FORBIDDEN LOVE || JIKOOK ✅

24

JUNGKOOK POV

I layin bed the next morning, my face smashed in the pillow.

After a lot of yelling and hurt feelings the night before, I'd barely been able to sleep and I struggled to work up the motivation to face the day and the mess I had made.

Guk left the condo early.

It reminded me of growing up.

I always knew I had really pissed him off when he drove to school without giving me a ride.

And the message this time was loud and clear.

He was hurt.

Betrayed.

And I couldn't blame him.

It would have been one thing if Jimin and I told him ourselves what was happening but to find out like that was so much worse.

I tightened my hands into fists.

I'd been beating myself up all night and worrying over what it all would mean.

He hadn't demanded that I move out but I didn't feel great staying there and taking advantage of his hospitality, either.

Even though I'd saved up enough from the job that I could afford a deposit on my own place, I worried he would banish me from the office, too and I'd be back to square one and unable to support myself.

Most of all though, I just wanted to run to Jimin.

Doing that felt forbidden all over again, like seeking comfort from him would be a new way to betray my brother.

But Jimin was the only other person who truly understood the situation I was in and I was finally accepting what the feelings I had for him meant.

I was in love with Park Jimin.

It was a new love, a love that was still growing but it was love.

And that love was the one thing I could hold onto.

I wanted to grasp for it and pull Jimin close, even as I feared he would turn away from me now.

Finally, I dragged myself out of bed.

Jimin's door was closed when I passed and I wanted to press my ear to the wood and listen to his breathing but I didn't let myself.

Instead, I headed straight for the shower.

I kicked off my clothes and turned the heat up high, filling the little room with steam as I tried to wash the guilt and pain away.

Jimin's razor sat on a small shelf, right beside his body wash.

Lately, I'd been indulging and sniffing the piney scent when I showered but I stopped myself this time.

When I got out to brush my teeth and shave, my eyes caught on the styling paste he used every day and his comb, left out on the edge of the sink.

I touched the comb. How bad was this going to be?

Everything was at risk, including my relationship with my brother and the man I now loved.

If only I could go back in time and tell myself to talk to Guk earlier, to respect him enough to tell him the truth.

I dried off and pulled my shorts back on, cut from an old pair of gray sweatpants.

I had the day off from the office, and my intention was to start studying to get in the habit again but after the explosive argument, concentration felt impossible.