Red, White & Blue | Bucky x Reader

Chapter Twenty-Four

When the train finally stops further down the tracks, I leap from the decimated train car and sprint toward the side of the mountain, climbing my way down into the chasm below. I hear someone shouting my name, but I'm too focused on my task to respond, or to even look up to see who it is.

When I reach the bottom, I only make it a few feet before they grab my arm. My head snaps toward him, the blue light flaring once again, and Steve flinches slightly in surprise, but he doesn't drop my arm.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" Steve asks calmly.

"I need to find him," I state, trying to pull my arm free of his grip as the panic sets in. "Steve, let go. I need to find him."

Reluctantly, Steve releases me and follows as I lead him along the small river between the mountains. We walk up and down that river for over an hour, but we find no trace of Bucky.

Finally, Steve places a hand on my back. "Y/n, we need to go back."

"No," I mumble, holding back my tears as I press forward. "I need to find him."

Steve stops me, his voice low. "Y/n, he's gone. We need to go back."

Realizing he's right, the tears flow freely as I sink to the ground, and a burst of blue energy emanates from my body, though not as strong as before. Once it dissipates, Steve leads me back up the mountain, to where the rest of the Commandos are waiting for us.

"What the hell happened to the train?" Dugan asks.

"A HYDRA canon blew it apart," Steve lies.

Dugan's gaze falls on me, seeing my swollen red eyes and tearstained face. "And Barnes?"

I cover my face with my hand as fresh tears floods my eyes. Steve answers for me, "He didn't make it."

The tenseness of the group fades, and Dugan turns back to me. "I'm sorry, Y/n, Barnes was a good man."

Back in London, we discover that the city was bombed. Rubble litters the streets, and storefronts are burnt to a crisp. Steve and I separate ourselves from the others, wanting to mourn the loss of our friend on our own.

We find in the bar where Steve enlisted the Commandos, our eyes red from crying as we sit in silence, sharing a bottle of alcohol between us.

Peggy finds our refuge and pulls up a stool, but it's Steve who breaks the silence as he pours us both another drink. "Dr. Erskine said that... the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells, 'creating a protective system of regeneration and healing.' Which means... um... I can't get drunk. Did you know that?"

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person," Peggy confirms. "He thought it could be one of the side effects... It wasn't your fault."

"Did you read the reports?" Steve asks.

"Yes."

"Then you know that's not true."

I stay quiet, wishing I could have done more to save Bucky, and I choke back the tears threatening to spill.

"You did everything you could," Peggy assures us. "Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him?" We look at her as if to say 'yes' and she continues, "Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it."

Steve slightly nods in agreement before turning to me, contemplating what he's about the say. "Y/n, on the train... After Bucky fell... What happened?"

Unable to explain the pulse of energy that exploded from me during my grief, I went along with Steve's lie, and we purposely kept it out of the reports, afraid of what would happen to me if anyone found out.

Deciding that Steve trusts Peggy to keep this secret, I take a deep breath. "I— I don't know, I can't explain it. I just felt so much despair and some sort of energy exploded from me..."

"Do you think it has something to do with what Zola did to you?" Steve asks, careful not to reveal too many details about my capture.

"It's possible..." I admit. "He wanted to see what the Tesseract could do to the human body."

Peggy takes in the information with curiosity in her eyes, and reaches across the table, letting her hand rest on the smooth surface. "Well, whatever the effects may be, we'll figure it out together. But for now, I'll keep this information to myself until you're ready to share it."

I smile at her in thanks, and the three of us sit in silence for a little while longer.

"I'm going after Schmidt," Steve states. "I'm not gonna stop till all of HYDRA is dead or captured."

"You won't be alone," Peggy assures him.

"Count me in," I add.