Ace of Spades

Two Days Before

Eight hundred thousand plus people filled the Ayala Triangle.

Eight hundred thousand plus people fighting for good governance, for the country's future, and against historical distortion. Almost a million showed up, fighting for and with Leni Robredo and her slate.

It was a sight to behold. A sight for the history books.

Leni watched everything unfold before her eyes. Everyone was celebrating, chanting, cheering for her and for the rest of her team. Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest she could hear it. At the same time, it felt peaceful.

From here on out, no more hesitations. There was only certainty.

As she stood in the limelight, tears brimmed in her eyes. This was it. No more turning back. Whatever happens, we fought the good fight. She delivered her speech, voice raspy from all the speeches she'd done throughout the campaign.

"Manalangin. Magpasalamat sa lahat ng nakasama. Palayain ang sarili mula sa duda at pangamba. Magtiwala na sa dulo ng pawis, panahon, at sakripisyo, may tagumpay na nag-aabang. Gawing payapa at tahimik ang ating puso...Ipagdiwang natin ngayong gabi ang isang makasaysayang kampanya. Kaya tara na, ipanalo na natin ang sambayanang Pilipino!"

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The Makati lights were still bright when the post-rally celebration ended. Everyone had left the dining hall except for two people. Risa sat beside Leni, accompanying her for the rest of the evening because the older woman didn't want to go up to her room just yet.

"Maaga kayo babalik sa Naga bukas?" Risa asked, eyes directed to the staff coming in and out of the area, fixing and packing the campaign materials left.

Leni nodded, sighing and relaxing in her seat, gaze fixated on what Risa was also looking at. "Oo, para marami ring oras magpahinga. Ikaw, maaga ka aalis?"

"Yeah, diretso na sa bahay."

It was quiet. Too quiet for their own liking. And yes, they did enjoy the peace, but it was two days before election day and being quiet made space for loud thoughts. Both women didn't want to think loudly tonight.

"Leni," Risa spoke, eyes still not leaving the moving people. "Kinakabahan ka ba?"

Leni chuckled breathlessly, fidgeting with her hands. "Sobra."

"Me too."

One of the hotel staff approached them, saying they would be closing the function hall in a while. The pair stood up and walked towards the elevator, taking that as a sign for them to rest for the night.

"Sa tingin mo ba kaya nating manalo?"

"Sa tingin ko, hangga't maraming nakatindig kasama natin, kakayanin nating manalo."

"What happens if we win?"

"We celebrate. Then we go back to work."

"And what happens if we lose?"

"We continue. Malulungkot, mapanghihinaan ng loob, pero we continue. Tuloy ang laban natin, diba?"

The elevator doors opened and they got in. "Oo naman. Tuloy ang laban natin."

When they finally reached the floor where their rooms were, they stepped out and Risa walked Leni to her doorstep. "Kung hindi ako tumawag no'ng gabing 'yun, would you have called me and convinced me to run?" Leni asked, leaning on the wall beside her door.

"Actually, I was about to call you that night. Nag-alangan ako pero I was about to. What were the odds, huh?"

They laughed lightly, the severity of their situations and their work dawning on them every passing second. "If I lose the elections, will I still have you now and always?"

"Oo naman," Risa assured sincerely. She reached for Leni's hand and squeezed it. "Kahit anong mangyari, lagi't lagi."

"Okay, wooh," Leni exhaled loudly, shaking her hands and her shoulders. "Grabeng election anxiety 'to ang bigat sa pakiramdam."

"Sinabi mo pa," Risa laughed, placing a palm on her forehead and shaking her head. "Para akong lalagnatin anytime."

"Bawal ka lagnatin. Maraming mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw." Leni swiped her keycard and opened the door, inviting Risa in. They stood in the foyer, leaning against opposite walls.

"I know. Ang bilis ng pangyayari. Parang kahapon lang, ang sakit pa ng ulo ko kaiisip sino bang tatakbong presidente."

"I stressed you out, didn't I?"

"Sobra!" Risa snickered. "Alam mo bang halos mabaliw kaming lahat kasi hindi namin masigurado if magfafile ka ba ng candidacy or not?"

Leni scratched the back of her neck and avoided Risa's gaze. "Duty called eh. At the end of the day, bayan naman muna ang pipiliin bago ang kagustuhang magpahinga."

"At bago ang kagustuhang magmahal nang malaya," Risa whispered.

Leni looked at her, their eyes making contact with each other. "Do you think we made the right choice? Letting each other go, I mean."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up," Risa apologized, realizing that it wasn't the appropriate time for them to talk about that. "That's a conversation for another day. Saka natin pag-usapan 'yan kapag walang halong bigat ng eleksyon 'yung mga isip natin, okay?"

The older woman realized she was right. They couldn't talk about it yet. Not because they didn't want to — that wasn't the reason anymore. But because they had so much on their plates as of the moment that talking about it wouldn't do anything to ease or fix them at all.

Risa smiled at Leni and continued, "But to answer your question, I think we did. It made neither of us happy, but it was the right thing to do."

"Even with all the pain and the regret that came with it?"

"Yes. Even with all of that."

Leni nodded in understanding, her eyes gleaming underneath the warm light. "We'll talk about this soon then, Senator Risa?"

"Of course, Vice President Leni. But for now, we face one day and one problem at a time. Saka I know the pre-election anxiety is rough but it'll be over soon, okay? Fighting!" Risa raised her fist in the air, making Leni laugh.

The younger woman opened her arms, giving Leni a bright smile. "Come here," she urged. Leni immediately gave in, knowing she needed that badly.

Hay nako, Risa Hontiveros. The woman that you are, she thought fondly.

She wrapped her arms around Risa's waist and the younger woman hugged her shoulders. Leni laid her head on Risa's chest, breathing out all her worries and all her fears for the days about to come.

Years have passed but Risa's hugs still felt that way to her. It made her feel safer and calmer. Peaceful, for a lack of better desription. She was assured that she wasn't alone. That someone was here to fight with her, cheer for her, and support her all throughout.

"Thank you, Risa," she whispered, eyes closed, wanting to savor this moment they had.

"You're welcome," Risa replied, her eyes also closed as she hugged Leni tighter. She was nervous too. But this hug made her nervousness and anxiety fall silent even just for a while.

The two women parted and Leni held out her hand, immediately missing the comfort of Risa's closeness.  Risa stared at her, confused, but still taking the hand that was offered to her. The older woman squeezed her hand, reveling in its softness and warmth.

"Try and get some sleep ha?" Risa said, rubbing her thumb on the back of Leni's hand.

"You too. Baka mas hindi ka pa makatulog sa'kin," Leni teased, copying Risa's gesture before letting go of her hand. Risa took that as her signal to leave. She opened the door, turning around to face Leni before walking out. 

"Good night, Leni."

"Good night, Risa."