Architect of paradise (PART I: Out of the Ruins)

41. The lonely heroine

    I stayed at the clinic as a patient four days until my concussion to subside. I had a lot of visits, like Justin and the others, the members of New Leaf, the Jackson couple and a lot of others. Well, a specific person didn't come. I was silent and I could see Alice's agony. She was really worried about me. 

    I learned that Maggie was at the hospital in Harrisonburg and her condition was stable. She was out of danger. Alice took over her chase. She edited a denunciation against Mr. Belt and the state would take care of his daughter. In other words, we would be responsible of her.

I return home after four days. My left arm is still in a splint. It needs three to four weeks to recover. I sit on a couch and my gaze falls on an empty space. There are some things I need to think. Alice makes some coffee. She sits beside me. Her look is sad and nervous. She still worries about me.

-"I am okay." I say. Alice hugs me.

-"Mrs. Falcon agreed to become Maggie's guardian." Alice says. I smile deceptively. Mrs. Falcon is the perfect person to become Maggie's family. She will support the hurt girl and she will help her to be over this tragedy.

-"These are good news." I answer.

-"Yes. Maggie is going to get out of the hospital in a few days, too." Alice continues to say. I nod.

-"I think, I will go to the library tomorrow." I say after a while.

-"You just got out of the clinic. Give yourself some time."

-"Well, I will be busy so, it is better this way."

-"As you wish."

-"While you were at the clinic, I received a report from the main constructor. The Adelaide Natural Park will be ready to operate in a week."

-"Wonderful!" I say and then I am reminded of something. I need to talk to Mr. Jackson about a serious problem. Well, it can wait until tomorrow.

Alice let me alone for a while so she could cook. I just turn on the TV. It was a long time before I could watch TV with all this work with the organization. I don't find interesting any of the programs but I want to distract myself from painful memories and thoughts.

The bell rings. Alice goes to open the door. The five youths gets in. They sit with me and Alice brings juice and biscuits.

-"Congratulations on your release, Addie!" Jane says. The others follow with their best wishes.

-"Thank you!" Justin says suddenly while he is looking at me.

-"Thank you for saving Maggie." He says again. I can see his tightened fists. I think he feels angry with himself that he didn't realize the truth.

-"There were some signs but I ignored them." He says in despair.

-"Well, all of us ignored them." Jane tries to comfort him.

-"Maggie is in a sensitive position right now but with a little bit time, she will be fine. Trust me." Alice meddles in. Her words give them hope.

-"But Addie is a heroine and that is a fact!" Jane smiles brightly. Heroine, huh? I don't think so. However, I don't want to break down some youths' daydreams. They need something to believe in at this sensitive age.

-"Aren't I? So you must revere and respect me more now." I joke and they smile. After that, they told me about their separation in a few days. Only Justin and Maggie will be in Green Hill at summer. This is the last time I will see them all together. I give them my best wishes in turn and I goodbye them.

-"You are going to be lonely." Alice notices. Lonely. Yes, it will be lonely without these lively and energetic teenagers. Well, after some goodbyes we will have new welcomes. This is the meaning in life. I am not sad of these kind of goodbye. Instead, I am happy about them.

The real loneliness is coming when the person you trust disappearing suddenly without a word. Loneliness is when you realize that your trust and belief was betrayed. Loneliness is when your heart is so much in pain and you can't tell about it to anybody. Loneliness is when the hopes you had about the future are breaking down like a paper tower.

I can feel my hot tears running down my cheeks. I didn't realize that they were running. I was thinking and defying my loneliness and they decide their own to run down. I wipe them but they are stubborn.

-"Addie." Alice sits beside me and hugs me. 

    My dear and faithful Alice will never betray me. She will never let me alone. She is my angel. She is on my side. Then, why am I crying for a devil? Why am I feeling alone without a traitor? Why am I in so much pain in my heart and my soul? This is more painful than the beating and my trauma. It hurts more than my broken arm.

A heroine. A heroine with so many wounds and scars. A heroine with a lonely life. Yes, heroes suppose to be alone fighting alone and treating their wounds alone. Mm. A lonely heroine. At night, they cry and they are in so much in pain. However, the next morning they are ready to save the world putting on their masks and costumes.

I also have a mask. Then, if I have a mask, that means I am a hero, too. I have a very optimistic and bright smile. I am going to wear the costume of an energetic well fare agent that try to save other people. Yes, I will do that. Tomorrow morning I will wake up with a smile and become the director of New Leaf, the advisor of the major and a gentle librarian.

But tonight just let me cry. Let me treat my wounds. Let me curse at the world and at those who make me suffer. Only for this evening, let me be weak and fragile. Let me break down and break out.

Alice is patting me on my back gently as I burst into tears. Her hug is so warm and gentle. She is the only person who can see this weak and fragile side of a heroine. She keeps the secret that a great hero is just another vulnerable human being. Only she knows the secret of the heroes.

The sunlight got inside my bedroom. It is morning already. I feel my eyes to tingle. There are some black circles around them and they themselves are a little red and swollen. I drop some cool water on them and I put on some make-up to cover the black circles. This is a little difficult with one of my hands but not impossible. I dress up too.

As I get out of my room, I can smell the hot coffee that waits me in the kitchen. There are some biscuits, too. Alice is also waiting for me to get breakfast together. The school is over. She can be busy with the organization now. 

     The library is still open. Even though it hasn't any visitor but it must remain open the whole year around. She is willing to accompany to the library but it is not necessary. I have just one broken arm. I can walk to there and I don't have so much work that it will need my second hand. I can manage.

I open up the library and I sit on my usual place. I need to achieve some documents. After some minutes, Mr. Jackson rushes in the main hall and approaches me.

-"Good morning, dear."

-"Good morning, Mr. Jackson."

-"Addie, it is awful. The scientists talked to me about the mine. It has become a dangerous place for work. They suggest closing it down." He says with agony. He had already heard the news I wanted to tell him.

-"I have the authority to close it down, if there is danger to human lives but it is not so simple. The economy will plummet and there are going to be complaints and uprisings. What to do?" He asks with anxiety.

Well, what did I tell you? This is the time for the great and confident hero. This is the time to put on my mask and my costume to hide my wounds and my scars. This is the time to become the hope of others, even though I lost mine. This is the time for the lonely heroine.

-"Don't worry, Mr. Jackson. We will find a solution." I say with a bright smile and eyes full of optimism.

To be continue