Blueflameknight: Previously on RvB
Callan: Sarge is dead because some blue shot him in the head!
Caboose: Sorry
Blueflameknight: Alright then, onto the chapter folks
___________________________________________________________
We cut to a grey version of Blood Gulch where we see Sarge standing in a hill confused
Sarge: (Echoing) Hello?
No responses
Sarge: I said hello! Hello? Is anybody out there?
We then see Church running up to him
Church: (Echoing) Holy cow, would you stop yelling? I'm here.
Sarge: What is this place?
Church: Well, that's...Kinda hard to explain. Um...You were shot in the head, buddy. So, here ya are
Sarge: Am I dead?
Church: Are you dead? Well, yeah, that's how I ended up here
Sarge: Are you some kind angel?
Church: Haha, am I an angel? Uh, "Clears throat" Yeah, actually, I am. I'm an angel. Um, do you wanna go to Heaven? Cause it's, like, ten bucks to get in
Sarge: Well, I-I didn't really bring any-I mean, my wallet's back in the car
Church: Hey, you don't have it there, huh? Well, uh... that's too bad. Pretty crappy reason to be damned to Hell for an eternity.
Sarge: I don't remember dying
Church: Yeah, that's my fault too. I was...Sort of possessing your body at the time that you were shot. Sorry about that
Sarge: Hold on a second, that ain't fair
Church: Not fair? Yeah, join the frickin' club. I got shot by my own tank!
We then see Sheila aiming her cannon at Church
Sheila: "Target locked"
Church: (Looks at Sheila) Oh ha ha, very funny, Sheila. Shut up! You know, I still haven't forgiven you. I didn't say you could talk to me yet. Go over there. G-get- g-go over by the base. Shoo, shoo!
Sheila sadly lowers her cannon and drives away
(Meanwhile: In the Real World)
We then cut outside of Red Base where we see Callan, Grif, and Simmons stand over as the picture is distorted and weirdly wavy
Grif: Sarge! Don't give up on me soldier, do you hear me? I'm ordering you!
Callan: Grif he's dead! Sarge was shot in the head!
(Meanwhile: In The "Afterlife")
Sarge: Who is that? Who's there
Church: Looks like your guys are trying to save you
(Meanwhile: In the Real World)
We then see Grif giving Sarge CPR with his rifle
Grif: You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge!
Callan: Grif! Stop! He's gone....He's gone
(Meanwhile: In The "Afterlife")
Sarge: That is not the way you were trained to do that, Private!
Church: He can't hear you
(Meanwhile: In the Real World)
Simmons: Grif, this isn't working. We have to try something else
Callan: Oh god Simmions you don't mean-
(Meanwhile: In The "Afterlife")
Church: If he gives you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving
(Meanwhile: In the Real World)
Simmons: Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth
Callan: I-Actually yeah go ahead Grif
(Meanwhile: In The "Afterlife")
Church: I'm leaving
Sarge: I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me
Church: Why wouldn't they? I mean, my team didn't, but why wouldn't yours?
Sarge: I thought they didn't like me
Church: Aw, don't sell yourself short. Don't even know you, and here I am about to guide you to Heaven for only five bucks.
Sarge: Hold on. If you're an angel, how come you ain't got no wings?
Church: Because nobody rang a bell. Ha ha ha, seriously do you have the money or don't you?
Sarge: Oh, I feel the worst about Grif. I always made fun of him. I never even told him...He was my son
Church: No way! The orange guy is your son?!
Sarge: Nah! I just wanted to screw with him one last time. But now I'll never get that chance. Besides, the son I would have is Callan. He's a good boy
(Meanwhile: In The Real World)
Grif: He's breathing! I saved Sarge!
Callan: What the fuck?! How?!
(Meanwhile: In The "Afterlife")
Sarge: I'm what?
Church: He's what?
Sarge: Well, I'll be a monkey's....They saved me
Church: What? No, come back! We need to even the sides!
Sarge: Thanks for your help, wingless angel fella! Will I remember any of this?
Church: Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!
(Meanwhile: In The Real World)
Sarge coughs as he gains consciousness. He slowly stands up in front of Callan, Grif, and Simmons and looks at them
Sarge: "Clears throat" What...What happened here?
Simmons: Sir, you got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir
Callan: I'm still shocked that worked, and even if that worked, you would have brain damage or something
Sarge: I always believed in you, Simmons
Simmons: Uh, actually, it's Grif you should thank, sir. He did all the work
Sarge: Grif?
Simmons: Yes, sir
Sarge: (Looks at Grif) Grif...Why in Hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick of sense
Grif: "Sigh" You're welcome, sir
Sarge: I mean it's all so damn inconsistent! What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera?
Callan: "Sighs in relief" Good to have you back Sarge
The screen then fades to black
THE END
YOU ARE READING
Why Are We Here? (Red Vs Blue x Male OC)
FanfictionWelcome to Blood Gulch. Where there are two opposing sides that are in a war, the Blue Team and Red Team, and the soldiers on each side living there................Are all idiots. Follow the red soldier Callan Frazier as he experiences the wonders...
