Until We Die|✔️

12| Not Mentally

~I'll love you in silence, from a distance, just like I love the moon~

Evangeline's PoV
"What are you doing here?," I asked Tobias, wiping my wet cheeks. He didn't say a word as he stood in the doorway, staring at me with his emotionless eyes. It was then that I realised that he doesn't care about what's happened to me and he doesn't care about what will happen to me. He just doesn't care about me at all.

If that's the case, then why am I still here?

"Just making sure you haven't ran away," he spoke, his voice rough and daring almost as if he's challenging me. I will gladly back down from the challenge.

"Don't worry," I spat out. "I'm still here."

"No need to act hostile," he snapped as he clenched his jaw. The heart monitor increased slightly before returning to normal, giving away how I was feeling. I bit my lip and turned away from him, looking to the side as I stopped myself from saying something that might make him wanna hurt me.

I haven't been hurt yet but if I keep talking back, it might just happen.

"If you do end up running away, I promise you I won't stop searching for you until I find you," he promised me, threateningly as his voice fell deep making me wonder what he'll do to me when he finds me.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that," I told him quietly. Even if I did run, where would I go? I don't know the world and how it works. The world is a terrifying place but that scares me more than being in a mafia.

Do we really have to have this conversation while I'm hooked up to a heart monitor?

"In a few days, when you can handle it, your teacher will be here. He'll teach you about the mafia too so you're not completely in the dark," he spoke.

"Thanks," I told him before he turned to leave. I gazed at his back analysing the outline of back muscles as the whole conversation we just had flew out of my head.

It seems like I'm completely alone here again. I'm not just talking about the room I'm in, I'm talking about my life. I'm alone. The only close friend I had that I trusted has been sent away and I've been left alone. Obviously, I have Aidan but it's not the same. We're not as close as Enzo and I used to be.

I let out a sigh and closed my eyes.

"You little bitch!," my father screamed in my face, his spit flying everywhere. He let out a yell of rage as he gripped my hair at the back of my head tightly. He pulled me up to my feet by my hair before he dragged me over to a mirror. I scrunched my face up as my eyes snapped close.

He shouts loudly, cursing me and my whole existence as he smashed my head into the mirror. He did it once before pulling me back and repeatedly doing it. "STUPID BITCH! I WISH YOU WEREN'T FUCKING BORN!"

When he was all out of anger, he let go of my hair making my body drop to the blood covered floor. I couldn't feel my face, nor could I open my eyes. I could hear my mother whimpering from somewhere but she didn't dare to come near me.

When I heard the front door slam shut, she rushed over to me and stroked my hair gently whispering soothing words and singing a lullaby. I squeezed her hand gently, letting her know I wasn't dead.

Slowly, she picked out each piece of glass from my face and each time I winced and moved slightly, hoping she'd be done soon.

-

"Yeah yeah yeah," I said repeatedly to my teacher as I sat up in my hospital bed. I wasn't allowed to leave yet, sadly. "I know how a mafia works now."

"Do you really?"

I nodded my head. "Since I'm in a mafia, will I also be getting training?," I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders.

"You'll have to ask the boss."

"'The boss'?," I repeated, confused about who he was talking about.

"Tobias," he clarified. "Anyway, let's move on to some English."

Instead of teaching me to write some essays and stuff like that, he's teaching me words I never heard of before. He's teaching me a lot of stuff. If I thought I knew a lot before then I definitely didn't.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open and Tobias, the devil, entered. "Speaking of the devil," I mumbled under my breath. Luckily, my teacher didn't hear either. Both my teacher and Tobias nodded at each other before looking away.

"Tobias," I spoke confidently, addressing him by his name for the first time. "Since I'm apart of the mafia, I wanna learn how to fight."

He stared at me blankly, not even changing his facial expressions slightly. "Nice joke," he spoke flatly.

"Not a joke," I chuckled. "I need to learn how to defend myself."

"No, you fucking don't," he scoffed out. It was at this point my teacher had gathered his things and decided to leave.

"I really do."

"Get one thing straight, Evangeline, you're not apart of the mafia, you're in the fucking mafia," he spat out like I would know the difference of being apart of it and being in it.

"But come on! Please!," I practically begged. He was firm on his decision. "Please. You can't just say no. Think about it. If I'm busy, I'll have less time to think about running away."

"Evangeline, I've said no. Now, do you have any other fucking issue?," he asked, annoyed. I let out a sigh and threw my head back turning my body so my back was facing him. He let out a sigh as he got the hint and left.

What will happen if I encounter a man just like my father? How will I be able to fight against him?

-

A few hours later, Tobias had returned. He sat quietly in the seat next to my bed, wordlessly. He pulled out his phone and began tapping away. I didn't say a word either. This is what happens everyday. He'll come in once in the morning to check up on me, then he'll come again in the evening and just sit there quietly.

It's strange but I don't mind it.

I bit my lip, wondering if I should be the one to break this awkward silence. "Please," I began my voice already cracking. "I need to be able to defend myself. I can't be helpless, not again."

He paused what he was doing and stared straight ahead as he took in what I had just said. He cleared his throat. "We haven't hurt you and we won't. You're as safe as you can be with us."

"Physically but not mentally," I sniffled out, wiping away my tears. He tensed as he realised what I meant.

I meant that I'm safe with these boys physically but mentally, I'm not safe with anyone, not even myself. My father comes for me in my nightmares now and I'm still as weak and vulnerable mentally as I am physically. So I think, maybe, training to fight will help me both ways, not just physically.

"Fine, but I will teach you."