Ace of Spades

Peace Amid Chaos

September 2021

"We have a month before the filing and yet we still have no opposition frontrunner!"

"Wala tayong choice kundi pumili ng isang kandidato that would run as opposition."

"Bakit pa kailangan mamili? Mas may chance tayong manalo if we unite the opposition. We need to strategize the unity talks further so we can rally behind a single candidate."

"Wala na tayong oras to strategize unity talks. Filing of candidacy is in a month at ang presidential candidates nating nakikita as of now that could spearhead the opposition is either a political butterfly, a boxer part-time senator, or a political veteran who's also a fugitive."

"Hindi tayo mananalo with a divided opposition at alam niyong lahat 'yun. Kailangan nating mai-unite ang opposition whatever it takes."

"Unite the opposition? Eh matagal nang watak-watak ang oposisyon. Have we not initiated unity talks with possible presidential candidates already? Where has that led us?"

It's so loud.

So boisterous.

So many opinions, so many thoughts.

Kailan ba kayo magkakasundo?

She was pissed.

Her head was aching, throat constricting, and anger was bubbling in her chest. She tapped the pen on the table, lightly massaging her temples. Suddenly, everyone's voice seemed to be louder, her eyesight dimmed, and she just wanted to go home.

"At hindi ba nag-initiate na rin si VP Leni ng meetings para sa united opposition? Oh, may pinatunguhan ba? Wala. VP na mismo 'yan ha."

At the mention of her former lover's name, Risa's mind swarmed with thoughts of her. Her Leni. Well, not hers anymore — or never was hers in the first place. How was she now? Was she still overworking herself?

Does she still think about us?

Her mind spun even more just thinking about her. What a mess this whole thing was, what a mess everything has been since the very beginning.

"We've been convincing VP Leni to run for so long. Wala ata siyang balak tumakbo."

Why not? Risa wanted to ask. Why don't you want to fight for a better country anymore?

But deep down, she already knew the answer. A woman, however bloody but unbowed, has her limits too. The past 6 years have taken a toll on Leni, the same way that staying in a relationship, however platonic it was, took a toll on them both.

Doesn't she want to be in this fight with me again?

"Sen. Risa, maybe if you could talk to the VP in person, may chance na pumayag siya. These unity talks will delay the inevitable. We need her to run."

The team, even Risa's staff, had been convincing Leni to run for weeks. Not Risa though. She hasn't talked to Leni for anything other than work, or the occasional how-are-you's and greetings on special occasions. They lost a little bit of whatever was left of their relationship after she walked out the OVP that day.

"Sen. Risa, please. Kausapin mo si VP. You two are very close and maybe a personal connection with her could help."

What personal connection?

The only personal collection she has with Leni now is something she's not even sure still exists. If by personal connection, they mean civility and polite friendship, then perhaps they do have that. But if they're pertaining to a close, tight-knit friendship, then no. Not anymore, at least.

Lovers — almost lovers — don't have personal connections after they let each other go.

"Sen. Risa, what do you say? Pwede mo bang tawagan or puntahan si VP para i-convince siya?"

They didn't have a choice. And she seemed to not have a choice in this matter either. "Fine," she replied albeit begrudgingly. "Kakausapin ko siya."

Risa arrived home an hour later, going straight to her room and crashing on the bed. If she was pissed earlier, she felt even more pissed now. Her mind was so tired that she felt it deep in her bones. Her shoulders tensed, hands shook, and body asking her to succumb to sleep.

Groaning loudly, she sat up and pulled her phone out of her bag, immediately scrolling through her contacts to find the name of that one person she hasn't called in a long time.

She tapped the contact, still having second thoughts on calling her. Was she really the best person to do this? Could she convince Leni to run given their history?

Seeing the message icon, she pressed it and was directed to their text history. "Thank you, VP." was the last text she sent. Risa remembered this conversation. She was in her office and they had to coordinate with the OVP for work. She scrolled up to the conversation before that.

April 2021. She greeted Leni a happy birthday and wished her well. The previous texts were composed of birthday greetings and work-related matters. Nothing less, and definitely nothing more.

She didn't know why she was scrolling through their messages, but hearing Leni's name like that again, being brought up so casually, especially relating to her, stirred thoughts she tried so hard to suppress and so hard to disregard in order to continue living her life.

Risa would be a fool if she wouldn't admit that she missed her. She was certain she didn't miss her romantically because years had passed and she had already moved on, but she missed her nonetheless.

She missed talking to her about the most mundane things, bonding with her over a cup of coffee, catching up with her in the office, and all the other normal friendship things they did.

Inhaling sharply, she remembered why she opened Leni's contact. She had to call her now or she wouldn't gather enough courage to do it tomorrow or the next few days. She could still hear the voices of the people arguing earlier in her head and sensed a migraine about to come.

It's so loud.

So boisterous.

So many opinions, so many thoughts.

Kailan ba kayo magkakasundo?

Before she could even press the call button, her phone rang.

Leni.

Leni was calling her.

"VP? Hello." She answered carefully, heart pounding louder and louder by every passing second she could feel it drum in her ears.

It's so loud.

So boisterous.

So many opinions, so many thoughts.

"I want you on my slate, Risa."

Suddenly, everything fell at peace.