In Your Eyes // Steve Rogers

Kiss Me Once

Steve led me to the end of our dock. He set down the lantern behind us as we sat together, kicking off our shoes and sliding our feet into the water. It was chilled water, we giggled about it, but it was tradition. Any serious talk we had took place at the end of this dock, with our feet in the water. We both knew this talk would change our relationship, as all the others had, and we were facing it bravely.

I put my hand on his. He wiggled his fingers between the cracks of my fingers to hold my hand. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I love you, you know," I sang to him quietly.

"I do know," he whispered back, a smile in his voice. "Why this time?"

"On the battlefield, when the shots were raining down, and you told me to do the thing I did at the Triskelelion. It was you. I've just come so far from that, you know? It was barely an option for me to use my portals when I have just power, now. I can throw my body into an army and burn everything. I just... I don't know. Such a simple reminder just reminded me of who I was before Agamotto. I've almost forgotten who I was before it."

"But I'm proud of how far you've come. Thor's right with the whole strongest Avenger, and all."

"Second."

Steve and I shared a laugh that died out quickly. What started as a quiet, unsure talk failed entirely as I mentioned my powers. A tense air fell over our conversation. As I took my head from his shoulder, we found ourselves staring at our laps, wondering who was going to speak first. The topic was easy: the return of my powers. Deciding who was going to divulge first was the hard part. Thinking about what the end of the conversation held for us gave me a horrid feeling in my stomach. I feared for his words as equally as he feared mine.

"I saw your face back in New York," I rambled quickly, at the same time he said, "I know exactly what you're going to do."

We both paused. I squinted my eyes at him, he raised his eyebrow at me. He decided to continue. Our hands found themselves back in our laps. We stared at our swinging feet in the water instead of looking at each other.

"I know exactly what you're going to do," he repeated quietly. "You're going to go back up there. You're gonna do what you dreamed of doing for the last five years. Everyone knows it. I know it, you do. I can't compete with that."

"You can," I disagreed. "If I asked you what you want me to do, if I offered to stay, you would still say no, Steve. It's me before you. That's how this has always been. But even if I stay here on Earth, I would travel, and you don't want that. You want to settle and I don't. We just want different things for where we are in life, and I-I've thought about every scenario, every compromise."

"What's the verdict?" he wondered.

"This Steve, this tired, overworked, partly retired Steve," I whispered, reaching to caress his face. He chuckled. "And this other-worldly Clara aren't meant to be together. We grew up together, we changed each other. But my verdict is we weren't meant to last forever. I think we were supposed to be together for these wonderful ten years. I believe that so dearly, Steve, but..."

"I know. I feel it, too," he mumbled.

"We lived the domestic life. We lived the Superhero life. But if I'm meant to go to the Stars... I think you're meant to settle," I continued. "'Nothing that we do in our past affects our future.'"

Steve's eyebrows came closer together. "What are you talking about?"

"You're not going to ask me to stay here with you. This is the end of our road. I'm going back to the Stars. I think you deserve to get your dream, to settle down. I think you deserve to do that with someone who can," I said. I tried not to let my voice quiver, though I felt a lump start to form in my throat.