Yours to love

Chapter 48: Lillian

Waking up and being held by the person you love most in this world is the best feeling I know. It's like putting 25 cents in a candy box and there are already some candies in the opening so you get more than usual. It's like getting a bigger paycheck because there has been a holiday. It's like being a kid again and finding out your parents are taking you to Disneyworld. It's like getting A+ on every test, even those you are worried you might fail.

Waking up in Blake's arms is the definition of a good morning.

"Morning," he says, when I finally open my eyes.

"Good morning," I clarify, and a smile forms at the corners of his lips. "How did you sleep?"

"Not great, but it could've been worse."

"I know, I know, my presence makes things slightly better."

"It does," his lips find mine, and we forget about everything else, including our morning breaths, which usually disgust me. But I guess that the fact that we won't get to kiss for a few months makes up for it.

"I can't believe how fast this summer went by," I confess to him. "Before you came back, I was dreading it, and now that it's over, I can say that it was the best summer of my life."

He tries to get out of bed but I catch him by the arm, pulling him to me, forcing proximity between the two of us. "We should get ready, we're leaving in a little over an hour."

"Right," I say, sitting up and bringing my lips to his.

I fall back on my bed when he heads to the bathroom. Staring at the ceiling, I decide to join him in the shower. I mean, we'll save time. I take my pajamas off and enter the glass shower as he has his head under water, washing his hair. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him from behind, my cheek resting against his back.

"I was hoping you would join me," he turns around before trading places so that I am standing under the burning hot water.

He puts some shampoo in the palm of his hand and combs my hair with his fingers. I can't remember the last time someone other than myself or my hairdresser washed my hair. I look up at him as water runs down my head, from my roots to the ends of my hair. He rubs my scalp without breaking eye contact and for some reason, it becomes too much. Looking at him, pretending that this isn't goodbye, acting as if I am fine, all of it is just too much.

My eyes tear up, a single tear rolls down my face, and Blake wipes it with the pad of his thumb, his hand landing on my cheek. He brings his body closer to mine, leading my arms up until they rest on his shoulders, closing around his neck, forcing me to be on the tip of my toes. The hot water and the feeling of his skin against mine send shivers through my body.

I hate how this whole thing feels right now. Like he's leaving forever, like he might never come back to me, and it's scaring me.

I love having him close, I love his touch, being skin-to-skin, his hands traveling up and down my back. The idea of never having this again is killing me.

"I'm scared too," he confesses as I lay my head in the crook of his neck.

"It would be crazy not to be."

Lillian

A part of me always hated men in uniforms. I had this belief that they always put their job before anything else, even people. Blake changed this idea I had, he showed me what it meant to truly love and be loved, and I know that his enrollment will never come between us. Plus, he looks hot in his military trousers and vest.

"Looking fine, Private Kingston," I say, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"You think?" he questions my compliment.