The King's of New York

Ruin & Solace

"Danger, oh, how you hold me. I get a chill inside. And nothing frightens me."

~

Hermione

Collecting my thoughts and dusting my self off. Without a word or a mere glance to Andrea and Christina I make my way towards the door.

As I step out into the eerily quiet hallway, I am surprised there isn't any security standing guard. The alarms from earlier and the crowd of chaos now disappeared. I slowly make my way down the hall. My heels click against the tile floors as I let my feet carry me. I try to force my moms words out of my head, due to the high stress situation. Yet they're like bees and my mind is the honey. But I fight against them and set out to find Leo.

I need answers. I need to make sense of all this.

I avoid the hallway that caused so much strife on what could've been the perfect night. No guards are physically around and the housekeepers have went vacant. However I know better, the guards are probably in the security house and rooms watching cameras or outside following Leo's protocol.

With that thought in mind, I follow the hallway that leads to the private passage way towards the security rooms. As I step into the dark cement hallway the hairs on my neck stand and goosebumps form on my skin.

Leo always told me I only enter with him, Ricky, Jack, or. However, I need to see him, I need to make sure he's okay. I need to make sure my moms words aren't true. I know once I see his face everything will be worth it.

The small dim light bulbs barely light the hallway, so I make my steps cautious as possible. I would hate to break or sprain an ankle right now. The end of the hall way leads to a cemented winding stairwell. As I descend the stairs the smell of what seems like blood, vomit, even feces harshly invade my nostrils.

I cover my mouth and nose preventing myself from puking and smelling the stenches any further. As my feet land on the last step, the sounds of a man whaling and groans of pain echo around me.

My eyes glue to the wretched scene before me. Under florescent lights stood Leo, Ricky, Gia and Jack drenched in blood.  Guards circle around them watching the scene unfold. Leo. My Leo doing what he has told me countless of times he's capable of. Doing what he has trained and raised to do. Doing what his world is filled of.

I watch Leo's rigid body stand over the man whose face is now deformed and bloody. Leo's bloody hands wrap around the man's throat, watching as he spits up blood and cough for air.

"I'm going to beat the fucking life out of  you every single day for every second you thought you can come into my home and pull this shit you did tonight. And every time you're nearing death, I will save you and bring you back to a healthy form. Then I will continue to bring you near death again." Leo growls in the man's face before releasing his throat.

The man's body drops to the floor coughing and gasping for the new found oxygen. Leo then grabs him by his shirt and punches him hard across his face.

"I want you to remember this moment every time I have your fucked up face nursed back to health. I want you to forget about whatever God you fucking believe in, and let  reality sink in your senseless brain." Leo says before pulling the man to him, just mere inches from his face, "That there's no God coming for you. No white savior. There's just the devil and you for now on. And I'm going to make every second of your life living, miserable, painful hell."

Leo says lowly but with firm, every word enunciated with hard promises.

"Get him the fuck out my sight." Leo says as he drops the man back on the floor as if he means nothing.

I know to Leo he really doesn't mean anything.

Leo turns around his eyes finding mine instantly. His dark eyes darken more, filled with anger and dark harsh promises.

I don't wait or stick around to figure out what those promises entail. The care about me being in heels fly out my mind as I take two steps at a time and race down the dark passageway.

I don't know why I'm running from the one man I was just seeking solace just ten minutes ago. But the version of Leo I just witness wasn't the Leo I was looking for. He's the same person physically, but it's like someone flipped the switch, and the beast I know lays deep within him took over.

"HERMIONE!" Leo yells and I practically feel the entire house and floors shake around me. I race through the house and up the stairs not wanting to glance behind me.

I know he's hot on my tail. He doesn't even have to run with his long legs he can speed walk and catch me. Bursting into our rooms double doors I stumble towards the bathroom.

Just as Leo bursts through the doors, I quickly slam the bathroom door shut and lock it. My body falls slack against the door.

"Open the door Hermione." Leo commands in his low tone. It's calm but I know better. I know him. This version of his calm voice is the opposite of what it should make a person feel. It's nothing near calmness and everything of panic.

"Hermione..." Leo voice trails, and even there's an entire wooden door between us, it feels like he's right in next to me whispering in my ear.

"I just want to talk Hermione. Open the door." He sighs and I want to open the door.

Because the irony of this entire situation. I maybe scared beyond shitless of him right now. But he's the only one that can remove my fears with ease and calm my racing nerves.

"Hermione I will break the hinges off the damn door if you don't open it in three seconds."

His words sound are more true than any threat I ever heard. And I know Leo won't even flinch or blink when he rams the door of the hinges.

I quickly unlock the door yet slowly open it, my fingers beg to tremble. My eyes find his dark irises and my mom's words hit me again even harder than hearing them the first time.

A sob I didn't even know formed in my throat escapes me and tears spring down my cheeks. I can feel the entire world fall on me and my knees buckle. Leo wraps his arms around me holding my body up and against his large frame.

I shake my head frantically as soon as the smell of blood engulfs my nostrils, my fingers become slick and sticky of the red substance, my sight is blinded the crimson color.

I never was afraid of blood. I am a doctor and studying to be a surgeon for god sakes.  But this is a different type of blood. This is blood of pain and death. The blood I am accustom symbolizes health and life.

"No, no, no, no..." I mumble pushing against his frame seeking a way of his hold, "NO!" I yell my voice screeching and tone full of panic.

"Shhh, mi amore you're just in shock." Leo whispers in my ear as he tries his best to soothe me.

Another sob escapes me and all I have the energy for is to cry. Cry for my mom, my dad, for Leo and I. My fingers grip the bloody shirt for dear life, I've stop trying to get away and cling to the person that became my lifeline.

To the one person who has the power to soothe me and torment me.

To build and break me.

The person I gave that power to and for some dark reason I don't want it back.

Because I like it this way. Relinquishing the control of my feelings and wellbeing to someone who is capable of plain and gruesome murder.

And as I fight him but beg for him to be near. Push him away yet pull him close, shout profanities yet scream my love for him through my tears. He's the only one.

Only one I want to ruin me completely.

In a dark and twisted way a small part of me  begs for it.

Leo Sicario is my ruin and my solace.