. We would've both been safe. What had made me want to go to her in the first place? Everything was coming a part around me. And when things come apart I've learned that it's my fault. If he'd come to check on me every once in a while or someone had come up to give me meals. Yet somehow everything my fault. Everyone needed someone to blame. I guess I felt it was time for it to be someone else. Jack promised we would all stay together. That we would all have each other.

No one stayed in contact and everyone last track of time. Jack went back to reality when he was told it had been 3 months since last he'd seen me. And in denial when he went looking for me when grandpa said I hadn't been there. Had it been within my right to be mad at him? To not want to talk to him after he promised never to leave me?! I haven't been fair to you. I mumbled at him the next time he came to my room. What? What do you mean? You had only done what I'd asked of you. I think I just wanted the blame to fall on someone else for a chance. I didn't want it to be mine anymore. No it's ok when it started you had every right to be angry at me for leaving because you're right I did that I left I shouldn't had I should've taken you with me. I was a coward and I left. But I thought of you every day. When the best time to go back and get you was. Whether to just find away to steal you and kidnap you which probably would've caused more problems than it was worth. Or figure out a more legal way of doing it.

But there was never a good time. I was settling in with grandpa and and learning from him. Beating myself up about how I never should've left you in the first place. I fully regret that. But eventually you came and found me anyways. And then all of this happened. And it was a long time coming. You let me off the hook too happy to see me and so relieved. I knew this had to be coming at some point. I just didn't think it would be this bad or when she took you back when you tried to help us raise money for our basketball team. You're allowed to be selfish every once in a while. You didn't do anything wrong. IDK why you went to go find mom. You were probably just scared of losing us. And that's all on me. The truth is it is my fault. I will take the blame for this not you. I told our team we would stay in contact that we didn't need the dojo to be together. I should've kept my promise. But time flew by so fast and I had no idea how much time had passed. We all started doing our own thing. And unintentionally I broke my promise.