Bad Enough For You (Alex Gaskarth Fan Fiction)

What A Bad Habit I've Adopted

The next morning, to my surprise, I wake up.

               I thought I’d never fall asleep in this fucking bunk. I’ve been so used to that luxurious bed with Riley in my arms, that everything else feels so wrong and uncomfortable. I can’t lay in that bed, not with her smell lingering on the pillows. I can’t sleep there with the memories flooding back of every touch we shared on that bed, every kiss.

               Groaning, I check the time, noticing it’s already half past noon. The last time I remember checking the time through my glassy and tired eyes, it was five in the morning. I had begun to write a song last night out of this feeling I had and I honestly don’t remember what I had written. Shaking my head, I conclude it was probably something stupid that made no sense coming from my emotionally ruined brain last night.

               Pushing the covers off of me as I pull my long sleeve back over my watch, I pull back the curtain and the bright light smacks my eyes and I wince, pulling back a few times before I can finally see correctly. I stumble my way to get some clothes and into the bathroom, not even bothering to knock. I turn on only the hot scolding water, letting it burn me as it hits my skin, pulling my mind away from everything temporarily. I take my time just to stand there after I wash myself, knowing the guys will scold me for this later.

               Finally, once the air is thick and hot, I turn off the water and step out. Quickly, I dry off my body and throw on my sweat pants and my white t-shirt, not caring what I look like. Oddly enough, I throw on my bleached red socks that are now pink, onto my feet. Once I open the bathroom door, the cold air hits me and I want to go back into the heat but I push on, making my way to the refrigerator, ignoring the guys as they say hello.

               I grab a bottle of water and take a small sip as I place two pieces of bread into the toaster, pressing down the handle. After about three minutes of waiting, Zack starts laughing at me. Without thinking, I shoot him a glare, but soften quickly, apologizing. “What’s so funny?”

               “The toaster in unplugged, Lex.” Zack chuckles and shakes his head at me.

               Sighing in frustration, I smack the handles back up, pulling out the raw bread. “Fuck it,” I say as I slop some strawberry jelly onto them and make my way to the far edge of the couch, curling myself into the corner away from everyone.

               I keep my eyes on the television, which right now is playing the news I care nothing for. I feel their eyes burning into me and I know if they catch my gaze, nothing will break them from forcing me to talk. “Alex,” Jack says sternly. I ignore him, not even flinching at my own name. I act as if I am not Alex, and to be honest, fuck, man, what I would give to be someone else. “Lex,” He says softly this time. He sighs.

               “Alex, talk to us.” Rian says and shuts the television off, cutting away my only excuse for a distraction. Shit.

               “Why?” I ask, surprised at my own voice. It’s cracking and it’s low, husky even. I shove the rest of the bread into my mouth, holding the second in my other hand.

               A ball of paper comes my way and my horrible reflects miss catching it and it hits the bread out of my hand and onto the floor. “Fuck, Jack, really?”

               “Shut up, Lexy, just read the damn paper.” Jack scolds, rolling his eyes as he makes his way over to me, napkin in hand as he cleans up the mess. Groaning, I straighten out the paper the best I possibly can and find my messy hand writing scribbled all around the paper.