💙You put me in a Love Despair🖤 (Music Freaks Fanfic)

Chapter 13: Thinking Things Through

'Sean's POV'

"Sooooooo..." Milly leaned towards me. Her palms are resting on her cheeks and her big red-pink eyes are shining widely. This means... an explanation. "What happened in your-" Milly coughed, "platonic date?"

"For the millionth time, it wasn't a date." I rolled my eyes at her, leaning against her so-called comfortable chair in her room, scrolling through 'Gachagram' on my phone. I could see billions of pictures of people doing whatever; makes me sad that me and Jake didn't take one picture. Can't believe that didn't catch our minds before; maybe we were too focused on our parrots.

"I never said it was romantic." Milly smirked. "Anyway, I wanna know what you did in your totally-not-romantic-get-together-with-the-person-you-confessed-with at the mall."

"That was a mouthful." I laughed. Milly always lightens up the mood even when things get awkward. Wow, where do I start? "Well... hm... We went to a fountain next to the mall, we got some pink lemonade, and I guess got plush parrots, and ate at a restaurant."

"Wow, that was totally not a date at all." Milly rolled her eyes as she said the words sarcastically. She pushed her cheeks up with her hands, making her eyes smaller. I looked away and coughed. It was not a date. But, why do I want to depict it as one? "And you guys got plushies, too that is so adorrrable!"

"Milly, it was not a date. But you know what? I had a really great time. Jake is really sweet and... it's–" I stopped.

"You know what Sean?" Milly grabbed a pillow and squished it tight. "You are so in denial all the time. It drives me crazy!" She threw the pillow and put her hands on my shoulders. "SEAN!!! ARE YOU OKAY!?!"

I didn't know how to respond to that. I looked down. "Uhh..." then turned to Milly again. "Yes?"

"AGGH!!!" Milly put her hands on her head. "Sean, I need to tell you something and it's gonna make your head explode so I warn you."

What she said made my tummy boil. I didn't say anything and nodded slowly. This was the time she was about to tell the topic about Jake and I.

"Sean, when Jake confessed to you, you literally denied him. And when you did come out to him saying that you liked him, you wanted to take it slow and make it a 'platonic date,' but what do you think Jake feels?" Milly adjusted her sitting position so she could look into my eyes, making me feel her words like a knife. "I'm not saying that you should go for it when you're not comfortable, I'm saying that you should not lie. If your gut feeling is telling you that you and Jake did have a date, then it did. Stop questioning so much, dude."

I looked down. "But, Milly..."

"I know you have a thing for escaping by music in your ears and feeling the getaway, but you should also let music let you take risks!" I was beginning to understand, but just as I was about to say something, she stood up on her bed, putting one of her arms in the air with a fisted hand. Then, she yelled brightly, "If your gut feeling tells you to go for it! Then do it! Don't let your brain stop you! Don't let anyone stop you! Don't let the world stop you!"

I freaked out, pulling her hand and making her pajamas stretch. "Okay! Okay! Milly, get down!"

Milly chuckled at her own words and sat down like she did before. "After all, you're a really kind person. So I know you won't do anything stupid." She looked at me with a cheekish smile. "Do you get me?"

I looked down, thinking. Her words spun to me like a hurricane, it made my head hurt.

And, I felt like such an idiot. This whole time I have been doing selfish things, but not just to Jake, but to myself. I have been lying to myself 'and' to Jake. And I'm too afraid to take risks and escape from my problems all this time. It's like being stuck in a prison.