Unspeakable Acts (bwwm)

2

| Alyssa Mitchell |

Jasmine and I decided we'd get ready for the football game at my house. The theme for the game is neon. That's great because neon is all I wear!

Note my fucking sarcasm.

Instead of going to school today I decided to go shopping for some neon things and just spend the day by myself. I love shopping, but as a big girl it's way more complicated.

When I go shopping with jas, and most likely some of her cheer friends I have to worry if the store they want to go in even has my size. And they shop at places like American eagle, Hollister and Ann Taylor. Occasionally I can find some things but even then, they're granny made clothes.

I would shop online more but it's a hassle if I get the wrong size and need to ship it back. Not to mention how expensive plus size clothing is. It's wild.

On my way to the mall I decide to stop at Starbucks to get a matcha. This morning I had toast and boiled eggs, with a few pieces of watermelon.

I try my best to eat healthy, I've never had a good relationship with food. It feels like my enemy. The way my brain works, I feel like since I had coffee with my breakfast, and I had a sweet creamer in it. I feel that I shouldn't get my favorite pumpkin scone because my coffee was already sweet, and that was my sweets for the day.

Another problem I struggle with is finishing my food. Growing up I had to finish my plate or I'd get in trouble. So now I unintentionally force myself to finish every meal I eat. Even if I'm full. Lately I'll stop myself and tell myself that I don't have too.

Today I decided to wear these active shorts I got from old navy and a sweatshirt. Along with a pair of slides. I didn't do much to my hair, just threw it up into a messy ponytail.

I love the lazy comfortable look that girls wear, but being fat I don't want to look like a slob. It's the middle of the day though, no one from school will see me.

After grabbing my matcha I drive to the mall.

I ended up finding a few cute items, I got a neon yellow sweatshirt and a new pair of neon color-block vans. I'll just wear a pair of leggings to the game.

On my way to school, I get a text message from jas.

Jas: girl where are you???

I realize i spent more time than I should have at the mall, I don't even have enough time to stop back at home to change. 7th period, we have a huge quiz that i can't miss.

It's alright, I'll be fine. I don't look horrible! Thank god I have my sweatshirt on, and thank god I'm not to insecure about my legs. Before going into the school I rub a little lotion on my legs and grab my matcha.

I have about 10 mins before the start of 7th period. I have to go to the office first to sign in, and get a late slip.

It's a good thing only one person is in the office, the wait shouldn't be too long. I notice a student sitting in the chairs, probably waiting to talk to a counselor or something. I slightly smile at him and make my way up to the desk.

"Alyssa, why are you late?" The office lady stands from her desk giving me a stern look. I nervously bite my lip trying to figure out a good excuse.

"Well Mrs. Turner I slept in very late, I was going to just stay home but I have a test I can't miss." I give her a wide smile trying to get her to not continue the conversation. I don't have time for it.

She writes up a slip and continues her stern stare at me. I smile taking it from her and immediately heading out of the office.

"Okay jaxon, she's ready for you!"

I make it to class with just a minute to spare. Jas looks over to me with wide eyes, "you're so lucky girl!" I laugh lightly sitting my bag down and pulling out my notes to look over.

"I was going to introduce you to jaxon, the new kid. But he's in a different class right now. I'll introduce you guys at the game okay?"

I nod in response, trying to keep my focus mostly on my notes. But Jasmine continues talking, "he's pretty hot I won't lie. Oh and he'll join us at the party tonight."

I go back to my notes trying to cram in some last minute studying.

***

It took jas and I about two hours to get ready. She and I did matching neon makeup and I feel so cute! I'm wearing my neon sweatshirt, a pair of light washed jeans and my color block vans.

Jas did some neon paint dots on her face, all the cheerleaders had to do it. She insisted I do it too but I declined. I'd rather not be the only one standing out in the crowd. We took jasmines car, and left mine at home.

Since Jasmine is a cheerleader, and the captain at that; she has to be here early. Just like the players. At games I usually sit in the crowd with our friend Angel. If I didn't have angel, I wouldn't come to the games. We make our way to the field and there's already a few people in the stands watching the players warm up.

"Guys!!!" Angel screams, waving jasmine and i over to him and someone I do not know. Jasmine grabs my hand, "that's the new kid."

Angel gives me a tight hug as Jasmine gives the new kid one. She grabs my hand again and holds onto his shoulder, "A this is jaxon. You guys didn't get to meet."

He looks at me, with low eyelids. He's definitely high. He has tattoos on both of his arms and his neck. He's very fit, I just know the gym is a priority for him.

"Hey." He nods his head still staring intensely at me. He's the guy from the office. I only remember because as I was leaving out Mrs. turner called his name.

I give him a smile and a little wave. I never know how to introduce myself to people, I become all awkward. I tend not to say anything because when I do say something, things I don't want to come out of my mouth....comes out.

Angel holds my hand and pulls me to the bleachers. Jaxon following closely behind us. Angel leaves me sitting in between him and jaxon. I've vowed not to take interest in men, so it doesn't bother me. Usually I'd be panicking trying not to be awkward. We watch Jasmine run onto the field and greet the other cheerleaders.

"You were in the office...7th period. Why were you late?" Jaxon finally speaks up making Angel and I both look over to him.

I laugh shaking my head, "it's a long story..."

"We got time." He mumbles tilting his head back. There's no emotion in his voice. I nod beginning to explain, "well I did actually wake up late, but I had wanted to go to the mall to grab things for tonight's theme."

"What's tonight's theme?" He questions me, sounding genuine. I stare at him for a second confused.

Does he not see all the cheerleaders and people in the stands covered in neon clothing and face paint?

"It's neon night... can you see?" My question wasn't meant to come off as rude or sarcastic. I'm assuming he took it that way by the changed expression on his face.

"I'm colorblind jackass."

{word count 1300}