The Safe Wizards

20: History Classes

"Inima mea,

I finally got to make my trip to Scotland and visit my parents. The news from England worries me: the government has finally taken over Hogwarts, and a dozen students and Hagrid have been expelled because of the blood of magical creatures running through their veins. The students have gone home and Hagrid is staying next door to my parents' house, they've set up a temporary home for him in the empty lot because he refused to come home.

I'm worried about all of this. I don't know if I ever told you, Ginny got a job as a chaser on the Harpies' team. She is thrilled, but says she feels watched. The government seems to be trying to get to her like they did with Harry before he disappeared. We are all worried. Hermione has been approached several times by other students at the medical school to see if she has heard from the Survivor and customers have done the same with Ron and George at the shop. We wonder if they are sent by the government to investigate, to deceive us. We all tend to isolate ourselves and only associate with people we knew during the war. The only new thing is that Draco has joined the Ministry and is working with Dad in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office. Surprising, isn't it? It's even more surprising that Dad occasionally invites him over for a meal. I confess that I don't really know much more about it.

With my trip to Scotland finally over, I hope to be able to go to Alaska and Egypt in the coming weeks.

Te iubesc.

Charlie"

The letter trembled in Harry's hands. He didn't know where he stood anymore. He had finally met Jasper a month earlier and had agreed to have Jasper come in once a week to help him with his American history classes. Harry had looked forward to this time with the vampire every week since their first tête-à-tête.

The wizard had been very uncomfortable with Jasper's arrival the first time, resenting giving the vampire a chance and feeling like he was cheating on Charlie, but when Jasper had offered to help, he couldn't refuse, his heart and soul needed that time with him. Fortunately, Jasper had been skillful in his approach to him. He had explained the nature of his power and that if he wished, he could help him relax a little, which Harry had accepted, reassured that Jasper had told him about his power from the start. The blond had then been an exciting and passionate teacher, allowing Harry to become interested in the subject. At the end of the class, the vampire had proposed to Harry to leave with him to discover a corner of Alaska off the beaten track. Overwhelmed by the feeling of well-being he had with the blond, Harry had accepted and Jasper had taken him on his back to the edge of an underground lake, hidden in a cave. There they had talked, keeping a small distance between them, about Harry's life since he had arrived in the United States, as well as Jasper's life since he had joined the Cullen.

Harry had spent the next few days between guilt and wanting to see Jasper again. He had spent his evening with Alice finally confiding in her about his feelings instead of working on math, after asking her if Jasper was in the tree outside her window. The vampire had looked at him in surprise.

"Did you really think we hadn't noticed him coming there every day since the first night Andromeda went to your house?" he had teased her, with a smile.

"No, Harry, no," she countered immediately.

"Then why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Seriously, Harry, if one of us had told you that Jasper came to watch you every day, you would have taken him for a nutcase and you would never have given him a chance."

Harry thought about it for a moment and then laughed.

"You're right, I would have totally freaked out." They laughed together, but the dark-haired man quickly recovered. "Can you make sure Jasper can't hear? I'm not confessing to you so your whole family will know."

Alice went to open the window and stood there for a few seconds before closing it again.

"He's gone."

"Is he hurt?" Harry had suddenly become concerned.

"No, he understands, and although he's curious and would like to know, he'll wait until you're ready to tell him. He also says that if you don't want him to come anymore, he will respect your wishes."

Harry had not responded to this last point and had begun to confide in Alice.

After the fortune teller had left, he had stopped feeling guilty and had been looking forward to the day of their lesson. He had felt himself melt with happiness when the blonde had hugged him in greeting and then spent a long time drinking in his words. At the end of their lesson, Jasper had taken him to an ice cave under a frozen waterfall. Harry had found his childlike soul there. They made ice sculptures, creating two men cuddling. Eventually, they discussed Jasper's presence outside his window for several hours a day, and Harry half-heartedly admitted that knowing he was watching over him was good for him.

As time passed, Harry felt less and less guilty about the time he shared with Jasper. He thought about Charlie, dreamed about him after the few hours he had shared with the blond, but he couldn't help but looking forward to the week when he could see him again.

The week before, Jasper had taken him to see polar bears in a reserve, they had watched them from afar, Harry had placed himself in front of the blond, leaning his back against the marble chest. He had felt at home in this position when Jasper had closed his arms around him. Their skins hadn't touched directly, protected by thick clothing, but the comfort of that embrace had been there nonetheless. Harry had begun to talk to him about his childhood up until he entered Hogwarts. At times he had felt Jasper tremble with anger during his story, but he had never interrupted him. At the end of his confession, he had asked the blond about his life and he had mentioned the memories he had of his human life in Texas.

Again, Harry had spent his week waiting for the day of the lesson with his vampire, but when he had seen the flag raised from the mailbox, everything had changed. Of course his heart had leapt in his chest at the thought of hearing from Charlie, but it had reminded him that he was betraying him, that he was giving himself chances to fall in love with another man in good conscience, without even trying to resist.

As he read the letter, he had realized that Charlie would be coming to see him soon, and joy had mixed with guilt. He was now lost. How could he be with him without resenting the time he shared with Jasper? How could he explain what was going on without hurting him? Should he hide what was happening from him? Harry shook his head as his questions ran through his head. Jasper too was going to be hurt by the redhead's visit. Harry couldn't imagine him watching from his hiding place as he met Charlie, it would certainly be unbearable for him. For both of them, Harry would be unable to devote himself to the dragon-rider if he knew he was being seen by Jasper. The wizard felt like his heart was being torn in two. He didn't even realize he was crying, he felt bad for the two men he was about to hurt. He was convinced that they were both going to suffer because of him, because of his damn ability to do the impossible. Why did magic have to be so hard on him? He had given his whole life to the wizarding world to save it from Voldemort, and now that the wizard was gone, he had to run away from his world and make two men who had asked for nothing suffer. His parents had died to protect him, Cedric had died because of him, Sirius had died because of him, and so many of his friends during the last battle. So many people whose deaths he had hastened by failing to find the horcruxes faster: Lavender Brown, Severus Snape, Dumbledore, Tonks, Remus, Fred... how many more loved ones would have to suffer or die because of him? The whole Weasley family was suffering because of his choice to leave, Charlie was suffering because of his refusal to take on their love story and would soon suffer because of this love triangle with Jasper, Jasper was already suffering because he couldn't be closer to him, because he had to stay in Charlie's shadow because he was there before and Harry wasn't able to make a choice between the two of them.

"Harry?"

Jasper's deep voice snapped him out of his slumber. He became aware of the torrent of tears tumbling from his eyes, of his hands shaking, still clutching Charlie's letter, and most of all of the vampire's presence. His eyes darted back and forth between the letter and the vampire, who seemed a little lost. Harry's sobbing increased and Jasper reacted in a way that was most unexpected to Harry. He gently took him by the elbow to make him stand up and wrapped his arms around him, being very careful not to be skin to skin.

"It's okay, Harry, don't worry. Shh..." he whispered while rocking him. "It's going to be okay, don't worry, it's going to be okay..."