The King's of New York

Distant Timing

"Whatever it is, I know you don't wanna be saved. No, I never thought it would go up in flames."
~

Hermione

IT'S been three weeks of me not doing anything. I haven't even seen a pair of my scrubs. I miss my job and I even miss my old life. I missed my mother so much that I called her the other day.

She left me hundreds of messages and calls prior to me finally calling her. But I don't have the guts to tell her anything. I knew if I heard her voice I would've started crying.

That's all I have been doing now; crying. Leo and I are merely distant lovers. Roommates at this point; but that requires for him to sleep in the same room.

After our big fight a few weeks back he did sleep next to me. And despite my anger against him he still held me close to him. But now I sleep alone; hoping his warmth will come back. Lately my mind has been drifting to the possibilities of what he could be doing, where he's at, and who could he be with.

When I called my mom she was so relief yet stressed she hadn't hear from me in awhile. I had to explain— well lied to her I went on a vacation to focus on my mental health. She wasn't buying any of that knowing I'm a workaholic. But after some pleading to not look for me and to trust me, she somewhat complied.

For the past three weeks, I spent time in the library the most and in the wine and liquor cellar. I feel like I binge watched every Netflix and Hulu show. I've been swimming and I've been out in the garden for som fresh sun.

But all those things I couldn't do alone or without the protective eyes of Santos. I know this man has better shit to do other than babysit me all day. I have better shit to do than live life in a prison mansion.

The only I do see the immediate family is at breakfast and dinner; I eat lunch alone. And when we are altogether the silence is loud and tension is thick. Leo looks anywhere but at me and I avoid eye contact with everyone.

I noticed something though between Jack and Christina; they only talk to each other when Charlotte talks to them. Christina had a slight bruise on her wrist that she tried cover up with a sweater. I wouldn't pass it by Jack that he hits her; he scares me the most out of all men.

Now we sit at the breakfast table once again, everyone is yet again quiet. The sounds of forks hitting the plates echoes in the room. I side glance Leo who sits in deep thought blowing his coffee.

"When will I be able to leave?" I ask causing all motions around the table to stop, except Charlotte who digs into her French toast.

Leo finally spares me a look before picking up his phone, "When it's safe."

I nod trying my best not to burst into tears, "Excuse me." I mumble lowly hoping my voice won't crack.

I walk out the dining room and make my way back upstairs to the library. As soon as I walk inside the room I close the door and slide down the door. Tears fall down my face as I cover my mouth to muffle my sobs. Pulling my knees up, I lay my head on my knees.

I don't know what hurts the most, the fact that I feel lonely in this big ass house full of people. Or maybe it's that I feel like I'm losing myself.

Standing up after awhile of sitting I make my way out the room to the bedroom. Leo walks out of the closet with a new change of clothes from this morning. He looks so good and he's wearing my favorite cologne. I notice him frustration as he fumbles with his tie.

Walking up to him I place my hands on his, removing his hands away from the tie, I begin to tie it correctly with ease.

"You usually can do this with ease." I comment glancing at his expressionless face.