Yours to love

Chapter seven: Blake

It's been a week since we've been back, and every day, I see Lily, sitting at her desk, writing something in a notebook. I decide to call her.

She picks up on the first ring and looks away from her desk and through the window, finding me standing like a stalker in my room.

"What are you doing?"

"I still have an exam before I can officially call it summer."

"Haven't you been studying all week?"

"Yeah, but I still don't feel ready enough. I don't want to pass it. I want to nail it."

Lily always has been a hard worker, she puts a hundred and ten percent in everything she does. She's an overachiever. And she craves academic validation. Any sort of validation actually.

"Bummer," I tell her, piquing her curiosity. "We're going to the beach tomorrow."

"Who's we?" she interrogates me.

"Just a bunch of people Adam and I used to go to school with. Don't be jelly, Lily, I won't look at all the girls in bikinis, my mind will be too occupied imagining what you would look like in one."

"Blake Kingston, you are so discreet with your feelings."

"I don't have to be when I'm only around you. But I try to be careful around you-know-who."

She chuckles, her shoulders shaking in sync with her growing laugh, "I'll be there, count on me."

I tap myself on the shoulder, things going exactly as planned.

"What about your upcoming exam?"

"I'll take my book with me, you'll help me study."

Said book in the air, cover in my direction, I realize it's sociology. I fake gag through the phone. I always found that excruciatingly boring. But in all honesty, I used to find most of my classes boring, that must explain why I quitted school and enrolled in the army.

"With pleasure," I confirm.

I wouldn't study for my own exams and now, I'm agreeing to help her study for hers. Something must be wrong with me. I'm doomed. Completely head-over-heels for my Lily.

"Anyways, what are your plans for the summer?" I ask her.

"Sleep, tan, read, eat, repeat."

I pretend to stab myself in the heart.

"And spending time with my annoying, but totally drool-worthy, neighbor," she adds, and I take the compliment, even though I know she is joking. Or not.

"You don't look too bad yourself, especially in this..." I stop myself, squeezing my eyelids tighter to see better. "Are those unicorns?"

She nods, laughing.

"In this unicorn pajamas. Incredibly sexy."

"Well, thank you, sir. I should really go back to my book if I don't want to study all day tomorrow."

"With me as your personal teacher, you'll learn everything in the blink of an eye. I think you can allow yourself to go get some sleep."

"I'll sleep once I'm dead. Or once my exam is over."

She gets up from her chair, taking a hold of her drapes and closing them vigorously.

"That was rude," I confess, pretending to be hurt by the gesture.

"Good night, Blake."

"Good night, my Lily," I say, and I almost punch myself for it.

Her name is saved like this in my phone, and when I think about her, I like to refer to her as my Lily, but I have never actually said it out loud, especially not to her. The last thing I want is to pressure her into giving me an answer, into telling whether or not she will be my girlfriend. As far as I'm concerned, just having her in my life is enough, being able to say she's mine would simply be a bonus.