Bad Enough For You (Alex Gaskarth Fan Fiction)

Moaning Tainted Names

~~~~Riley’s Point Of View~~~~

               “A date?” I croak as Vic sits beside me on my bunk, his arm wrapped around me as I lean into him, shaking and shuddering. The rest of the guys stayed back for an after party but seeing my shape, Vic offered to come back with me. I greatly appreciated that. Although a lot of this mess is due to him, he’s trying to make up for it.

               “I don’t know what he’s thinking.” Vic finally breaks the silence. “How do you know her?”

               “Back in school she was always so horrible to me. She found my scars one day and she never let it go. She was horrible, Vic. Alex stood up for me and now he’s going on dates with her!” I feel more tears pour from my eyes and he silently strokes my hair.

               “She seemed so nice,” He says breathlessly.

               I shake my head. “Vic, I must be the worst.” He pulls back so he can look at me, his eyes filled with concern and pity. God, do I hate pity.

               “You’re the best.” Vic corrects with a sad smile. I try to force on a smile, but as the corners of my mouth twitch up, I feel pain from doing so and immediately drop them back down, my eyes following suit. Nothing makes much sense to me anymore. I never thought I would be that idiot who would do this, who would fuck everything up. I look at my wrist and toward the bracelet that has his fucking perfect name on it. Vic’s eyes follow mine. “He still wears his if it means anything to you.”

               I freeze momentarily, which shocks my heart, as it does the opposite. It races in my chest as something courses through me. Maybe hope, even if it’s a sliver of hope, there’s hope on my hopeless case. Why would he still be wearing it? I raise my eyes to look at Vic. “He was?” I finally blubber out.

               “Yeah, he hasn’t taken it off once that I know of.” And this time, the smile I force doesn’t kill every fiber in my body and exhaust every muscle in my face. Instead, I feel the corners naturally twitch up, forcing me to complete this desire to somewhat smile. “If it makes you feel any better, I see the looks Rian and Zack have when they see Alexia.”

               I nod. “None of us liked her after what she did to me, or even before what she did. She was never really good to Alex. They had dated before, they’ve been down this path and I’ve seen her destroy him.” I pause, feeling my stomach knotting up. “I destroyed him too..” I trail off.

               “God damn it, Riley.” Vic says and jumps his feet, yanking me with him, as I still clutch onto him for comfort. “You didn’t do this. I did this whole fucking mess and I wish I could fix it, okay?”

               I’m shocked. I have no clue what to say.

               “Maybe I need to move on, just like Alex is.” I say more to myself than to Vic, who nods anyway at my words. “I just don’t love anyone and I can’t love anyone else, Vic. I just want this feeling to go away, you know? Just for a little while.”

               His eyes widen at my incident from the last time I decided I needed some kind of escape from these raw feelings of guilt I have. They’d found me in the tub, naked, which was fucking embarrassing alone, but found me trying to harm myself. Vic yanked it from my hands and pulled me out of the tub and gave me his shirt before hugging me tightly, despite the strange scenario. Jaime returned with the towel and as he went to grab clothes for me, I wrapped it tightly around my waist. Vic had pulled me close, whispering into my ear that I couldn’t do this. I promised.