Small Anomalies (Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction)

Chapter 18: Nightmares

Raeann's POV

I spend most of the day laying in my bed and occasionally crying. Erik has been absolutely silent for eight hours, which alarms me because he usually composes  when he wants an escape or has something on his mind. Instead, he's barricaded himself in his room.

I wrap myself in the covers and wonder what I did wrong. I didn't mean to say anything that offended him. I just wanted him to know that I care about him more than anything else.

What did I do wrong? As much as I want to know what it is that caused him to leave so suddenly, I know I can't interrupt him. I can only guess what he's doing in there.

I check the clock and see that it's almost seven. I haven't eaten since our makeshift Thanksgiving feast, but I'd rather lay in bed than get food.

After debating, I pull myself out of bed. My feet feel heavy as I walk to the bedroom door, which Erik didn't bother to lock. I'm sure he knows I could easily escape, but I won't choose to. I can't be without him.

Instead of heading straight to the kitchen, I turn and walk to the end of the hallway, where Erik's room is. I've been in before, but I know I shouldn't invade his privacy. When I look through the keyhole, I see him sitting on his bed with his face in his hands, in deep thought.

Has he been sitting there this whole time? I know perfectly well that Erik, of all people, is capable of being still for that long. He's not used to be around other people, so I guess when you're alone you learn how to live like that.

I can't stand it that Erik has been cast into solitude his whole life because of something so stupid. People nowadays pretend that they think being different is okay, but they're never true to their claims. Nobody deserves to live in darkness.

I glance back at Erik's figure and realize that his mask is on the bed next to him. His right side is facing me, so I would be able to see his deformity if his hands weren't covering it. I'm curious, but I won't stop loving him.

I want everything to be okay. I want Erik to come out of his room and we can cuddle in the library like before. I want us to pretend like this disaster never happened; like we met in normal circumstances. I want him close to me, and I never want to leave his side. I then realize that I need to tell him if I ever want a chance to have that.

I pull away from the door and rest my back against the wall adjacent to it. How do I confess my love? I have to wait until the perfect moment... But when?

I decide that I'll think better when my stomach is full. I sigh and creep down the stairs, trying not to disrupt Erik. I need to let him think about everything that happened.

I search through the pantry, disappointed at the lack of quality food. Erik only gets supplies once every two weeks, plus he doesn't eat much at all.

I settle on another apple from the fridge. I also pour myself a glass of water, wondering how Erik has working plumbing in the middle of the woods. He's a genius, so he obviously figured something out.

I trudge to the table and sit in my normal seat. I munch on my apple, but find that I don't have much of an appetite. I put my hand out on the table in front of me, longing to feel Erik's hand; pretending he's there.

____

I shiver in bed and pull my blankets closer. Shuddering at the breeze, which is colder in the nighttime, I think back to Erik. I checked a few minutes ago to find him fast asleep on his bed, this time with his mask on. I'm glad he's getting sleep--he looked like he could use it--but I lay, restless.

Suddenly, I hear a scream of pain from Erik's bedroom. I jump from my bed and bound down the hallway, barreling towards the door. I shake the doorknob, only to find it locked.

I sprint back to my bedroom and pull my screwdriver off the dresser. I return to the door with it in my hand. Frantically, I pick the lock in record time. The door swings open and I see Erik in the same position as earlier.

His hands cover his masked face, and he's hunched over on the side of the bed. This time, however, he's shaking. Listening carefully, I hear him crying.

"Erik," I whisper and walk over the his quivering figure. I place a hand on his shoulder, like a mother comforting a child.

"Erik, are you alright?" He nods weakly, but I can tell he's the complete opposite.

I sit next to him, feeling the mattress creak under our weight. I lean in to wrap my arms around him and smile at his scent and warmth. He lowers his hands from his face, but keeps his head down like he's embarrassed.

"Nightmare?" I rest a hand on his shoulder once I break apart from him. He shakes his head.

"A memory."

I swallow back tears at the thought of something in Erik's past causing him so much pain. I put my hands on his shoulders at turn him to face me.

"I'm here," I whisper soothingly. "You're safe."

Before Erik can answer, I embrace him tightly and rest my head on his shoulder, savoring the feeling of him against me. I want a life with him. I want a life like this. But I can't tell him how I feel now.

I focus on hugging him and I feel his tears against my skin. I want him to feel safe with me, and I yearn to be close to him. I love him more than I can even fathom, and here in his arms is the only place I'm meant to be.

I pull away from him after what seems like an eternity. Suddenly, an idea pops into my mind.

"I'll be right back," I say in a promising tone before going back to my room. I open my violin case and find just what I'm looking for.

"Erik," I hold the surprise behind my back when I return to his room. "I have something for you."

He raises a questioning eyebrow and I move my arms to present my teddy bear. He looks thoroughly confused-- which I find adorable-- so I sit down next to him and pass it over.

"Sleep with it," I smile. "And think of me." Erik nods thankfully.

"Oh, and..." Before I think about it, I lightly kiss Erik's left cheek. He makes a panicked sound, but I confidently walk to the door. "Goodnight, Erik."

____

The next day comes too soon. It's the day, I decide, that I'll tell Erik that I love him. As far as I know, he knows nothing about my emotions towards him, so it will definitely come as a shock. However, I also want to ask him what's under his mask. He'll need to trust me if we can have a relationship.

What am I thinking? He'll probably reject me. I attempt to rid my mind of negative thoughts, but the doubts attack me to the core.

I begin to pace, a habit I share with Erik, and think of ways I can break the news. Erik should be in to deliver breakfast soon. Even though the door is unlocked, it's somewhat of a tradition. Plus, Erik is still keeping me here, though it's not against my will.

"You know you love him, Raeann," I mutter to myself. "You just... you don't know how to..."

"I just want to be with him," I run a hand through my hair, which is messy from sleeping. "I need to make it happen somehow..."

I decide to stop being stressed, so I take a seat on the carpet and patiently wait for Erik. Minutes crawl by, yet the masked man is nowhere to be seen.

That's funny... Where is he?

Okay just a warning that next chapter is (probably) the one with  the most action  and is the most important one in the book! It'll take a while to write, so I'm not sure when it will be posted. I'm really excited  for it, because it's a major turning point in the book!