Indecisive Heart

Chapter 22

"I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have done that." I shook my head, sitting on the edge of Sophia's bed again. It's turned into my therapy seat, and Sophia is my therapist.

"It's okay, it was just your natural emotions Sadie. It was real, it came straight from your heart. The best advice I could ever give to you is to follow your heart, and that's exactly what that was. It doesn't matter if you like him as a friend or as something more. You felt a hug was necessary there and that's totally okay!"

I sighed. "But I don't know WHY I did that! Why did I do that? What if I gave him the wrong message? It was a longer than usual hug." I put my head in my hands.

"It doesn't matter. What happened happened. You just have to figure out how you feel and be true to that. But until you figure out how you feel, just continue to follow your heart and it will lead you there."

Then, the worst realization came to my mind. My eyes went wide, and Sophia noticed. "What?" She asked.

"What if my heart likes both of them, Finn and Asher? What do I do then Sophia?" She paused for a moment, thinking. "Well, you can't have both. So you'd have to have a little talk with your heart to see which one would be more worth it. Maybe you only really like one of them as a good friend, but not in a boyfriend way. You just have to take some time to figure those things out. You might not know until you go on a date with one of them and realize that's not the boy you want to be with. Just get to know them both more, spend more time with both of them, and maybe you'll have more clarity. Take it day by day and listen to your heart. Try not to hurt either of them in the process either, be honest with them." Once again, Sophia, my therapist, has all the right answers.

"You're right, I just need more time to get to know them and spend time with them."

She nodded. "And even if it takes you until you agree to go out with one of them for you to realize that's not the one, don't be ashamed of that, just be honest with yourself and with them. It might hurt both of you, but it will hurt much less than if you were both living a lie." I hugged her and said "Thanks, Soph. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I really wasn't even sure what I was feeling after tonight. Maybe that's what Finn was going for. I'm just going to do what Sophia told me and follow my heart. I just need more time.

That night while lying in bed I decided I wasn't going to wait for Asher to write another hit article to take him bowling, I was going to ask him to go with me tomorrow. I can't wait for another opportunity to thank him. I hope that confidence will be ready, because I'm asking him tomorrow no matter what.

The next day in the morning Finn stopped at my locker to say hi, which he hasn't done in a long time. Recently he just came at the end of the day, not in the morning too.

"Long time no see." He joked. I laughed and said "Yeah, it feels like I was just with you a minute ago." Probably because I was thinking about our hug all night long. I wonder if he did, too.

At lunch before he sat down I told Rory my plan to ask Asher to hang out again. That way if I hadn't done it by the end of the day, she could hold me accountable. It's nice to have a supportive friend. She knows about what happened last night, and when I told her I was going to talk to Asher today, she was a bit confused. I had to explain to her what Sophia told me about following my heart and spending time with both of them. Rory thought that was a good idea, so she's all on board. She told me to not lead either of them on though, because that would just wind up bad. So I just have to remember to only be friendly, not flirty, with both of them.

Near one of the entrances to the cafeteria, I saw a large bouquet of balloons appear. Suddenly a large chunk of the cafeteria simultaneously exclaimed "Ooooooo!"