Lillian Henry is seventeen years old when her 20 year-old brother, Adam, and his best friend, Blake Kingston, enroll in the army. And she's eighteen, when they come back, her feelings left unchanged. As for his, they're even stronger than before.
T...
I never imagined I would one day put a friend to rest. At least, not that young.
Every time I close my eyes, I see him, I hear his screams, and the mine go off. Then, it's complete silence and I sit up in a hurry, catching my breath. I can barely sleep at night, and when I finally do, it's to be haunted by the memories of him, the reminders that he isn't here anymore, that he won't ever be again.
Adam Henry was the best friend everyone wishes they had. He was like a brother to me. I had him, and I lost him.
"Come here," Lily whispers in her half asleep voice, opening her arms to me.
I lay back down, allowing her to hug me, to hold me close. I have no idea what I would do if I didn't have her right now. I think I would go crazy. She kisses my forehead, moving a strand of hair out of my face with a finger.
"Focus on my voice, okay?" she tells me. "Your heart is beating so fast. Take a deep breath with me."
We inhale in sync, but our exhalations are unsteady. It's so hard to stay calm when you feel like your whole world is crumbling under your feet. But Lily is here to keep me from falling, to remind me that we have each other, and that we will get through this together.
"I keep thinking that it should've been me."
"Don't you go there, Blake. Don't ever think that. Adam wouldn't want that."
I sigh, letting out a sob at the same time, "I can't help it."
"It's okay," she rubs my back, her hand venturing under my shirt. "Sometimes, I can't help but be mad at myself too. Because even though he had made amends, even though I told him I wasn't mad at him for the things he told me at the gala, I know that, deep down, a part of me hadn't forgiven him, and I just feel like he left while we were on bad terms. God, I wish I would have gotten the chance to say goodbye," she cries, and so do I.
We hold each other as we let everything out. We have both been trying to be strong for the other, but maybe what we needed was to be weak together, one night time.
Once our cries die and the silence of the night takes over again, I can't fall back asleep. Neither can she. I can feel her stir in my hold. But no word is spoken. We just stay in each other's arms until the first ray of sunshine comes through the opening between the curtains.
Today's the day, Adam's funeral. A ceremony in his honor, us burying him. It's about to be the hardest day of my life, of all our lives, and I sincerely don't know how I am going to get through it.
Lily and I look into each other's eyes, trying to find comfort and courage, but all I see is pain and sadness, and it reminds me of what I lost, what we lost.
"We'll be okay, baby," I finally speak after being awake for an hour, just staring at one another, waiting for the other to say something.
She nods, and even though I can see the hesitation, I know that she means it. She wants to be okay for her brother. He wouldn't want all the tears, all the suffering. He would want us to remember the great moments, of the chance we had to have the time we had with him.
Like the time, a few years back, during the town annual rally, when he carried Lily because her legs were too short to keep up. We had laughed so much when he had just picked her up and ran all the way to the finish line with her in his arms while their ankles were tied together.
"Remember when you smashed Adam's face into his birthday cake?" I ask her, a chuckle escaping my lips through the ache of the memory.
"It was his fifteenth birthday," she recalls, a small smile making its way to her face. "He chased after me through the kitchen and the living room until he caught up to me and wiped his hand all over me. I was so mad because he had gotten chocolate all over my dress. It's one of my favorite memories with him, because after that we made up and I think it's the first time he actually included me with his friends and once you all had left, he told me he was glad to have me."
"He loved you so much, Lily, you have no idea."
"He loved you too."
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This was the second to last chapter, there is only one left (and an epilogue).
Thank you for reading my story, for sticking by my side during this whole journey. I can't thank you all enough for the love you have shown to Lily and Blake's story.
