Make it Right

Chapter 2

The last time you spoke with JK is more than ten years ago now. You still think about him often and fondly. You wonder about what he is up to and how he is doing. From time to time, you even think about calling him at his old phone number, but always, at the last minute, decide against it. You think, "What would I even say? 'Hey, do you remember me from almost 10 years ago? We were best friends.'" Of course not. So, you keep him deep in your heart, making him into a poignant ghost from your past that you pull out and dust off occasionally.

Memory of that twelve-year-old boy helps you through some tough times. You bring him out from the recesses of your memory from time to time and think about him. You give him certain characteristics that you need in the moment to get through whatever hardship you are facing. This is especially so when you are feeling sad. The thought of him never fails to cheer you up. You think "JK is still helping me in my life without ever knowing it." Quite often, you send out a big "thank you" into the universe for him and hope that he is living a full life, being happy and satisfied.

You have been working at the same company for the past six years. You like the work that you do, especially because you don't have to take it home with you. You have a couple of opportunities to move up in the company, but because of the lack of college education, you are passed over for it more than once. However, you tell yourself that it's fine and that this is a temporary situation; that you are going to return to school any day now.

You still live in the same studio apartment that you moved into when you snuck away from your aunt's home all those years ago. You also have couple of girls at work with whom, you've become friendly. You live modestly and well under your means. You save money every chance you get.

You try your best not to think about your past, but you still touch on memories of JK often. You often wonder, "Where is he now? What is he doing? How much has he changed? Would I recognize him if I saw him on the street? He would be a man now." But whenever you think of him. He is still that sweet, doe eyed twelve-year-old boy who'd come find you every morning to play.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When you get into work this morning you notice that the entire office is buzzing with excited energy. You ask the person in the next cubicle what everyone is talking about this morning, and she tells you that the company has hired a new executive. Apparently, he is the youngest senior Vice President the company has ever had and that he is known for his ruthlessness in his business dealings, and that he is an attractive playboy. You don't like to get involved in office politics or gossip, so you do your best to say clear of either usually and today is no different. Besides, your path would never cross with this new VP of sales anyway, so you pay it no mind. It wouldn't change anything about your day-to-day work life.

When it comes to office romance, you never get into it. Sure, there are few men from work that have asked you out on dates, but your answer to them is always, "I don't date people I work with." This worked for most of them, except for Jonathan. He had asked you out regularly for six months and finally quit his job and asked you out again. Of course, you still declined. You know that he quit his job at this company to move onto different work, but you like to think that he quit to ask you out.

The word around the water cooler is that, today is the first day of work for this mysterious, cutthroat, young executive, business playboy. The women around the office are intrigued and there is a sense of giddiness that permeates throughout the building. You, on the other hand, want to avoid it in its' entirety. So, you decide to work through lunch and leave a bit earlier than usual today.

One of the women that you are friendly with in the data entry department, Lauren, spots the new VP on her way from the cafeteria and is now running around telling people all about him, as well as what her impression of him is. The description you get is that he is tall, rugged type, in excellent physical shape, and that he is polite, has beautiful eyes, and is very handsome. The actual word that Lauren uses to describe him is "flawless." You cannot help but smile at Lauren's unchecked excitement. She has been engaged to be married to her fiancé for the past two years but she still gets butterflies whenever a new guy gets hired or transfers into this branch.

The man that Lauren described, unfortunately for her, is the absolute opposite of her fiancé. You met him once at an office party and your expression of him was that he is a short, stocky, lecherous dwarf and you secretly hoped that Lauren doesn't go through with the wedding. Of course, you would never say such things to her.

You remind yourself about leaving early today and put this distraction aside to continue with your work. About an hour before the end of your regular workday, you tidy up your cubicle and head out for home. As you walk out of the office building, you catch a glimpse of a man across the lobby that you've never seen in the building before. You think, "Maybe that's the fabulous new VP of sales," and continue to walk out. However, you can see from your peripheral vision that the man turns and stares at you. That fact enters your mind and leaves as quickly as it appeared.

On your way home, you stop at your favorite secondhand bookstore called "Beloved," to pick up a "new" book for yourself. You love the name of the bookstore because you once read a book by Toni Morrison with the same name, and it left such am impression on you that you bring it out and read it over again once in a while. You've always loved to read, and you love the atmosphere of this bookstore. There are bookshelves covering every single wall and it goes from floor of the main level to the ceiling of the second floor. There is a wooden spiraling staircase that you can use to go to the top deck, or if you so choose, you can climb the rolling ladder that rolls on a track that surrounds the walls to get to the books on top.

What you really love about these books is that occasionally, you'll find a book with the sweetest inscription from the giver of the book to the receiver. You've also found notes, letters, and postcards, tucked into the pages of the books. With the very cordial and sometimes achingly sweet messages, you like to pretend that the message and the sentiment behind it were meant for you.

You've become quite friendly with the man who owns the bookshop, Owen, and often spend time chatting with him while you are picking out a book. He has made some great recommendations and he has gotten into a habit of scanning the books himself and putting them aside for you when he finds the ones with inscriptions and/or little treasures in between the pages. You've been out for coffee with him a couple of times. From all the men that are in the periphery of your day-to-day life, Owen was the one that came closest to dating you. However, you soon find out that what he was looking for in relationship was quite different from what you were willing to give and the two of you decide to go your separate ways as friends.

That was almost two years ago, and he was, unfortunately for you, the last person you had sex with. You think to yourself, "People go through dry spells, I know they do. This just happens to be my dry spell." What you realize is that if it was simply sex that you wanted, you could have it 3 times a day, every day and wouldn't run out of volunteers for it. But that's not how you operate. For the physical intimacy to be good, emotional intimacy would have to be there first. You are not saying that Owen wasn't good. He was very good at it, and you felt the loss when you had to send him on his way.

Tonight, Owen isn't in, but one of the store clerks tells you that Owen had left a book aside for you, and it's Jane Eyre. You pay for the book and head out. You remember that you haven't eaten lunch today and feel quite hungry. So, you decide to grab some take out from your favorite Chinese food place and head home.

When you finally arrive home, as soon as your front door closes behind you, you kick off your shoes and crash on your couch. Pouring yourself a bigger than usual glass of wine and run through the day you had at work. Even with all the commotion and ruckus over the new executive, the only thing that sticks in your mind is the man you had a glimpse of on your way out. You are not entirely sure why that is, but simply shrug your shoulders and move on. You say to yourself, "Chinese food, glass of wine and Jane Eyre, things cannot get better than this."

You spend the rest of the night with your nose in Jane Eyre. When the story gets to Jane having to survive and endure her difficult life circumstances, you allow yourself to think about your own difficult life circumstances that you had to survive and endure and can't help but feel contentment and happiness in your current life. There is only one thing that you don't have now that you've always wanted: a college education.

You've always promised yourself that once you were relatively established financially, that you'd start college. You have been putting it off for the past three years and decide that you are going to change that tonight. You flip open your laptop and open the bookmark folder labeled "College" and browse through the saved selections. You open the page to the local community college and decide to sign up for 1 class. You tell yourself, "better late than never." By the time your glass of wine is finished, you have registered and paid for your first college class. You think to yourself, "Girl, you are on your way."