Indecisive Heart

Chapter 29

Wednesday came quickly and I've been dreading it. I was in my room getting ready before Finn came to pick me up, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous." I told Olivia. "It's just Finn. I talk to Finn all the time and it's fine. Why all of a sudden am I nervous?"

Olivia grabs my wrists and looks me in the eye. "It's going to be fine. However tonight turns out, you will be fine." I gave her a hug, and moments after that, the doorbell rang. It was 7:00.

Finn was at the door talking to my parents when I came down the stairs. I was wearing a casual t-shirt dress with converse. Nothing too fancy, but fancy enough.

"Hello Sadie. You look great." Finn said as I met him at the door. He said goodbye to my parents and then walked me out to his car.

My heart was pounding out of my chest for reasons I do not know.

He took me to eat and everything was going fine. We were on dessert and I was laughing up a storm. It was just like any other time I am with Finn. Just two friends being friends and having fun together.

He told me jokes, stories about basketball, and he just talked about his life. Then he would let me talk and tell jokes and he would laugh along. After we finished dessert, he drove me home and walked me up to the front door. Before I opened it, he stopped me.

"Sadie, I had a really great time tonight."

"Me too." I smiled. Finn smiled back, then started moving closer to me until there was barely any space left between us.

I looked up to meet his eyes and realized they were closed, coming in towards my face. He's going to kiss me. So I closed my eyes too, ready to meet his lips, but something was wrong. As soon as I closed my eyes, all I could see were a pair of deep brown eyes looking straight into mine. They were not Finn's eyes, they were Asher's.

Immediately I jolted backwards before our lips met.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked. "I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm ready for this yet." I looked at the ground. Finn seemed frustrated. "I don't understand, I thought the date went well."

"It did. I'm just... confused."

Finn gave a loud sigh and then said "Well when you know what you want, let me know." Then stormed off to his car and left me alone at my front door.

I walked up the stairs to my room with silent tears trickling down my face. I laid face down on my bed and continued to cry.

Why am I like this?

I had a great time with Finn, and I wasn't thinking about Asher at all this whole week. Why all of a sudden does he appear as I'm about to kiss someone else?

I pulled out the pictures he gave me from prom night. I was so happy dancing with Finn and Rory, but I couldn't stop thinking about Asher that night. He really hurt me when he shut me out, but even when I was hurt, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Apparently, even after I thought I was healed, he's still in the back of my mind. I spend so much more time with Finn than I do with Asher, but when I did spend time with Asher it was great. He made me feel like I could be myself around him. I need to figure this out, now.

I called Olivia and Sophia into the room and told them what happened and how I was feeling. "Sadie, there's not much more we can do to help you on this. You just have to follow your heart now. It's obvious that Finn likes you, although now he may be hurt since you turned the kiss away. Asher may still like you too, but he's been distant and he hurt you. You need to decide what you want most and how you're going to fix this. You could end up losing two good friends if you don't fix it." Sophia explained.