In Your Eyes // Steve Rogers

12

Sifting through the leaked S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't easy. I had been at it for months. Along with the search for Barnes and the scepter, I decoded hundreds of pages a day, seeking the boatloads of data that involved mine or my families information. I wanted to know every bit of information about me that was exposed to the world.

Asking Jarvis to search for files including my name was an option. It didn't take long to deny myself the option of it. If I had, I risked the chance of Tony finding out. The files were something I wished to find on my own and keep to myself, mainly due to the secret I was asked to keep.

The night Steve and I discovered Arnim Zola, we were introduced to HYDRA's existence within S.H.I.E.L.D. Additionally, the secret I was asked to withhold from Tony was a twist on his parents death's. The world believed they were killed in a freak car accident. Steve and I knew the truth: it wasn't a freak accident. Somehow, someway, the Winter Soldier caused it.

Deep down, I wondered if something similar might have happened to my own parents. My mother and father were murdered when I was six years old. Since they graduated High School, my parents worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. It was where they met each other. Ten years later, they quit to fully focus on raising me. On their last mission, bringing in a simple hit man, they were killed.

Directory Fury claimed it was an accident. I hadn't looked into it ever before. With new knowledge coming into the light, I was second-guessing everything that happened. I found their official death reports, which hadn't strayed from what Fury told me about their deaths. I searched for HYDRA's death report, or, at the least, information in HYDRA's database about my parents. There was a reason behind their deaths. It wasn't bad luck.

"Ms. Blake," chimed Jarvis, "The Captain is trying to reach you. Shall I put him through?"

"Of course, Jarvis, thank you," I said.

Steve's voice broke through the silence. "Clara, you there?" he asked.

"Present!" I called, "Well, technically, no, I am not present, but-"

"Yeah, we get it, Blake. Look, Barton got hurt pretty bad, could you use a portal and get him out of the quinjet? Just help him survive until Helen Cho gets there," interrupted Natasha urgently.

"No, don't risk Tony finding out," protested Barton, "I'll survive the ride."

"Clint--" said Natasha.

"Stop fussing over me. The reveal will be worth it, I know it. No need for your portals, Clara," assured Barton. He proceeded to get scolded by Natasha.

Steve stole the phone once more. In a hushed tone, he asked, "So, have you thought about what I said? About joining."

"Uh, a little bit. I'm a bit more preoccupied working on my parent's case," I admitted.

"Clara."

"Steven."

"All I'm asking is for you to stop pushing it off. I can't go into it right now without people listening in--"

"Hey!" shouted Tony, offended.

"--but I do believe you earned a spot on this team when you took down HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. with me. You proved yourself. What are you afraid of?"

Struggling for loopholes, ways to get myself out of the conversation, I stuttered, "Well, Sam should get a spot, too, I think. He did much better than I did and I truly believe he is a worthy Avenger. Those wings? Beautiful. I mean, he had some exquisite--"

"This is a lost cause, isn't it?" sighed Steve, "Fine. You don't want to join. I won't ask anymore of it."

"I'm sorry, Steve, I don't mean to make you upset, it's just me. Every reason I don't want to join is because of myself," I said softly.