In Your Eyes // Steve Rogers

Stay

Departure on the Benetar took less than an hour. It required everyone to change into their battle gear, it required Bruce to bring the Hulkbuster armor on the ship.

Steve carried me into our bedroom. He set me on the edge of the bed and folded my hands together to keep pressure on my wound. He then drug through the bottom drawer of the dresser, retrieving my old Avengers uniform.

We didn't speak. I couldn't look at him. My eyes remained on the floor as he took my clothes off and replaced them with my padded uniform. I could have cared less whether or not I had protective gear. I had no power to do anything if Thanos had decided to kill me when we arrived.

After he changed, he held out his hand for me and we walked together through the Compound to the front lawn. We hiked up the ramp of the Benetar and brought up the rear of our team.

I disregarded Steve's hand. I sat in the first open seat I saw, buckled in, and let my eyes rest on my kneecaps.

Steve sat beside me. As he buckled in, the ship started to shake as it roared to life.

"All right," said Rocket. He and Carol were sitting at the forefront to pilot. I heard the ramp behind us close. "Who here hasn't been to space?"

Rhodey, Natasha, and Steve raised their hands.

"Better not throw up on my ship," he said.

Steve gripped the sides of his chair. I saw him spare a glance to me.

Carol smirked. "Approaching jump in three... Two... One."

The Benetar lurched into hyperspeed. I watched everyone who sat in front of my eyes smush against their seats. I watched the knuckles of Steve and Natasha turn white. Rhodey accidentally dented the chair handles with how hard he gripped.

But it was beautiful. To go from the blue sky I had been staring up at since I was a child to the cosmic entity that was space was a drastic change. Sparkling hues of blue, purple, and yellow flew past our ship as we jumped through space.

It didn't last long. Piloting at hyperspeed decreased the time it took to travel from place to place. I had been mesmerized by the colors of space for a mere few minutes before it was replaced by the twinkling blackness of space. In the distance, a yellow planet floated. Thanos.

Carol and Rocket set the ship to its park function. Those of us who had been in space unbuckled, casting our eyes to those who hadn't. The three looked queasy, but refrained from throwing up.

"Are you all right?" I said softly to Steve, bending over in front of him to unbuckle his restraints.

Steve nodded, although his eyes seemed glossy.
He moved slower than he anticipated as he stood. He and Natasha caught each other's eye and chuckled softly. They shared the common thought of who would have thought they would have made it to space in their lifetime?

Carol announced she would head down for recon. She entered into the hatch where the Guardians formerly had their Escape Pod, Rhodey hit the release button, and she dropped into the void of space. I turned to the front window to watch her, encapsulated in a streak of light, fly through the atmosphere.

I watched her with envy. I never knew if I was able to manipulate my powers to fly, but to watch her love her abilities, to have faith in herself, and absolute power by that of just existing. It used to be me. I was blessed to have my powers— I loved them, I loved myself when I had them. Now, without them... I didn't know what I could say for myself.