From viewers' right to far right: Professor Donald Trump, Gov. Donald Bush, Dr. Donald Carson, Gov. Donald Christie, Sen. Donald Cruz, former HP CEO Donald Failurena, Gov. Donald Huckabee, Sen. Donald Rubio, Sen. Donald Santorum, and, alone in the very back row looking bewildered, Sen. Rand Paul.
Dateline Myassa: Faux O'Clock News©, a service of Faux News Myassa, Channel Faux.
2016 Grand Old Dementors (GOD) Party Presidential Debate platform unreconstructed with faux by faux's from the farthest right branches of Red Oak.
Faux News moderators: Lyda Dzgoldynzscheyzes and Emanuella H. Kruiken-Feist.
In an extremely ill-advised attempt to bring the GOD Party's 2016 mixed messages to the backwoods, a 327th debate was hastily scheduled in Myassa, Florida. Despite all candidates getting lost circling the Maya Waye Orda Highway, The Lord High Sheriff Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI found them and, using the heavily armed and armored military personnel carriers donated by the Merkin Army post at Fort Myassa, subdued and dragged GOD's master debaters kicking and screaming to the Newly Renovated Santorum Ballroom in time for the debate. In deference to the candidates' threats to hold their collective breath until they turned blue and died, they were all placed stage right.
After the opening harangue by Donald Trump, who was standing stage farthest right, Sen. Donald Cruz walked in front of Trump to stand even farther stage right for his harangue. As each candidate harangued, they each positioned themselves farther to the right of the previous candidate until all had exited farther and farther far right until they had fallen off the stage. Donald Trump's position never faltered. As the last man standing, Trump was asked the opening question by Lyda, who had Emanuella in a headlock to keep her away from the microphone and off camera. Although Trump didn't hear the question due to the noisy wrestling match in the moderators' booth, he presented a strong argument by calling the moderators boneheaded, ugly, stupid, bitches, sluts, hoes, bimbos, adulteraters, c*nts, manhaters, feministas, tw*ts, emasculating lezzies, commies, secret Moslems, jihadists, terrorists, c*ck candy, p*ssies, Obama's Lewinskys, ball busters, prostitutes, political correctioners, and in the final crescendo, liberals. He ended by declaring that, unlike with his daughter, he wouldn't bang either one of them. As he started to leave in an angry, self-righteous kerfluffle, he tripped, got both feet stuck in his mouth and toppled off the stage onto the rest of the candidates.
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IT'S PUNCTUATION, JIM. BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT.
HumorThe stories here are not presented chronologically. Myassa is not chronological, nor is it particularly geographical, just "north Florida". You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see i...
