Hello, Stockholm Syndrome: My Pity Killer Series

Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Stop

Des' POV

"I thought you weren't going to come back," Ric whispered to me as I walked through his door. He sat on his bed and watched as I tried to calm myself.

"I need to speak to Lita," I started after a while and he shook his head. "I just sneaked you in and you're looking all crazy with blood all over you. Did you kill someone?" he asked and I stopped pacing to finally look at him.

I wasn't a killer; she was a monster, right? And yet, I felt ridden with guilt. Her eyes screamed for mercy, but she wasn't deserving of it. When did I become God? Why did I get to decide and choose who lived and who didn't?

"Des, please tell me you didn't just kill someone," he reached for my shoulders, a bit hesitant until he saw my hurt expression. I couldn't stop the tears flowing, because I hated myself. I became a monster, a complete mirror of Monte and the Samosas.

It was why I killed her; she was a Samosa. She was the enemy, always. I vowed to protect humanity, but being like her; this power and hunger. I was the enemy too, but I wasn't ready to die. Although I hated Monte for doing this to me, a part of me had become grateful for a second chance at life and that was exactly what I was afraid of. I didn't want to get comfortable in this life, and yet here I was. Still ordering and demanding things as if I had every right to do so.

"I killed one of them." "One of whom?" he asked, and I stared at my bloodied hands. "A Samosa. She was trying to help me; she was the one that changed me." "How? I thought they weren't killable?" he asked and I shrugged.

"I just ripped her heart out," I choked on my words, "like it was nothing." "Calm down," his arms slowly lowered to my own and pulled me into a hug. "It's alright, she was our enemy."

I calmed a bit at his words; our? Did he still consider me a...friend?

"They're coming for you," I pulled away, and he realized the moment had lingered a bit too long for comfort. We were never close; but after Elena's death, the man became a nice confidant. "But we have the upper hand, we have you," he started but I raised my hands, stopping him.

"I am exhausted and I did almost kill a human to feed. Fighting her took a lot of energy and she was weak. I was fueled by anger and she wasn't prepared for me. I can't fight them; I can't kill another one. I know I can't."

"Are you afraid?" "I am selfish, I don't want to die, Ric." "What happened to dying to protect, Des?" "If you're not paying attention, I'm not Des anymore. I am completely different, Ric. We all are, with Monte changing and betraying us; nothing is the same."

"Then why did you come here? If you don't care?" he asked. He was getting angry; I could tell by the way his heart rate jumped.

I could hear every pulse and I felt my throat dry up.

"Because I...I don't know. I just don't want any more people to die." "But you're our only hope, Des. You have to fight with us."

"Ric, I just need to talk to Lita. I need you guys to shut down, permanently until this blows over. She's coming and you need to relocate. Continue to cure people and then maybe we can fight then. We're not strong enough."

"No," he shook his head, "you can't just pick and choose when you want to be a part of the team. Elena had faith in you, dammit I have faith in you. You can't abandon us, Des. I am afraid that I will die, but I am going in and I don't have nearly the same strength and will power as you. What are you afraid of?"

He had me there, because I had no clue. Beforehand, my only fear was losing my brother, but since he was gone, I was never fearful of losing my life.

"Is it Monte? Are you afraid to see what he's become?"