Strangers To More

Surgeries

!!TW!! Drug use, suicide.

Eddie's POV.

I open my eyes and groan disappointingly. How many drugs do I have to take to finally die? My organism is becoming immune to them or what? I can't even overdose. This time it was morphine and despite me being high already when I took it, and drinking a shit ton of alcohol afterwards all I managed to do is get really fucking sick.

I lay on my stomach for some time refusing to get up and accept the fact that I'm still alive. At the same time wondering, should I go to school or not? I'm not in the right state to, but I do deserve a good beating for being such a fool and thinking that a guy like Steve Harrington could actually like me. How could anyone like ME? I'm a weird ass freak, plus an addict.

Okay. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just get your ass up and go to school, it's not that fucking hard." I mumble after fifteen minutes of laying in my bed. I get up with a throbbing head and notice that I'm not even late to school yet and I have half an hour.

"I feel pathetic. I can't even kill myself. Maybe the jocks will succeed at something I can't. Everyone is always better than me, I can never be the best at something, so maybe they'll be better at this too. " I talk to myself putting on a binder. I still can't afford top surgery. And I do not know why I decided to get bottom surgery first, but again, I am really sexually active, so I guess that sounds like a pretty good reason. Right now I'm saving again, cause I just can't handle the dysphoria. At least Steve didn't realise that I'm trans. Who knows what he could've done to me then. I've done enough damage by coming out to people so I'm sure as hell not gonna do that again. Even my parents stopped giving a shit, of course they weren't the best before, but after...

Wayne is the only member in my family who's not transphobic or homophobic. That's why I live with him. No one else wanted to take me in and I'm kind of glad they didn't, but now I have to be a burden to the only person who was ever kind to me. Wayne supports my decisions like no one else, he wasn't even mad at me when I started to use testosterone illegally, he's just happy I feel a little better now.

I snapped out of my thoughts after getting ready, then grabbed my stuff and and slowly went to my car.

"What will happen to me? Everyone probably knows I'm a fag by now, so there won't even be a few guys who'll want to get me. The whole school will hunt me down." I thought lighting a joint. Drugs are the only thing that keep me alive at this point. It numbs my brain and just for a while I feel a little better. It takes two rolls to finally calm down and prepare myself to turn into the school's driveway.
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I drive into the territory seeing a ton of people. I spot Jason in the crowd and drive past him knowing he'll recognize my car. Parking in a corner I look out the window and see him walking towards me. I lock the car doors and step infront of it patiently waiting for the jocks.
-Look who finally showed up!- Jason shouted; Isn't it the Mr. Faggot?
People start laughing.
-It is, Jason.
His eyes opened wide. He wasn't planning on me coming out to half a school.
-Wow! So brave of you to admit it yourself. I really thought we'll have to beat you to a pulp before you would.
-Well Jason, everyone knows you are a coward, but that does not mean I am.- I reply calmly. His smile dropped.
-Did you just call me a coward?- He asked through his clenched teeth.
-I did.- At this point I don't give a shit, I always care so much. And for what? So that people don't judge me? What's the point? They do it either way. Jason is getting dangerously close to me, but I don't move an inch.
-Munson!- I hear a voice behind me.