Victor and I were on FaceTime talking about his shitty basketball team "oh my gosh! My dad texted me!" I said excitedly "oh, what did he say? Victor asked and I read the text
"Hey, Benji! Would you like to come over and get dinner with me?"
"Uh, say yes, obviously..if you want" victor said "I will." I responded back with a 'yes' and he said he'll be here in an hour to get me
-
"Hey, dad" I said getting into his car "hey! How have you been?" He asked "I've been good" he nodded and started driving "you don't mind having dinner with my girlfriend and her kids, do you?" I thought today was just gonna be me and him. "I've never met them before." I said "it's alright. You'd have to meet them one day. I figured today would be the day" I sighed "fine"
The drive to his house was silent until we got there. He opened the door to his house and a kid came running up to him "Charlie!" He yelled "hey, kid" he smiled widely. He's never been this excited to see me "this is my son, Benji, he's 16" they all smiled at me and said hi "Benji, this is Alyssa, 22, Javier, 14, and Carlos, 11." I waved at them all before sitting at the table with everyone. My dad gave everyone some food and I watched as they all conversed, laughed, and joked with each other
"Dad- I mean, Charles, can you pass me a napkin?" Javier asked. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Why are they calling him dad? He's my dad, not theirs. I took a bite of my food and listened to their conversation. They were barely even including me. Why was I even there? "So, Benji. Do you have a girlfriend?" Alyssa asked "no, I'm gay" they all stopped and looked at me "oh...um, so you have a boyfriend?" I nodded "that's cool" she said awkwardly and continued eating
After dinner, Alyssa, Javier, and I sat in the living room watching tv and all I hear from behind me is my dad and Carlos having a blast. He was laughing, my dad was laughing and so was his girlfriend. This isn't fair, that used to be me. I used to have fun with my dad like that, we used to be a happy family like that. Why aren't we anymore?
I felt the tears form in my eyes and I wiped them away before anyone saw. I sighed and got up to walk to the bathroom. I walked by a laughing Carlos on the way which didn't make my feelings any better. When I made it to the bathroom, I broke down in tears.
Why did this hurt so much, he moved on. I should be happy for him. He's making a new family and slowly forgetting about me and how I feel about this. You know what, I hate this, I just met them and I already have so much anger built up. They're sitting in the living room, feet up, like they're there all the fucking time. They're probably here more than I am and I'm his kid. I hate not having a proper family anymore, it's just me and my mom. I don't get to fucking have this anymore, I don't get to spend time with my dad as they do, I don't get hugs for him anymore, I don't get comfort from him anymore, I don't get anything. Nothing.
I composed myself, wiped my tears, and splashed some water on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and walked out to sit on the couch and watched everyone else having fun.
Hours go by, and my dad finally decided to bring me home "Benji, say bye to everyone" I smiled and waved at them before stepping outside to the car.
"Did you have fun?" my dad asked "can you take me to victors house?" I said avoiding his question. Once again, the drive was silent. He drove and I just stared out the window trying my hardest not to cry.
-
"Bye, dad" I said getting out of the car "bye" I watched as his car drove off and I walked up the steps to victors apartment
"Hi, benji" Pilar said opening the door "victor, your boyfriend is here!" she announced letting me in the house. I saw victor walk out of his room and smile at me "Benji? I thought you were with your dad tonight?" He asked and I walked over to him "yeah, for a few hours" I said "you look upset..did something happen?" He asked leading me into his room
