Ace of Spades

Hesitations and Certainties

It was an endless cycle.

At least that was how it felt like to her right now.

She'd wake up before the sun would rise, have breakfast, then go to the first sortie. Sometimes there would be places she needed to visit before noon, then it would be time to eat. Another sortie or meeting would await her after that. Afterwards, as usual, a grand rally would be held before the day would end. She'd attend the post-rally dinner then retire to her room to read her speeches for the next day.

She'd fall asleep, but not before texting her kids to wake up early and eat breakfast.

Then her alarm would ring, nudging her awake, and she'd do the same things all over again.

Hesitation was a part of those endless cycles. Was she good enough for this? Was she ready for this?

She would go to sleep with all the self doubt, and wake up, still with all the self doubt. But she made sure that before she would step out of her hotel room in the morning, there would be no more uncertainties on her part.

Hesitation was an endless cycle. But so was certainty.

She can do this. She was ready for this. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

It was a Sunday and they were supposed to be resting. But since today was Labor Day, the team had plans. Eight more days, Leni thought. Eight more days and we'll know what the next six years hold for all of us.

Leni was on the way to the event in celebration of the national holiday. She was reading her speech while listening to the updates of her team on the current internal polls, the upcoming events, and the whereabouts of her senatorial slate.

"Ah so hindi kumpleto ang slate sa event?" Leni asked.

"Yes po, Ma'am. Kayo lang po nina Sen. Kiko, Atty. Matula, saka Sen. Risa po. Pupunta rin po sina Sir Elmer saka Sir Neri."

"Pupunta si Sen. Risa?" Leni hadn't heard from Risa in a week, not that she messaged her anyways. The only updates she had from the senator were those from her staff. That said, she was fine with it because they both needed the time and the space away from each other.

The staff nodded, answering her question. "Ay, Ma'am..."

Leni turned her attention back to her staff.

"Inform ko lang po kayo na pinatanggal po ng staff ni Sen. Risa si Vice Gov. Lucas sa mga future accommodations for family members. VIP pa rin po siya since kasama po siya sa core team natin at ni Sen. pero hindi na po included sa family count."

Oh.

"Nagsabi ba kung bakit?"

"Hindi po eh."

Leni nodded, masking away her curiosity. She was about to pull her phone out to text Risa and ask her but she realized she had the time to do it later. Risa was going to be in the event after all and they had time to talk during the lunch break.

She arrived at the Araneta Coliseum, greeting the volunteers backstage. She sat down beside Kiko and asked him how he was while they waited for their turn to be called onstage.

"Pinatanggal ni Sen. Risa si Vice Gov. Lucas sa VIP priority sa family members ng senators. Nagsabi ba siya sa'yo kung bakit?"

Kiko shrugged, surprise evident in his features. "Really? Wala namang nabanggit si Risa."

They sat in silence, the voices of the host echoing backstage. She looked around, seeing if Risa was anywhere to be found. But she wasn't. Maybe something important came up like she said last week.