Bad Enough For You (Alex Gaskarth Fan Fiction)

Just A Dream

“Riley, I love you.” I say quietly as she stands in front of me, frozen as if I wasn’t even there. A soft breeze was blowing through the air, throwing her hair in her face but she didn’t even pay attention to it. She wears a long black dress that blows with the wind. I gulp and take a few steps forward, watching as she takes a step backwards, toward the edge of the cliff. Every step I take toward her, she steps back. There’s no way to save her. She’s pushing me away, denying me.

“Riley,” I beg. “Tell me you love me.” I don’t know where these words are coming from. I don’t even know what I’m going to say until they already leave my mouth. I try to inch my foot forward, watching hers as I do. As expected, she pushes her foot back, mimicking my movements.

“Don’t come near me.” She finally speaks, her voice is very rough and cold to me. I snap back in response. “If you try and save me, you’ll only hurt yourself. Coming to me will only kill you.”

“I don’t care!” I shout, feeling my voice shake on its way out. “Don’t leave me here alone!” Tears start brimming. Maybe if I just jump toward her, surprise her; maybe she won’t know I’m coming. I’ll catch her, I’ll save her; save us. I bounce on my feet softly before I jump. Her eyes widen at first, but she lunges backwards over the cliff, sending her spirally down. “No!” I scream and reach toward her.

As she falls, she looks sad. Tears falls from her face until I can no longer see her as she crashes into the ocean. “Riley!” I shriek. “Come back to me, please!” That’s when I start sobbing uncontrollably.

“Alex!” I hear someone say, but it’s not Riley. I ignore it as I sob into the grass, yanking it out feverishly. “Alex!” It continues. I start shaking involuntarily, as if someone is grabbing me violently. “Alex, damn it, wake up!”

A sharp pain stings my cheek.

I feel my eyes flutter open. Everything is bright and blurry, burning me. “Alex,” I hear a voice say, relief bleeds deep into it. Finally, I can open my eyes, watching the blurriness fade. Leaning over me is Jack, Rian, and Zack. Shock is in every one of their eyes. “Alex, God damn you.” Jack says and lifts me into his arms, tightly hugging me. Zack runs out to get something and Rian kneels beside Jack and shakes his head.

“What happened?” I try to ask, but my voice is hardly there as I look around me. Jack pulls back and reaches beside me, grabbing something. He brings it to my face; a pill bottle and alcohol.

“Alex, why?” Jack asks. Zack returns with a bottle of water and hands it to Jack who opens it and passes it to me. I take a quick sip of it in hopes of regaining my voice.

“It’s not what it looks like.” I warn, my voice still half gone. When I speak, I feel my vocal chords shaking in protest as the sounds burn their way up my throat. They all raise their eye brows at me.

“Alex, you were locked in the bathroom with Dramamine and alcohol. What the fuck do you mean it wasn’t what we think? You’re trying to fucking kill yourself, man!” Rian shouts, his voice shaking.

“No, I wasn’t.” I correct them. I hold a hand so they know I’m going to explain. “I-I’ve been getting high off of them. I only did it twice. That’s what happened yesterday at the show. I needed something to make me feel happy. I don’t want to feel the raw emotions I have. I can’t deal with them.”

“Fucking hell, Alex.” Jack says. “How many have you taken?”

“The first time, I took eight. This time, I took fifteen and I was too late. The emotions were here and I didn’t want them. So I grabbed the beer, thinking it would move the process along. And I guess it did because I don’t remember much after that.”