Indecisive Heart

Chapter 14

At lacrosse practice I took out all of my pent up feelings and poured them into my sport, lacrosse is such a stress reliever for me. It helps me forget about all of life's problems, even for an hour or two.

We were almost done with practice, taking a water break, when I noticed through one of the doors to the gym that Asher was standing there looking in at us, then Gia popped her head in the window as well. She looked like she was talking, but I couldn't tell what she was saying. What were they still both doing here, after school, together?? They couldn't decide on a place to go for a date so they just decided to stay at school? I thought Gia was in the yearbook committee, don't they have meetings at this time after school? Why was she skipping for him? It just made me even more mad at her to think about it, and this was lacrosse time, so I went back to playing hard and trying not to think about it.

They were still there about 20 minutes later when practice finished, and I wanted to know why. I was so close to going over there and asking if they were eavesdropping on us for some reason, but then they got up and left. I couldn't wait to go home so I could scream into my pillow.

After a very angry texting conversation I had with Rory when I got home, I decided what Asher does with Gia is none of my concern. The only thing I should be concerned about is what I do with Asher. Which, right now, is not a lot, but hopefully soon that will change.

I told Rory about our terrible eye contact moment earlier and she told me that's a good start. She told me I have to take it to the next level now. She didn't explain what that was though, so I have no idea what the next level is supposed to be. She just kept telling me to take it up a notch. I decided that to take it up a notch, this time I'd actually try to make eye contact with him and maybe even give him a smile, if I could muster one up without being terrified.

Nothing happened for a few days, and it was now the day of the big pep rally for the boy's basketball team, aka the Friday where Asher and Gia are going on their date to take pictures. The boys have one more game to go before playoffs, and it's tonight.

I was with the band, getting ready to play for the pep rally. The crowds were starting to fill the gym, and I spotted Rory in the crowd and waved to her. She gave me a thumbs up. The girl's basketball team had their final game last night, and they're not going to the playoffs. Rory's basketball season is now over, which means she can focus on lacrosse, which we will hopefully make it to playoffs for.

The pep rally was about to begin, and I saw Finn and Robbie run into the middle of the gym out of nowhere. They began the rally by getting everyone excited and telling everyone to come to their game tonight to support them and cheer them on. Finn looks over at me and winks while Robbie is talking.

Robbie and Finn are the team captains. Finn because he is actually good and a great teammate, Robbie probably because he's the only other senior on the team. After they finish talking, the band plays a few songs while everyone plays games.

The pep rally was almost over at this point, and I haven't seen Asher yet. I scanned the crowd for him when I saw Rory trying to get my attention. She was saying something that seemed urgent, but I can't read lips, so I had trouble understanding her. She gestured over to the edge of the bleachers, and I noticed Asher there, next to Gia of course. She handed him a camera. Maybe this was their date I thought they were going on. Did she suck him into the yearbook committee with her, or does she just want a picture of herself?

The band played one final song and then the pep rally ended. I saw Rory trying to get my attention again, still mouthing something I couldn't understand. She pointed again and I looked back at Asher standing in the corner alone, trying to work the camera he was handed by Gia. The flash went off and he seemed a bit startled by it. I giggled a little to myself.

I looked back at Rory and this time I can tell what she's saying. "GO! NOW!" This is my chance to get him alone. I packed up my trumpet and was about to walk over when Finn walked right up to me and cut me off.

I heard him talking about how fun the pep rally was and how I played good and blah blah blah, meanwhile I was looking over his shoulder to make sure Asher was still there.

Finn finally finished talking and when I looked back over to where Asher was, he was gone, nowhere to be found anymore. Just my luck. I looked back at Rory and she was talking to Robbie, so I just left by myself.

Later that day Rory came and picked me up to go to the game. We made sure we got there early enough to grab a seat in the front row, so Finn and Robbie could see us well. Finn waved to us both, and Robbie did a head nod to Rory, but didn't look at me. It's better that way, we're not really on head-nod terms.

During the game I got a little zoned out and started looking around at the crowds instead of paying attention to the game. I found out that Asher was here, with Gia, and her camera. Maybe he really had been sucked into the yearbook committee.

At half time Rory and I decided to go for a bathroom break. As we came back out of the bathroom, we saw Gia and Asher at the concession stand. I looked up at him and it was like everything froze.

He turned his head and looked right at me. The slightest, most innocent smile crept across his face. I wanted to look away but was stuck in the trance of his tightly-held gaze. It felt like we were looking at each other for hours. In reality I'd say it was about five seconds, and right before we broke eye contact at the last second I remembered to take it up a notch. So I smiled a bit and then looked down and tucked my hair behind my ear.

When we had walked past, Rory whispered to me "Sadie, that was so good!! The little hair tuck you did was genius! So sly and mysterious." She smirked and gave me a nudge.

For some reason it felt like I had been holding my breath for a really long time. "How long was I looking at him for? It felt like ages." I gasped. "Only a few seconds," she responded, "but that was plenty! He definitely noticed you. Way to take it up a notch."

For the rest of the game I relived that moment of magic in my mind over and over again. The boys won their game and Finn came over to visit us and thank us for coming again. "Thank you guys so much for coming! You truly are our good luck charms!" He was smiling from ear to ear.

Rory was a little distant as she said "No problem! I'm going to go find Robbie quick, but I'll catch up with you in a bit!" And she was off, leaving me with my pal Finn.

"You had a really good game!" I told Finn. "Thanks, I really pushed myself for this one. It means a lot that you were here to cheer me on." He was looking right at me. I smiled and responded "Anything for a friend."

Over his shoulder I could see Asher and Gia leaving. "I am so excited for the playoff game," he continued, "I am so sure we're going to win if you're there. I gotta go now, the coach wants to go over some things before we leave, but I just wanted to say thanks for coming!" Finn ran off, and I was left alone.

Rory came back a few minutes later and looked troubled. I asked her what's wrong, and she answered, "I don't know. I told Robbie I'd come find him after the game, but I couldn't find him. Maybe he just forgot in the heat of the moment."

"Maybe." I replied, and then she took me home.