Dear God, why did you do this to me?!

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

   "So, Miss Parks... do you know of any reason why your father would want to kill himself?" The police officer asked me. I nodded. "Would you like to tell us?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Not really, but I suppose that was a rhetorical question." I muttered as I slipped deeper in to the uncomfortable  plastic chair.

"Hey, we just want answers, no smart arse comments." The male police officer snapped. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I just found my father hanging from a beam in our barn the other day and you expect me to tell you the reasoning for him wanting to kill himself?" The female nodded. "What are you? Fucking stupid?! He was my only family member left, and you want me to talk about all that messed up shit? Well, I won't - I refuse! I'm heartbroken! I'm the only one left and I just want to grieve, not sit in a shitty police station and get interrogated by you clowns!" I shouted, on the brink of crying.

"We know, but we're just doing what we're told: getting answers." The female said, pushing a box of tissues and a plastic cup of water towards me. I pushed them off of the table, on to the floor, and slammed my chair backwards. I then walked over to the corner, sat down and pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I started to silently cry in to my knees as I bowed my head down.

   I cried for ten minutes before the male officer cleared his throat and said "Think of it this way; the sooner you tell us, the sooner it's over." I sighed before pulling the letter that my father had written to me out of my back jeans pocket and sliding it across the floor towards the table. There hadn't been a moment, since I'd read the letter, where the letter hadn't either been on me or in my sight. "Miss Parks has just given us a letter." The male officer said to the recorder. They then read the letter as I wiped the tears from my face on my sleeve. "It is a letter from Mister Parks." He continued after reading the letter. A fresh wave of tears fell as I hated the thought of someone else knowing why my father had killed himself.

   "So, has your father ever told you about anything like this before?" The female officer asked me. I shook my head. "Do you know what pushed him to do it?"

"We had an argument about me going out with one of our staff, and he didn't like the idea. Adam and I didn't see him that whole day or the next day - well, until we... saw him." I said before bursting out crying as the image of my father struggling in pain as the noose cut off his supply of oxygen popped in to my head.

"Okay, thank you, that's all we need. We'll call your friend in and give you a minute." She then handed me my letter and walked out of the room before Adam entered. He cradled me in his arms and rocked me gently.

* * *

   When we got home, Adam carried me upstairs and placed me in my bed. He then crawled in beside me. I turned away from him and stared at the wall. "I love you." Adam whispered in to my ear, his warm breath making me shiver.

"Mmm." I muttered, feeling tears spring to my eyes. As the hot, salty tears ran over my nose and down my cheeks, I felt Adam's hand creep around my waist. He started to caress around my belly button and along my hip. I put my hand over his and moved his off of me. He sighed before saying "I'm going to go out and do some work, I'll just... leave you to your thoughts and stuff." Adam's voice trailed off as he got fauther in to the sentence.

   When sleep finally took over me, I had one of the most vivid and terrifying dream that I had ever had.

As I walked along the dirt track to the stream, I heard a low and daunting wailing noise come from behind me. I whipped my head around and met the sheer darkness that had abruptly taken over the sun and blanketed the trees and my path. I turned back and continued to walk in the direction of the stream, crossing my fingers that I was heading in the right direction. I obviously wasn't, as my foot soon became entwined with a thick, unearthed tree root. I fell forward, heading for the floor that now had the appearance of a never-ending abyss. I put my hands out, trying to stop myself from falling in to the darkness and felt something grab me by the scruff of the neck and pull me up into the air like a mother cat carrying its young away from danger.

I squirmed in this uncomfortable grip, the hand (or, I assumed it was a hand), had fingertips like razor blades, and all six - yes, a strange number of digits - were cutting into my back and causing me to cry out in pain. I turned my head to see a misty being holding me up. It were tall, translucent and spooky. My efforts to escape this death-grip proved amusing to the being as they chuckled (at least, I think it was a chuckle, it was a low noise that bellowed throughout the valley and in to my body). This 'chuckle' caused my skin to go in to an oblivion of goose flesh. The being shook me roughly and said "Angel, don't struggle, you'll only make it worse. It hurts more if you struggle. Be a good girl, and do as Daddy says." My eyes shot open as it addressed me as 'Angel', the name only my father had called me. "Oh, Angel don't you recognise me?" It asked, it's hollowed eyes boring in to my soul. The tears slid down my cheeks as I felt a feeling of anxiety flood throughout my body. Why was this thing referring to itself as my father?

"Come on, Angel, talk to me." The being said, though it sounded like more of a command than a request. I stayed silent, biting the inside of my cheek. "Fine then, I guess I'll just have to make you talk." It threatened. The next thing I knew, there was a shrill screeching noise deafening me. I put my hands to my ears and screamed in pain. Then, I felt myself falling in to the abyss. I continued to scream and tried to stop myself from falling by sending my hands out in every direction, hoping to grab on to something. My hand met a thin branch and clung to it for dear life, hoping that it would hold my weight for a little while. "Oooh, my angel learnt how to grab a branch, let's see if it can hold her weight." The being then started to scrape it's sharp fingers along the branch, running over my fingers and causing blood to trickle out of the cuts. I winced as I held on to the branch tighter, making my wounds sore. It cackled before running its fingers down my spine and over my hips. I let go of the branch and put my hands to my back, falling in to the darkness.

I heard the daunting wailing before I shot up in my bed. I instantly started to scream as images of the dream whizzed though my head. I curled in to a ball on my matress as I cried, laying there in a cold sweat.

   "What is it?" I heard Adam shouting, though it was muffled by the sound of heavy footsteps thudding up the stairs. Adam was soon by my side and rubbing my back.

"No!" I cried as I felt a stinging in my back from where the being had grated its fingers along my spine.

"What, what's wrong?" Adam was asking, his voice thick with worry. Adam was placing his hands on my back, trying to stop me from wriggling about. My hands flung out trying to get his away from my back. Adam eventually got hold of me by the wrists and restrained, holding me to the bed, pinning each wrist to the mattress and laying me on my back. I cried in agony as I lay there, tears streaming from my eyes. I writhed under his strong grip, trying to get away. "Hon', calm down. Stop, it's me!" I couldn't though, it was like I was in a completely different world to Adam, like I was high and everything was so much more... intense. Adam rested his elbows on my arms and started to stroke the sides of my face with his hands, trying to snap me out of it. Then, everything was a blur of colour as I struggled in Adam's arms.

   Soon, there was a powerful spray of cold water hitting me and Adam as he held me upright, gripping my upper arms and shaking me gently. After standing under the cold jet of water for five minutes, with Adam talking at me constantly, my body went limp and I fell in to Adam. He cradled me against his body, pulling me to his chest and slowly sliding down the wall until he was leaning against the wall with me in his lap. I looked in to his eyes and started to cry, snuggling into his chest.