Unspeakable Acts (bwwm)

28

| Jaxon Wright |
a few days later

I don't let Alyssa see my hands shake. The second her voice says my name, soft and confused, I force my body to slow.

"It's nothing," I say, too fast. "just a nightmare.."

Her brows knit together. "Jaxon..."

"i'm fine baby, i just been taking melatonin. nightmares are a symptom."

She nods. Her eyes search my face, and I hate how easily she can read me when I'm not careful.

"Do you want to keep watching the movie?" she asks quietly.

I nod. "Yeah."

She doesn't push. That's the thing about Alyssa. She gives trust freely, even when it costs her. We sit through the rest of the movie like nothing happened. I keep my arm around her. I laugh at the parts I'm supposed to, but something inside is wrong. Not right.

I stay until she falls asleep, her head on my shoulder, her breathing evening out like it always does.

I leave before morning.

The gym is empty when I pull into the lot. It's late, the kind of late where the world feels hollowed out. I need the burn. The noise in my muscles. Something physical enough to drown out my thoughts.

Inside, fluorescent lights hum overhead. I lift heavy. Hard. I push until my arms shake and my lungs burn, until sweat drips down my spine and my shirt clings uncomfortably to my skin. It helps...just a little.

When I finally step back outside, the night air is sharp against my damp skin. I reach for my keys.

"Still lifting like you're trying to outrun something."

My body reacts before my mind does. I turn fast, my gun already in my hand.

He's leaning against a car like he belongs there.
Older than I remember. Thinner. Smarter-looking somehow. Prison did that to him. it sharpened him. His eyes flick to the weapon, then back to my face, and he smiles.

"There it is," he says calmly. "Knew you'd be carrying."

My grip tightens. "You shouldn't be here."

"You always did hate surprises," he replies, straightening slowly. "Relax, Jax. If I wanted you dead, you'd already be on the ground."

I don't lower the gun. "You're supposed to be inside," I say. "Rotting."

He chuckles. "That's not how the world works. Not for men like us."

"We are not the same," I snap.

He takes a step closer. I adjust my stance without thinking, keeping distance and keeping control. He notices. Of course he does.

"Look at you," he says, impressed. "Posture's solid. No hesitation. You pull like you mean it."

"Relax," he mumbles, holding his hands out just slightly. "I'm proud of you, son. You learned fast."

My jaw clenches. "You don't get to call me that."

His smile fades for half a second before returning, colder this time. "You don't get to decide that."

Silence stretches between us, thick and dangerous.
"I know you," he continues. "I know the way you think. You didn't come here for fun. You came because you felt it. Something being off. Someone watching."

I don't respond.

"You built a life out here," he says, almost amused. "School. Pretty girl. Quiet town. Real wholesome."

"Don't talk about her."

That gets his attention. His eyes sharpen. "Ah. There she is."

I step forward. "She's not part of this."

"Nothing ever stays separate," he replies smoothly. "You know that."

My chest tightens. "Why are you here?"

He sighs, like I've bored him. "Because it's time."

i keep my glare on him, not uttering a word.

"For you to come home."

I laugh. It sounds empty even to me. "That life is dead."

He tilts his head. "Is it?"

"Yes."

"You think the organization just vanished because you ran?" he asks. "You think loyalty dissolves that easy?"

"I'm not interested."

"That's cute," he says. "But it's not optional."

I lift the gun higher. "You don't own me."

"No," he agrees. "But I own the mess you left behind."

My heart starts to pound, slow and heavy.

"I built everything so you wouldn't have to," he continues. "And now it's your turn to take it."

"I won't," I say. "I'm done."

His expression hardens. "Then you're selfish."

"Say what you want."

"I will," he says calmly. "You walked away. Your mother ran. And the twins..."

My breath hitches.

"...they're growing fast," he finishes. "Adessa...pretty little thing. Easy to scare."

My little sister has always been my soft spot. my brother too but he's already like me. our sister though..she's soft and sensitive. I don't remember moving. One second he's standing there, the next the barrel of my gun is inches from his forehead. My voice is low and controlled.

"You don't get to say her name."

He doesn't flinch.

"There he is," he murmurs. "That's my boy."

"If anything happens to her—"

He cuts me off. "Then you'll come home."

The words hang between us like a sentence already decided.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says, almost sincerely. "I want you where you belong."

"I belong here."

"With a girl who makes you soft?" he asks. "That won't last."

I pull back slowly, putting distance between us again. My mind races, calculating and weighing outcomes that all feel wrong.

"You have a choice," he continues. "Come back quietly. Or I start pulling threads until your little life unravels."

"Stay away from her," I warn. i can't put alyssa in harms way.

He smiles again, satisfied. "Then don't make me come find you twice... see you in california."

He steps back into the shadows, disappearing as easily as he arrived. I stand there long after he's gone, my heart pounding, my hands steady now in a way they weren't before.

I already know what I'm going to do. I just don't know how to survive it without destroying everything I love.
And Alyssa...She can never know why I leave.

Not yet.

990