❤Leave

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Lena sat in her Office and stared off into the distance. Her dark hair fell in curls on to her shoulders and framed her strong jaw line. The green and always so passionat eyes of the young ceo seemed cold. Almost lifeless. The small wrinkles on pale skin had shown to become deeper over the last few days and dark circles underlined Lenas eyes.

She stared at the wall, to be more exact at a picture. In the frame were she and a pretty blonde, captured laughing and holding each other. Alex had taken it on a gamenight some months ago and since them it had become one of Lenas favourite pictures.
Because for the first time in her Life she looked careless. No threats from her brother, no burden to be perfect and no fear to loose it all again. Only big smiles and soft looks.

The memory of Kara holding her and the light scent of vanilla and for some strange reason cotten candy, flashed through her. Kara always had been a touchy person. The blonde loved hugging her friends and the reporter always managed to make all of Lenas sorrows go away. But that wouldn't happen anymore. Lena sighed and shrugged off the sudden feeling of nostalgia. "You are better than this Lena!", She said to herself and got up.

The brunette walked over to the balcony that was attached to the steril office. She stepped out and took in the fresh air to sober her thoughts, wich had been bewildered whiskey she drunk earlier that evening. It was dark and somewhere beneath the citylights, there were stars painted in the Sky like golden lanterns. "You are a Luthor!", Lena told to someone who perhaps was waiting in the dark.

Perhaps somebody who wouldn't care about it. Someone who finally would not judge her for the crimes of her family and would give the young woman a chance.

That was all she had ever wanted. From the time she started school, going on to graduation, till this day. The brunette did have her hope. When she met Kara, everything seemed to fall into place. When she rembered the big blue eyes and that shy smile the blonde had given her when the first met in this exact office three years ago, a feeling of happyness and warmth, went through her stomach.

They became friends rather fast and before Lena even realized it, she trusted the other women with every bare Inch of her body. "I will always be your friend" Kara had told her that once. Two? Three years ago? Lena remembered that moment and at the time, that was what she wanted, even needed to hear. And the feeling of being cared for, for the first time, had been amazing. It was like a drug that made her feel good, warm and save.

Yeah, Karas embraces had become her drug and now loosing them and finding out that they had probably not been real? That was the the most diffecult and painfull realisation. The rehab would be bad, and she would ache to be in the other womens arms again. A fluttering sound bothered the young woman in her thoughts and curious what could have caused the distraction, she looked up.

There was Kara, flying in her suit. A concerned look on her face, she asked: "Miss Luthor? Is everything alright?" The Adressed slowly shook her head and backed away from the edge of the balony. "Can I help you with something?", Lena asked. Kara shook her head, her expression thoughtfull. "Did something happen Miss Luthor?" The brunette swallowed. "Nothing I'm not used to, Supergirl.". Calling her best friend that, now that she knew the truth, did cut like a knife. "What do you mean? Used to?" Lena turned around. "Being betrayed. It happens surprisingly often."

The blonde looked seriouse as she said: "Tell me who and I will throw them into the sun!"
The mild joke was supposed to lift the mood but Lena just shook her head. "Suicide? Isn't that a bit radical?".
"I'm not sure what you mean?".
"Still lying, Supergirl?". Lenas voice was calm and steady. "I forgot, that isn't your Name".

The superhero now really looked worried. Lena found herself slightly giggeling. "All those years. And you never told me... It's interesting that everytime I make a desicion for myself it all ends up in broken peaces." She laughed. The blonde avoided the other womens gaze.

"Tell me, were you ever going to tell me? Or did you want to wait till I would break to point where there is no going back?" Kara looked at her with her big, blue eyes.
"No Lena! Don't think that!"
Lena raised an eyebrow. "What am I supposed to think? That you were trying to protect me? That it was the only way that I could stay save?"

"No. It wasn't that. Maybe in the beginning, but it became something more. You were the only person I could be only Kara with. Everyone always expects something from me. Even my sister. I got tired of that. But with you? I didn't hide. I was my most true self, for the first time in years!".

The Alien landed on the balcony and now stood right in front of Lena.
"I can't believe you that", the brunette refused.
Tears started streaming down the blondes cheeks. "Why?"
"Because this is the breaking Point. You were the final straw, Supergirl". The blonde cried: "Please, can you call me by my name?".
The Luthor looked at her former best friend.
"No.", she simply said.
"please! I will do anything!", Kara begged. "It's to late for that." Lenas voice was emotionless. It almost scared her.

"Please, I don't want to loose you! I can't loose you!". Lena tried to hide the tears. "You don't need me". Kara fell onto her knees. She was sobbing.

"I do!". Lena twisted her neck and tried to ignore the other woman. "You don't!", she repeated, as she tried to sell the lie more to herself than to herself. "How do you know that?", Kara asked. Lena smiled a bit. "Because the world will keep on moving even if I'm not with you. You would go back to your friends. Save the world from time to time and you wouldn't waste another thought on me. You're lying to yourself If you think it would be different."

The brunette slowly walked over to the door. Before she could go in, she turned around one last time.
"Do you know what the worst thing about this was?". Kara looked up. "What?"
"That I loved you so much, that I couldn't see it myself." She went in. Before sitting down at her deskt again, she looked outside. Kara was still there, crying. Lena calmly whispered: "Please, please just leave,i can't do it anymore".


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