The Name Is Spider-Man

Chapter 2 Deadpool

"Is that all you got Elsa?" Peter asked as he jumped out of the way of another ice blast. The villain snarled clearly enraged they couldn't hit him and possibly because of his jokes. Peter liked to annoy his opponents with jokes and quips it made them mad then they could slip up making it easier for him to capture them.

"Would you quit talking you annoying bug! I'm going to crush you." The villain yelled. Peter once again dodged another blast he shot a web sticking their arm to a building.

"No can do Jack Frost you should just let you're grudge against me go. You get it it let it go?" Peter said he chuckled at his own joke. The villain said something about wanting to be arrested so they didn't have to hear his lame jokes anymore. "My jokes are hilarious thank you very much." Peter said he left a note on the villain's head telling the police that they needed to pick her up before leaving.

Peter swung his way back towards his apartment. He was about to land on his roof whenever he heard his police radio go off in his pocket. "Huh, what now." Peter said annoyed. He liked saving people but it got annoying whenever he wanted to just crash and sleep.

"A crazy man clad in a red and black spandex suit is terrorizing people in downtown Manhattan that's new." Peter said repeating what he'd learned from listening to the police radio. He swung as fast as he could towards where he had heard the man was.

Peter landed right in front of the police cars that were surrounding the area. They were yelling at a man to put down his weapons. He did indeed look crazy plus was wearing red and black spandex. "Looks like you're our culprit." Peter said he examined the costume he was wearing it looked vaguely similar to his.

"Hey, buddy why are you disturbing the peace? Don't you know the party for crazy Halloween parties is down the street?" Peter said he heard some of the police officers behind him groan. The masked man's eyes widened and he blinked several times like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What I got something in my teeth or something?" Peter asked jokingly wondering why the man was staring at him.

"Oh my goodness are you Spidey?" The man asked he put his hands on his face the eyed of his mask widening comically.

"Uh, yes?" Peter asked confused why the man was asking.

"You're like my number one hero! I have a Spidey backpack, all the funko pops, the movies with Tobey Maguire are the best ones that's not a option but a fact. He's a real cutie-" The man rambled on Peter only caught and processed about half of what he said.

"Yeah, that's great whatever you're name. But why are you terrorizing innocent people? On a Tuesday night none the less." Peter grumbled the last part knowing he definitely was going to be tired tomorrow. Which meant most likely missing or sleeping through a class. That would not help his slipping grades go up.

"Oh, how rude of me the names Pool. Dead. But since you're a real special guy Spideybabe you can call me Wade Wilson." Wade said he grabbed a hold of Peter's hand shaking it vigorously.

"You still didn't answer my question of why you were terrorizing people." Peter said he already felt his patience thinning fast with the annoying merc. Peter pulled his hand back wiping it on his suit as if Wade had given him germs. If the other man noticed between his insistent non stop talking he didn't show it.

"I can explain that real easy. You see sweets I was being the charitable man I am giving the angry rude population of the big apple hugs. Then some people didn't appreciate a once in a lifetime Deadpool hug so they called the ol' boys in blue on me. Then they started shooting so I pulled out my katanas and was like slish slash." Wade said he swung them around carelessly almost hitting Peter.p

"Watch it!" Peter snapped as a katana came real close to hitting him in a vital organ. He might not have the best life but he didn't want a sword through his stomach thank you. Peter grabbed one of the swords the merc was waving around with one of his webs.

"Oh come on you're no fun! Please give me back Bea she needs her Arthur!" Wade pleaded dramatically. He got on his knees on front of Peter and begged. Peter stared at him for a couple seconds before blinking a few times. This guy was strange. Peter handed him back the katana without saying anything.

"Thanks Spidey! I knew you weren't the menace J. Jonah Johnson said you were!" Wade said cheerily Peter felt like his voice was penetrating into his skull. He sighed he couldn't wait to go home and crash. Wade however was talking his ear off once more. He didn't want to leave the police with the crazies psychopath so he decided he had to solve this issue first.

"Just go home Wade. Don't do anything stupid. I really don't have the energy to deal with you right now or ever really." Peter said he had a slump as he a few steps closer to the man.

"Will do babe! Just let me give you something since you were unlucky enough to miss the Deadpool hugs. Copyrighted by Wade Wilson." Wade said he was right up next to Peter which made the spider hero nervous. Wade quickly pressed his lips onto the heros cheek.

Peter tried to say something but his mouth didn't seem to work. Before he had even figured out how to become in control of his body again Wade was long gone. "Thanks for letting him get away you useless menace!" One of the police shouted right on Peter's ear.

Peter winced he shoved the cop lightly a few feet away from him. "Stop yelling alright? You mother of uh you know what forget it." Peter said he swung away towards his apartment. Peter had meant to say a curse word but he hadn't been able to gather the strength to do it.

He found his mind wandering to the weird merc who he had encountered earlier. Wade was a peculiar fellow. Peter thanked the gods he didn't have to put up with him on a regular basis. Peter collapsed onto his bed the second his head hit his pillow he was out. He hadn't even had time to take off his suit.