Strangers To More

once again

CW: mentions of SA

Eddie's POV.

I wake up and see the familiar house I've already been in.

Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck. Did he really drive me to his house again? Did I od? Again?

I jump out of bed, stumbling in the process. I'm only with jeans and a binder. Oh shit. He saw it. Does he know? Did he understand? I need to get out of this thing as soon as possible, because I've already been with it for over sixteen hours.

"Eddie!?" I hear a voice from downstairs "Are you awake?" "Yes! I'm okay!" I shout back.

I feel so embarrassed. This is the second time this happened. He probably just sees me as some junkie. Which I am. But I don't want for him to only think of me as a stoner.

"You sure?" He is now climbing the stairs. "Yep, yep, no, I'm okay. Totally, totally okay." I reply with a deep sigh.

My chest is aching. My heart's racing. Does he know?

Steve walks in through the door. "You didn't really seem okay. Did you overdose? Again?" "I- I- Um." I don't know what to say. Should I tell the truth, would he believe me if I said that I'm just sick?

"I don't know. I'm sorry" I end up saying. "I'm so sorry." And I am. I am so sorry, so sick of myself. I always ruin everything. No matter what. Platonic, romantic. I end up saying or doing the wrong thing and ruin it.

Tears start spilling down my cheeks. I hide my face. Don't be a dissapontment. You're the one in the wrong, why are you crying? You ruined what you two had. It's all over. He's not going to love you anymore. He's going to beat you, to touch you, just like they did. And you deserve that. Men don't cry.

"No, why are you apologising? It's okay, hey it's okay. Trust me it's okay." He extends his hands and walks towards me and wraps his arms around me. I want to return the hug, I don't want him to be awkward. But I can't. This reminds me too much of them.

I don't move, sobbing like a child I continue to repeat the apologies under my breath. "Hey. It's okay." He hugs me slowly. His touch is warm and soft.
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Steve's POV.

After a few minutes of silence I let go. "What happened? Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?"

Eddie tries to inhale a long breath, but it looks like his lungs hurt or something. His face all scrunched up from pain. "Are you hurt?" I touch his bandages but he quickly moves away.

"No, no I'm alright." "You're clearly not okay, you've got bandages on, what happened? Do I need to change them?" "No, no. Don't worry about it. I'm okay." "No you're not. You need to lay down. I'll change the bandages, I've got some antiseptic in the bathroom."

He looks terrified. "What? No. No! You can't, I need to go." He looks around trying to find his clothes. "You can't drive while you're in this condition. Also your car is at the school. I'll at least drive you." "No, I'll walk. I'm alright." "No!" My voice is loud. "You are not driving. You either let me change the bandages or I'm driving you home."

He looks sad. I can't understand why. I'm trying to be nice. I'm trying to help him.

"Okay" his voice is trembling and quiet. "You can drive me home." "Okay, take your clothes and I'll go turn the car on." I turn on my heal and walk down the steps.
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Eddie's POV.

He drops me off at my trailer park and I wave goodbye. He turns the car around and drives off.

I rush to get into my trailer and as soon as I unlock the door I run to the bathroom and take of the binder. I feel relief wash over me, but soon it turns into disgust. Disgust for my own body. I can't even look at it, because I know I'll break down. I go to my bed and drop face down.

God I am such a looser.