I Did This?

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

*Alison's POV*

I just died. It doesn't feel any different than falling asleep. You just have to know you're never waking up.

It feels like you're still alive but you can't do anything. Lifeless body yet active brain. I could bring up any memory I had, bringing it back to life.

I could also see things in other people's point of view. Right now I was looking at myself when I was about 3 years old in my mothers point of view.

I was a cute baby. The way I toddled around and babbled incoherently.

I wanted to see my first kiss. It was at a football game. My boyfriend was the running back of our school's team. We had just finished halftime and he was very nervous.

"Ali. The game is 21-7. How are we going to get three touchdowns without them getting any?"

"I believe in you."

"I know. But I can't do it by myself."

He sat on the bench, rubbing his head. I sat next to him, making him look at me. I've never seen him so vulnerable.

I lifted his chin to look at me. At that time, I really liked him. He was everything I thought about.

I leaned close, unsure what to do. He leaned closer, helping me.

I kissed him, pushing my lips on his before he did.

It was our first.

My first.

He kissed me back, pulling me closer. When we separated, I felt like nothing else mattered. It felt natural yet I knew that, just that one kiss was the beginning of so much more.

"Good luck baby." I said, biting my lip.

He smiled, kissed me again and ran out as the coach called him.

That was one of my favorites moments.

I had been replaying these moments forever. I tried to avoid the last few months of my life though.

I know Harry only means well but I don't know how he intends on doing that if he's changing into a wolf every 5 seconds.

I wanted to be ok with him. But I couldn't let go of the moment we first met. Not in the halls of school, but when he attacked me.

That was my least favorite memory. I now had to live my life with the terrifying scars.

The scars showed on my shoulders and arms. I had the large scratches on my stomach that never faded. The last one on my inner thigh. It still had a pinch of pain when I scratch it on something.

They were like battle scars. Very noticeable from the right distance.

I wondered how Harry was coping. I know he loved me. I know he seemed to care for me.

I don't know if I can love him back.

It's really hard for me to believe or for anyone to believe.

Love scared me.

It was something that I couldn't go after. I had nightmares about love. The person I'd give myself to would take advantage of me. Make me vulnerable to everything. Out my heart in the line and make sure it didn't fall.

Harry wouldn't do that. I don't think by choice.

Harry was super sweet and caring. His green eyes bored into mine with passion. I could get lost in them all day.