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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Warnings: mentions of sexual assault
Benjis pov
"Gosh you're gorgeous" victor said getting on top of me. He started to kiss my neck making me let out a small moan.
He continued to kiss me as he ran his hands up and down my torso.
Soon I felt victors hands go down to my hips and then to my thighs
I tensed up and victor stopped what he was doing
"Are you alright?" He asked and I nodded "yeah...I'm okay" I told him "are you sure?" I nodded again and we continued to make out
I felt him place his hand on my member and I bucked my hips forward not expecting that
The memories of what happened in my past relationship flashed in my head
"You can do this Benji," I thought to myself "it's just victor, he's different, he won't hurt you"
I took a deep breath and relaxed
I began to get extremely nervous and I could feel my breath shortening as my heart pounded out of my chest
"Okay! Stop touching me!" I exclaimed and victor quickly got off of me. We backed away from each other and I pulled my knees to my chest.
"I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong? Are you alright?" Victor said "n-no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that" I told him with tears welling in my eyes "Benji, what's wrong?" He asked "Nothing, victor, it's fine...J-just come here" I pulled his shirt to pull him into a hug "it's not fine, Benji. Somethings wrong and I just wanna know so maybe I can help" he said
"It's just really embarrassing to talk or to even think about " I said, tears streaming down my face. "Don't worry, baby. I'm not here to judge you. You can tell me if you feel comfortable." he told me wiping the tears from my face.
"Promise you won't leave...or think I'm disgusting" I cried holding victors hands "of course I won't leave..." he told me
"so, um, when Derek and I were dating we were doing something like this where we're watching a movie and cuddling with each other and he started to touch my hips and I told him to stop and I moved his hands away from me but he kept going. And when I tried to move but he grabbed me and pinned me down underneath him. And then he...Um, proceeds to have sex with me. I didn't consent to it at all, I kept telling him no, I told him it hurt, I cried and begged him to get off of me but he didn't stop. I wasn't even ready to have sex with anyone yet" I sobbed out, looking down at my hands afraid to see how Victor was gonna react
"Oh my...baby that's horrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that" victor told me "I'm sorry, Victor, I thought I was over it and I thought I was ready again. I just feel like I have to give you something because we've been dating for a year now and we haven't done anything...I'm just scared."
"No, no, no. You don't need to give me anything, you already give me all your unconditional love and that's all I need. I don't need sex just for me to love you...And when you feel comfortable enough and you're ready to do it we can and if you ever want to stop you can tell me and we'll stop and do something else." Victor said cupping my cheeks
"I would never force you to do anything you don't wanna do." He kissed my forehead before I hugged him again "thank you for being so understanding Victor, it means a lot" I smiled into his chest "of course Benji...I love you a lot and I promise I won't ever do anything to you that you don't want to do" he rubbed my back "I love you too, Victor"
~•~•~•~•
Hey, bestieeees!
Did you miss me
No
Haha okay 😔
Jk
Anyways
I literally have no more ideas for this book- I'm having severe writers block
Um, also.
I've been getting back into another fandom I was in at the beginning of 2020
The outsiders. I READ THE BOOK YESTERDAY AND I WAS SOBBING THEN I WATCHED THE MOVIE AND CRIED EVEN MORE ANSJWJDJIW
Also school starts next week and I'm hella nervous for no reason.
Actually, there is a reason
1) I have no real friends 2) I have social anxiety
Also,
I watched love Simon at like 2 in the morning and cried because who doesn't like crying over a gay movie at 2 am 🙄✌️
