Small Anomalies (Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction)

Chapter 11: Keeping Her

Raeann's POV

Thoughts spin through my mind at a hundred miles an hour, tearing at my feelings and overwhelming me. I need to be brave for this. I can't act like a child.

I breathe deeply, inhaling my fear. I regain a strong and confident posture, preparing myself for when Erik gets back. He said it would take about three hours, and it's already been one.

I walk through the hallway, humming to myself. I swing the door open to my room and breathe in the air that reminds me so much of my time here with Erik. My violin case remains open in the spot I left it last night.

I decide to shower before I leave. After all, I do have two hours to spare. I fiddle with the knob until cold water squirts out of the showerhead. I take off my shirt and hop into the shower, careful not to get my stitches wet. My wound doesn't hurt anymore and I'll get the stitches out in a few weeks.

I watch the water trickle down my legs and onto the shower floor while squirting body wash onto my hand from the bottle. My mind dwells, and I nearly use a bar of soap on my head. I still can't get over the thought of Erik killing a man.

He doesn't have to know that I know. I could just leave without saying anything to him about that. I'll be safe.

I shake my head and rinse out my hair. I'll never be able to change the fact that I love him. God, I love him so much. I love him with all my heart and soul and now I must leave him.

Teardrops and shower water land on the floor and before I know it, I'm shaking and leaning against the wall. Why is this so complicated? Why couldn't I have met Erik under normal circumstances? Why did he have to kill somebody?

Anger and fear and sadness stir inside me and I feel nauseous. I don't want to leave Erik, ever. I have to leave for my own safety. I have to leave because he doesn't love me. I have to leave because I never should have left home in the first place.

"Daddy," I whisper. "What do I do? You'd know exactly what to say right now. I just... I need you here with me. You and Mom."

I wipe my tears and turn off the shower. I open the curtain and struggle to reach the closet where the towels are kept. I eventually manage to get a fluffy white one without the floor becoming too wet.

As I dry myself off, I rehearse how it will go when Erik comes back. I know I'll have to act as normal as possible. Be Raeann. Be the Raeann he knows.

Who is the Raeann he knows? I begin to panic. How have I been acting here? Do I say hey or hello? Do I smile a lot? When do I smile? Should I-

I shake my head and take a deep breath. "Stop over-thinking things," I reassure myself. "You'll know what to do." I give a weak smile to my reflection in the mirror above the sink before stepping into my room.

I brush my fingertips across the yellow walls I've grown to love so much. This particular room in Erik's house doesn't match the rest of his design. It's always reminded me of a hotel room in the middle of a palace. Out of place.

I tug on Erik's shirt that I've lived in for five days and smile. I've had many good times, from reading with Erik to listening to his music to our snowball fight. I'll miss everything about Erik. His kindness, his music, how mysterious he is, his mask.

My mind goes back to the white mask that's frustrated me. I wish to know what's underneath it, no matter how much I know I can't. I don't want to hurt Erik. I would never want to hurt him.

I remember how broken he is. He's honestly quite fragile. If I say the wrong thing, I feel like he'll explode. Or shatter into a million pieces.

From the fragments of his life he's let slip, I know he's had the complete opposite of a good one. Erik's life has definitely been worse than mine, though I've gone through the lose of my parents. While they were alive, my parents had cared for me and loved me.