today was okay. i hung out with mj and ned, had the left over spaghetti aunt may made. it was the best, her spaghetti's always the best. I went out patrolling, a few crimes (maybe 3?4?), not as much as normal, not sure if i should be happy or sad about it because patrolling with no crimes is truly boring. anyways, liv and i called. we acted different around each other. i know liv tried to act the same, but something was in the atmosphere that changed our relationship. i just wanna hang out with her like we used to weeks ago.
liv also went to a football game to watch her new boyfriend, cameron, play. from what i've heard, he seems like a nice guy. she seems happy with him. but i guess there's nothing i can do, i want liv to be happy. somehow i'm always thinking about liv, even when we're not talking. as steve lacy says, 'i think of her so much, it drives me crazy'. i wish i could tell her how i feel, but i can't. play the waiting game, according to may. i know she doesn't feel the same way about me since she has a boyfriend, but i really wish she did. i'm not one to fall in love too fast, but there was(is?) something between liv and i. maybe i'm moving too quick, yet not moving at all in this friendship. maybe i'm delusional. it's definitely just me who thinks there's something more between us though.
then again, am i even ready for a relationship? there's already so much pressure on me, yet i keep adding more to it. saving the city's quite a big job, and helping may at FEAST is the least i can do for her. after all, she raised me for 15 years. of course i wanna be with olivia, but will i even be able to balance it with everything else?
i'm gonna read all this another day and be like what the fuck is she talking about hahah. also christmas is so soon, i'm excited to spend it with aunt may and happy :)
i close my book, dropping my pen in my pen holder container.
3 days later, 6:02pm
"merry christmas may!" i say as soon as may opens the door to her and happy's condominium. "merry christmas y/n!" aunt may says, hugging me. i smile, then walking to happy. "merry christmas happy!" he says it back, and we hug for a few seconds.
after i place my bag of presents under the christmas tree, we sit down at the dinner table. i scoop some mash potato on my fork, the texture being as smooth as butter. "what have you guys been doing today?" i ask, eating the mashed potato. "may's been at feast for the day, only came back a few hours ago to cook," happy answers. "you better have helped her, happy," i say. "i would rather have him not help me," may chips in, laughing.
i pull out my phone as my phone buzzes, and i read olivia's message, putting my phone back as i decide to reply after. "so, presents?" may suggests after we finish eating. "lets do it!" i exclaim, and we all sit down beside the tree.
aunt may hands me a small box, that was wrapped neatly. "thank you may," i say, and she gives me a smile as she patiently sits next to happy as they watch me unwrap it. i gasp as i open the ring lid, taking it out. "may..."
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