Strangers To More

dysphoria

Eddie's POV.

Why can't I be normal. Why couldn't off have I been born a boy? Everything would be much easier. Maybe I'd still be living with my parents and not in this shithole. Maybe I'd be popular and straight. Why can't J just be normal.
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It's 1 pm, Saturday, no school today. I just woke up, I'm drowsy and hungover. I roll onto the other side my stomach aching. I can't hear the TV from the other room, Wayne must be away on business.

Standing up I reach for my backpack and pull out some weed. Rolling a joint I start to wonder what happened to me the other day. I didn't overdose, didn't drink too much, it couldn't off have been because of the binder, I've worn it a lot longer than this in the past. Could it really have been because of stress.

Phone rings. I wonder who could that be, but still get my ass of the bed and slowly start walking towards the kitchen.
"Hello?" I ask quietly. "Eddie?" I hear a familiar voice on the other side of the line. "Yeah, why are you calling and how did you get my number?" "Well I asked Dustin to give it to me, I tried calling before but no one picked up, just wanted to see if you're okay." My face instantly lit up. "Yes, sure I'm fine!" "Man you didn't look fine, those bandages we're pretty nasty." "No, no, I'm okay now." I reply flustered. "Hey, look. I was thinking, we didn't get to hang the other day, so why don't we meet up today? If you're down." There's a short silence. "Yea, sure man, why not. When?" "I can pick you up half an hour later if that's alright with you." "Yes, of course. I'm waiting." After finishing the sentence I rapidly hung up the phone. Oh my god, oh my god. He called me. He was worried about me. He wants to hang out!

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It's been about 20 minutes and I'm running around my house trying to find a good jumper. My dysphoria is unworldly today and I can't help but feel like shit.

"Oh *****! You know you'll never be a real boy! Stop this nonsense. You are a girl and you will always be."
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"Girl!"           "*****"       

"You'll never be a boy!"           "She"

     "Her"              "Lunatic"

       "Why can't you just behave like a lady!?"
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The voices continue screaming at me until I hear a knock at the door. I run to open it and see Steve all smiling. "Hello." I greet him with a wide smile. "Can you wait a little, I gotta go get my things." I say as if I didn't just spend almost 30 minutes running around my house trying to get ready. "Sure no problem." He replies and I run off into my bedroom.

A/N (this one's really short, but I'll try to update in the morning. I've been really busy lately and didn't write as much as before (also I wrote like 500 words yesterday but it just dissapeard). To all the pussies out there complaining about Eddie being trans or anything I write here, just don't fucking read ;) )