Bad Enough For You (Alex Gaskarth Fan Fiction)

An Item

I couldn't imagine my life any different now. Ever since I woke up to Alex beside me in the hospital, a feeling filled my veins that I cannot live without him. He is my reason for surviving.

Once I woke up and got my head on straight, Alex called the rest of the guys and brought the nurse in. The doctors followed suit. They told me I had been out for almost a month, but because I wasn't too far gone, my body doesn't need time to get working again. They'd been feeding me through a tube and it's no wonder I was so thirsty then.

So, I hadn't died. I thank all my lucky stars that I lived through that. I would've hated myself for leaving all of my friends with no explanation and without fixing everything as well. But they hadn't told me much more than how they've missed me.

Alex and I had a one on one talk in which I asked him about her. I can't ever say her name, or his. They both left such a poisonous imprint on my mind that even if I think their names, I feel poison running through my body again.

They found out that she was part of the plan. I requested him not to go into detail of all the legal matters. I'd rather not deal with those right now. Right now, I want to get my life in order again. I'm still not quite sure where Alex stands with me. Although how he reacted when I woke up gave me a little hope for us. So, I ask him.

"Alex," I say and he mumbles to me. We are alone again. The rest of the guys went to talk with the doctors and see when I am able to leave. I hope soon. It's very early right now so I'm hoping that they'll let me out by dinner time. I feel starved since I haven't had food in a while, unless you count that nasty hospital tube. They said they're going to bring breakfast for me plus one. My plus one being Alex.

Nothing sounds more comforting than my own bed again. I want to go rest in my own blankets with my own pillow that smell like home. I hate the way hospitals smell. The air isn't even air. A chemical smell always lingers in it and it gives me a headache if I focus on it for too long. They're a little too clean for my liking. It is a bit too much if bare feet slide on the clean floors.

"Riley?" Alex pulls me from my thoughts. I'd forgotten to respond.

"I love you." I test the waters.

"And I love you," He says back, a smile taking it's place on his lips. Before he gives me the chance to put my thoughts into words that make even the slightest bit of sense, his smile turns into a grimace and I get distracted. I can tell by the stance of his shoulders that he is getting ready to say something.

It's so beautiful. The small details you pick up on when you know someone for so long. Even if it's been months since you've seen them, you still recognize each motion that they do and can predict the next one. I can imagine his lips curling around any set of words. The silence seemed to extend for too long though. This wasn't natural. I could tell that something was bothering him and it was obviously a big deal to him. In turn, it became a big deal to me.

"What's bothering you, Alex?" I reach out to encase his free hand in mine, our other hands already entangled with each other. His eyes look up from our hands to my eyes and I feel something shoot through my body.

"I'm afraid, Riley." He finally speaks.

"Why?"

"Because I love you. So I don't know what that means for me or what it means for you. I just know that I love you. I don't know where it will take either of us or if it will ever take us anywhere. That's what the scary part is."

"Alex, I don't understand." I search his eyes for clues of what he means.

He takes a deep breath to collect his words a second time. "I want us to work again, Riley. I was wrong for reacting the way I did and I was so immensely wrong for doing what I did to get back at you. I am sorry for everything I've done and I apologize for every bad feeling I have ever given you. Even before all of this happened. I am sorry for anything I did before we even became famous."

Happiness shoots through me. "I want us to work again, too, Alex." I smile at him to reassure that I forgive me. I had forgiven him from the moment I woke up and saw his face and realized everything all over again.

"So, then, Riley," His tone suddenly risen. "Would you like to accompany me on a stroll through good old Baltimore when we leave this crumby place?"

I smile. "Baltimore?"

"Yes." He makes a realization as I was for an explanation as to why our home town. Wait, what hospital am I at? "Where am I, Alex?"

"Baltimore." He smirks and helps me out of bed. I can walk but I will not fuss about his arm wrapping around my waist and gripping me tightly. My eyes widen as I look out the window.

"What?" I say, a bit louder than I had wanted it to be. "How did I get here?"

"I asked for your transfer so that you would be closer to home. You've been home for about a week now. I wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd like it."

"I love it, but.." I trail off, unsure of what to even say. I am home. Real home. "What about the tour? Your music, Alex?"

He smiles. "We will talk about that later. Don't worry about it." I let it go, but of course I'll worry about it.

Before we can continue our conversation, they rest of the guys walk in. It's just Ryan, Zack and Jack though. They all have some of the widest grins I have ever seen them wear on their faces. They had seen me earlier but I was still resting. This is the first they've seen me standing.

Jack is the first to run over to me, nearly bulldozing Alex over. No surprise, really. "Riley!" He shouts and hugs me, his long thin arms wrap twice around my body. The way he hugs me I can tell I have lost weight.

"Jack," I sigh into his shoulder. I hug him tightly and he squeezes back, forcing tears from my eyes. "Oh my God, I've missed you." My voice cracks and tears start to stain his blue shirt.

"I don't even wanna hear it, Ri." He chuckles lightly. "I've been without you and you've been sleeping." I laugh quietly and he releases me, gripping my shoulders and looking into my eyes and smiling before releasing me to Zack.

Zack's muscular arms wrap delicately around me. "I'm afraid I'll break ya, Riley. You've lost so much weight."

"Zack," Ryan warns.

"Sorry," He mumbles. "It's wonderful to see you again." He moves out of the way for Ryan. Ryan has always been more mature than the rest of us. He's collected as well. Ryan is what always keep the group from doing something much too stupid and when they acted out, he'd be the first to open his mouth. He's kind of the parent of the group, but he still has fun with us.

Ryan holds my arms and looks me over in a concerned but happy way. "You don't look so hot," He jokes and smirks. I roll my eyes at him. "I'm serious! We've gotta get some junk food in you!"

"Let's order pizza!" Jack insists. "I'll pay." He is eager like a child.

"I guess if you're paying." Ryan laughs and hugs me. His hugs are warm and safe.

When we pulls away, I lean against the window sill until Alex comes over and wraps his arm around me again, assisting me.

Jack winks and eyes us up. "Are you and item again?" He says in a seductive voice. I look at Alex for an answer and my stomach rolls in fear and excitement.

"Yes," Alex smiles and looks down at me and kisses my forehead. I can't help but grin wide. He is back. We are back. I have never been so happy.