In Your Eyes // Steve Rogers

Aftermath

A flash of white spread across the field. Blinking profusely, I tried to find Thanos and Thor. My ears were ringing. Nausea set in my stomach; something was wrong.

"What'd you do?" said Thor, panicking. "What did you do?"

I saw smoke coming from the Infinity Gauntlet. It was burning, the metal was crushed, but it clearly worked to some degree, as Thanos clenched it and dispersed from in front of our eyes.

I grabbed the spear with my hands and burnt what was sticking out of my chest to ash. I was able to get the sharp end from the ground with the help of Thor's might. He didn't look upon me with worry, solemn— we had no words to exchange. We knew exactly what had happened.

"Thor? Clara?" said Steve, running to us. He looked frazzled, as though he had just gained consciousness, but he felt the shift, too. "Where'd he go? Where'd he go?"

A confused voice called out to us: Steve?"

Bucky was raising his arm in the air. We watched, all together, as the tips of his fingers began to turn to dust. His right leg started to crumble and gave way. By the time he hit the floor, Bucky Barnes was nothing but a pile of dust.

Steve watched his best friend fall with little to no reaction because, loss after loss, after over a hundred years of failure and battle, he found out was still capable of losing.

My heart shattered. I frantically whipped my head to find where the others had gone. In the constant explosions, their unconscious bodies were continually rolled away from our original battlegrounds. I sprinted to find Sam. If I could salvage him, if I could ensure he would survive, at least then Steve wouldn't lose another.

"Sam!" I screamed. "Sam, where are you?"

He had been grounded at the start of the battle and hadn't been able to move, due to injury. He was laying on his stomach, his hand reaching for me. I heard him say my name breathlessly, filled with hope for someone finding him, and then, just like Bucky, Sam turned to dust.

I cried out in despair. I turned, wishing I could turn my back and erase the sight from my memory. I stumbled back to where Steve was; it became a sudden necessity to keep him in my eyesight.

I watched T'Challa, wide-eyed and clueless of what was happening, reach to help Okoye to her feet. With the words of, "Up, General, this is no place to die," T'Challa fell to dust.

I watched Groot crumble as Rocket reached for him.

Steve and I saw each other from across the field and didn't break eye contact until we were together. He reached for me and embraced me, tucking my head into his chest. I didn't want to watch any longer. I couldn't. I felt sickly, like I was reliving each of their pain, but on a scale undreamt of. It was my Stone causing this destruction, this death. I felt the universe crumbling in my chest; I felt the voices of half the universe being silenced.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered blankly. He was just as lost as I was. "I don't know what to do."

I sobbed. I sobbed into his chest because we had failed. We lost Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Wakanda lost their King, Groot, and countless of millions of other precious lives and I felt nauseous down deep into every part of my being because we hadn't saved the day.

"I have to go," I sobbed to him, trying to break free from him. I took small, dragging steps away from him. "I have to go to Titan. I need to know who made it."

"Clara, no, what if it isn't over, what if you don't come back?" asked Steve hopelessly, grabbing my wrist.

I pressed my hand over his heart. I had to go. "There is nowhere you can be that I won't be with you," I told him urgently. "I am always, always with you. But I need to fix this."

"How do you know you can?" he asked.

"I don't. I have to try. This world, every world has no idea what's happening. They're losing their loved ones, all across the universe, and I feel every one of them because it was my power source that just did that," I said quickly. I shook my head as I looked around us, at the survivors. Thor, Rocket, Steve, Natasha, and Rhodes, Bruce. "There's a reason we were spared. It wasn't chance. I know it in my bones, and we're gonna make this right."

Steve didn't know what else to say. Again, we were at a place of necessary departure when all we wanted to do was stay together. "But I just got you back."

"They deserve you here," I disagreed. "They need a leader, a Captain. I can't lead them. I need to be on the run."

"Let me come with you," Steve suggested. "Wherever you're going, let me follow."

"Things with Agamotto aren't going to end well. I can't have you in the crossfire— he will kill you. You belong here, Steve. I belong out there," I told him honestly. "Traveling space, talking to people, finding out what can be done to fix this. It doesn't end here."

Steve exhaled a short breath. He didn't have it in him to argue with me any longer. He heard what I said and agreed, though he didn't admit it. I was filled with too much power for it to be wasted on Earth. I was meant to fly.

Steve nodded. He took my hand and squeezed it. Words were nonexistent anymore. What could you say to someone after half of the universe just perished?

"When I return, it'll be with a plan. Thanos isn't getting away with this," I told him.

Thor raised his head. "Where are you going?"

"Searching," I told him, raising my voice for the others to hear. "The universe has answers. I'm going to find them."

"Best of luck, Clara," said Thor hopefully.

I nodded to him. The corners of my lips raised into a sad smile when I looked at the friends I was leaving behind, yet again.

I stepped to Steve and brought our foreheads together as I wrapped a hand behind his head to bring it down to me. "I love you," I whispered to him, only him. "I'll be back soon."

Steve didn't say anything. He just kissed my forehead and remained silent.

Sighing, I turned my back on him and our friends. I looked at the space in front of me, with the mental intention to return to Agamotto, and I was granted with a portal. I jumped through; the first step to the journey of fixing what ruin Thanos had brought.