Red, White & Blue | Bucky x Reader

Chapter Six

The curtains in Peggy's room at the retirement home are open, allowing sunlight to shine on our quaint surroundings. Peggy lays comfortably in her bed as Steve and I sit in chairs by her side, and the small table across from us is covered with framed photos of Peggy with her children and grandchildren.

"You should be proud of yourself, Peggy," Steve says, looking at photos.

"I have lived a life," Peggy replies with a small smile. "My only regret is that you didn't get to live yours." Steve gives her a small smile before looking down at the floor, and Peggy tilts her head in concern. "What is it?"

"For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right," Steve tells her. "I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore... And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It's just not the same."

Peggy chuckles. "You're always so dramatic. Look, you saved the world. We rather...mucked it up."

"You didn't," Steve assures her. "Knowing that you and Y/n helped found SHIELD is half the reason I stay."

"Hey," Peggy soothes, taking our hands in hers. "The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over."

As she nears the end of her sentence, Peggy begins to cough, and Steve gets up from his chair to get her a glass of water from the table near the window. When he returns, Peggy looks up at him like she's seeing him for the first time since the war. It's heartbreaking to watch.

"Steve," Peggy breathes, her eyes wide. "You're alive! You... you came back."

"Yeah, Peggy," Steve replies softly.

Peggy begins to cry. "It's been so long... So long."

"Well, I couldn't leave my best girl," Steve soothes. "Not when she owes me a dance."

We stay with Peggy until dinnertime, saying our goodbyes before deciding to head over to the VA. The walls of the hallway are a simple beige and covered with patriotic imagery. We follow the sound of voices, entering a nearby room to find Sam counselling a PTSD meeting. Not wanting to interrupt the session, we linger in the doorway.

"The thing is, I think it's getting worse," a veteran says, sharing her story with the group. "A cop pulled me over last week... He thought I was drunk. I swerved to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED."

Sam nods in sympathy before addressing the group. "Some stuff, you leave there. Other stuff, you bring back. It's our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase? Or in a little man-purse? It's up to you."

The weight of his words sinks in as I think about my own experiences. Like so many other veterans, war changed me, and I still experience moments of anxiety and the occasional nightmare. I don't think these things will ever go away, they are too engrained in my memory, but I'll keep fighting. I survived my past, and I refuse to let it break me.

After the meeting ends, Steve and I wander down the hallway, waiting for Sam to say his goodbyes to the group.

"Well, look who it is," Sam greets, walking over to join us. "The All-American track stars."

"Caught the last few minutes," Steve tells him. "It's pretty intense."

"Yeah, brother, we all got the same problems," Sam explains. "Guilt, regret."

"You lose someone?" I ask him.

"My wingman, Riley," Sam answers. "Flying a night mission. Standard PJ rescue op. Nothing we hadn't done a thousand times before, till an RPG knocked Riley's dumb ass out of the sky. Nothing I could do. It's like I was up there just to watch."

"I'm sorry," I say before looking away, knowing the feeling of helplessness all too well.

"After that, I had really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?" Sam continues.

"But you're happy now, back in the world?" Steve asks.

"The number of people giving me orders is down to about zero," Sam smiles. "So, hell yeah. You thinking about getting out?"

"No. I don't know," Steve admits. "To be honest, I don't know what I would do with myself if I did."

"Ultimate fighting?" Sam asks. We chuckle at the idea. "It's just a great idea off the top of my head. Seriously, you could do whatever you want to do. What makes you happy?"

"I don't know," Steve replies.