Lillian Henry is seventeen years old when her 20 year-old brother, Adam, and his best friend, Blake Kingston, enroll in the army. And she's eighteen, when they come back, her feelings left unchanged. As for his, they're even stronger than before.
T...
As I step away from Adam's little sister, I can't help but look her up and down. She's even more beautiful than before I left, and I didn't think that was possible.
"Want to join us for dinner, Kingston?" someone asks me, but I can't quite identify who, considering I'm focused on Lily, on how happy she looks, though there are tears in her eyes.
A part of me also ignores the person talking to me.
I hate being called Kingston, my last name. I guess, at some point in my life, I liked it because I let people call me that, but it was before. I used to idolize my father. I felt lucky to be a Kingston. But it was before he turned out to be a cheating bastard. Two years later, though, everyone still uses my last name to refer to me. Everyone, except one person.
Lillian Henry.
"Kingston!" Adam exclaims, hitting me behind the head as he must have noticed me staring at his sister. "Are you coming to dinner with us?"
"Hum... yeah, sure."
***
At the restaurant, I'm sitting on one side of the table with Lily next to me. She laughs at some joke her dad made and I didn't hear. I smile because I'm in love with the sound of her laugh. It lights up the room, it brings joy to anyone around. She's a ray of sunshine.
"So, what are you two going to be doing now that you are back?" her dad asks his son and I. "Adam isn't enrolling again for now, are you going to, Kingston? I remember the first time I came back from a mission. The first thing I did, I went straight to my girlfriend and kissed the crap out of her," Adam and Lily's dad, John, tells us.
Nadia slaps him tenderly on his arm.
"But you two don't have girlfriends," he reminds us, my eyes lingering on Lily.
Does she have a boyfriend? She didn't a year ago. But it could've changed. I mean, she's gorgeous, smart, funny, kind, why wouldn't she have a boyfriend? It's not like she would wait for me. She told me she wouldn't.
There's one thing to know about Lily and I.
About a certain kiss that happened right before I left.
About the us that could've happened if I didn't leave.
"I can't do it," Lily tells me.
My hands on her cheeks, begging her to look me in the eyes and tell me she doesn't like me back, a tear rolls down to her chin.
"That's not the point, Blake. The point is, you're leaving. And I can't allow myself to fall for you, I'll only end up with a broken heart."
"It's only a year," I remind her, but she doesn't seem to care.
"Do you know that about 42% of long-distance relationships don't work?"
Smartass.
"Then, 58% do work."
"Maybe, but 42% is too much of a chance to take."
"I'm not having an argument over stupid statistics with you, Lily. I will not allow the last time we spend time together before I leave be a fucking argument."
She stays silent, standing still a few inches away from me. I want to reach for her, to bring her into a hug. I want to tell her a year is going to go by quickly. But in all honesty, I'm not sure myself. I don't think a long-distance relationship would work between us. I like having her near, I like spending time with her. We wouldn't have that anymore. But still, going away without knowing where we stand, I can't allow it.
"Will you wait for me?" I ask her, hope in my gaze.
"I want to tell you I will, but I can't make that kind of promise, Blake."
"Can I at least have a goodbye kiss?"
"I just told you we couldn't be together and you want a goodbye kiss? From me?"
She did it. She gave me my goodbye kiss. And I fell asleep thinking about it every night while I was away.
"Blake?" her sweet voice whispers in my ear, her hand rubbing my shoulder kindly.
I look up, meeting her eyes. She nods at something behind me. I turn around, finding the waitress waiting for me to order.
"Sorry," I apologize to her. "I'll have carbonara pasta with roasted chicken, please."
She writes it down before walking away to the kitchen.
Nadia, John and Adam are talking on their side of the table when Lily's hand finds my thigh, resting there in order to stop my leg from bouncing.
"Are you alright?" she interrogates me, looking at me worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm just jetlagged."
It isn't completely a lie. But it isn't totally the truth either.
Ever since she took me in her arms back at the base, I can't help but think about what I had left behind. What I might have lost. She's my best friend's sister, but she's so much more than this. She's the first girl I have ever thought about every morning waking up and every night going to sleep. The only one I ever want to feel my lips on again. That girl still has my heart, but I can't tell if I have hers.
"I prayed for you," she confesses to me, and I stare at her, surprised.
She thought about me while I was gone.
That must mean something.
"Don't look at me like I just told you I committed a murder," she jokes, making me laugh. "You can't make feelings disappear with a fingers' snap."
"Could we meet up this week?" I ask her out of nowhere. "You know, to catch up."
"Sure."
Our food arrives, the waitress wishes us a bon appetit, and Lily begins eating, completely ignoring me and the fact she's sitting closer than she was at the beginning of the evening, our arms brushing everytime she takes a bite.
You can't make feelings disappear with a fingers' snap, I repeat to myself in my head.
Does she mean that she still has feelings for me?
Or that it took time for her to be able to stop having those feelings for me?
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In this chapter, you've learned a little more about Blake and found out some very interesting information about Blake and Lily's relationship.
I hope you enjoy YOURS TO LOVE. I love writing it, I'm already in love with Blake lol
Don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me right here or while you read, and also to tag me if you ever post about my story on tiktok and instagram (thecanadianbookclub)
If you aren't aware of it, I also have two other stories up.
Obsessively, which is completed, and Loving Winnipeg, which I am currently writing at the same time as Yours to love.
